07-30-2014 06:47 PM
"Just because it's hard for you doesnt mean it isnt what is best for them....babies will surprise you with how self sufficient they can be." I completely agree. It has been so tough for me to ignore the crying but in the end it all works out for the better.
08-22-2014 02:00 PM
10-20-2014 08:09 PM
I completely agree with you. It amazes me how many parents are ok with hearing their babies cry at night, alone in another room. It's heartbreaking and I don't care how many times I have to get up at night to soothe my eight month old, I refuse to put him through that. It does get hard sometimes to keep waking up when I'm in the middle of deep sleep but I don't have the heart to ignore him just for my personal comfort. It seems everyone around me has the "let your kid cry all night" philosophy and they try to make me feel like I'm the bad person for going to him every time he cries. I'm glad I am not alone in the way I approach this situation and it just reminds me that I don't have to do what everyone else does or raise my child the way everyone else sees fit. I am going to continue doing what is best for my son, and that is being there for him whenever he needs me, day or night.
a week ago
I agree with you!!! Thank you for writing! I have 1 year old twins. One sleeps. The other doesnt. My husband is pressuring me to find a sleep consultant. I need to find someone who will be kind and not do this cry it out method.
I'm really tired of having people say "crying it out" is abuse or that parents that do this are horrible people. The fact is as adults we take for granted that we can put our selves to sleep. Babies do not sleep through the night, it just doesnt happen, they wake up they have sleep cycles just like every human. There is nothing wrong with teaching children to be self reliant and self soothing with their behaviors, because the fact of the matter is one day mommy and daddy WILL NOT me be there, or CAN NOT come immediately to their rescue... Kids these days are taught that they do not have to do anything for themselves, and I have a very strong feeling it starts with these kids not being able to "sleep" by themselves and having mommy and daddy run to there every whimper and cry. My son is a year and a half, most nights he wakes up at least once and crys out, and 90 % of the time he finds his lovey and falls back asleep with in 2mins. Yes he is crying, he mostly just doesnt want to be awake, but I truely believe if i went in there immediately every single time he cried out i would be doing him a GREAT disservice and would not be doing anything for his future. We have children to guide them to be healthy and happy grown ups, he knows we love him reguardless if he has to wait for 5 or ten minutes. I am the parent he is the child, I will make it my mission for him to grow up to realize that he can not expect everything be handed to him or that HIS happiness relys on ME providing it for him and being with him 24/7 and doing everything for him... I am not a monster for making my child LEARN to figure out if he can help himself or if he truely needs me. We have to stop babying our children and start teaching them how to be funtioning members of society, and really it starts as soon as they come out of the womb. They can't stay helpless newborns forever. That being said, Im sure none of the parents who "sleep train" and take it seriously, that they EVER endanger their children. This way of thinking is not about with holding comfort from your child when they are sad, or in pain. It is about teaching them they are strong enough to be in these temporary situations and be ok after.
No one said it was "abuse" or that you are a "horrible" person. Just that they didnt think it was appropriate for their children. Your language and tone is vitriolic, aggressive and unwarranted. I think everyone can agree that we want the best for our children. It is my opinion for my children (note "my opinion" and "my children" and it seems others on this post agree) that I would prefer not to do the cry out it out method because I dont think it leads to self sufficiency but, rather, learned helplessness (e.g. they are not coming so I will give up). I dont think that helps a child feel more secure. I think a child who feels secure that a parent will be there when needed will also feel free to explore the world more boldly. I hope that my children will feel secure to look outward rather than inward because they KNOW I will always be there for them (even at night when it is inconvenient). That said, I am hoping there is a happy medium and that there are better and kinder ways of teaching children the very important skill of learning how to go (and stay) asleep. Kindly attacking other people who have different opinions. I am sure your parents taught you that if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all.