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Sunday, July 22nd, 2012
Well, we’re all moved in up here in Massachusetts, and it’s safe to say it’s been… quite the adjustment for Caroline.
We’re pretty much unpacked, which helps some. I made sure that her room was completely set up the first day I moved, before my parents even brought her to the new place, to give her some sense of stability.
I got the rest of the house set up as quickly as I could for the nanny, who started with two 12-hour days immediately after we moved in. Sigh… I think that was a mistake on my part. The house was in a state of chaos, the days were long, and they had only met each other once before. I should have done half days at work or something rather than my usual 11-hour Monday and Tuesday. By Tuesday afternoon, Caroline was a mess, and I had to hand off my 6:00 patient to one of the other doctors so that I could come home early. After two days at home with me, she was better, but it’s still just… a lot to handle. She’s insecure, going through a lot of transitions, and no nanny in the world, no matter how awesome, is going to take the place of her mom right now.
At least having the nanny start immediately after a move has set the bar pretty low for my housekeeping (or lack thereof) for the rest of the summer. (Silver lining?)
All in all… I’m happy to be here, and to be starting out on our new life, but… I am tired, you guys. I just started a new job, Caroline is so clingy and freaked out by the move that the only time I really have had to unpack is after she’s in bed, so it’s been slow going and I haven’t sat down in about a week. My feet are so swollen that I only have a couple of pairs of shoes I can wear, and she doesn’t sleep much at night so she’s either thrashing around in my bed with me, or running screaming down the hall to my room because she wakes up and doesn’t know where she is.
My bedroom, of course, is the only part of the house that’s a wreck at this point. I’ll get to it when I get to it. My room, and my feet, and in general my sanity, are the least of my worries right now.
I repeat. I am tired. I have no help– my parents are in Ireland, Tyler is gone, and I can’t possibly ask the nanny to do more than I already do.
Once we’re completely set up, and she’s adjusted, it will be fine. It will be pretty much perfect. I have an amazing job and a paycheck and awesome coworkers and a great new place to live. We’ve just got to get through this transition period… and I need to sit down, and sleep for more than 45 minutes at a stretch. Which I will do. Sometime. Soon.
Any advice on helping a child adjust to a new home, state, childcare situation, diet, father who’s moved away, and/or all of the above, would be much appreciated.
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Saturday, July 14th, 2012
Tomorrow is Moving Day. Goodbye Connecticut, hello Massachusetts. Caroline and I are outta here.
First of all, I need to just get it off my chest that moving out of state with a three year old is most definitely not a one-person job. I can confirm it. I’m so deliriously tired that I probably will not even remember writing this post after tonight. It’s been kind of a perfect storm of craziness around here these days. I started my new job in private practice two weeks ago, I’ve been painting the new place and packing to move, Tyler hasn’t been around and won’t be again, Caroline is leaving her old preschool and I’m having a new nanny start, and I had to radically change Caroline’s diet. She is kind of a mess, I’ll be honest with you. She doesn’t do well with transitions. And we’re dealing with a lot of them, all at once.
“Kind of a mess” in preschooler terms translates to constantly throwing tantrums, screaming NO regardless of what I’m saying, clinging to me with a death grip, and unpacking everything I try to pack. Thank goodness for my parents. They live an hour away, but they are there when I need them. I literally could not have done this alone.
But now everything is packed, and the movers are coming tomorrow, and we are leaving this place for good. This living room is soon to be empty again. Even though Caroline’s lived her whole life here so far, I have to say I won’t miss it.
I’m ready for my fresh start.
I absolutely love my new job. It couldn’t be a better fit for me, honestly. Everyone there is so nice, the practice runs so smoothly, and I feel like I am doing good work for good people. I’m only working three days a week, so I have a lot more time to spend with Caroline than I did during residency. I got my first paycheck, so money is no longer a constant stress. Our new house is bigger and brighter than our tiny dark apartment, and has a yard for Caroline to play in.
It was not easy for me to finish dental school in the middle of a divorce and with an unexpected baby and to go through a residency as a single mother. But I did it, and I’m proud of it, and I feel like all of my hard work is finally paying off… for me, and for my daughter.
I’m pretty sure that once things settle down, there won’t be a whole lot more we could ask for. So hold on, Caroline. I haven’t quite got things put together yet… but we’re headed for a better life.
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Apartment, Caroline, milestones, Money, Moving, Nannies, Preschool, Single Parenting, Tyler, Visitation, Work | Categories:
Caroline, Single Parenting, Unexpectedly Expecting, Work/Life Balance
Monday, June 18th, 2012
With my residency complete, my next task has been to focus on finding a nanny in Massachusetts to take care of Caroline for the summer before her new preschool opens.
(Side note: this new preschool is totally badass. It’s a Montessori school where she can take Spanish and music and art and yoga and Zumba. Not joking. I basically want to go to it myself and send Caroline off to work in my dental office to support us. I mean, she’s already got the scrubs. But I digress.)
Faced with this task, I tackled it with my usual crazy-intense full-tilt totally-inappropriate approach: I went all in, you guys. I did nanny speed dating.
I used Care.com to post an ad for a nanny (did not include Caro’s Tumblr, though I should have) and was promptly overwhelmed by over thirty applicants for the job. In all seriousness, that website is great. The vast majority of the applicants were well-qualified and seemed very nice, and they do the background checks for you. No, I’m not getting paid by them to write this– it’s just the truth.
Problem is, with all those applicants and all the online dating I’ve been doing lately, I was afraid I was going to mix up my accounts and start hitting on the nannies and trying to hire the single men. Which I’m pretty sure is illegal in at least 48 states. (Although, wait a minute… that actually sounds like a more successful dating strategy than anything else I’ve tried lately…)
Anyway. I managed to narrow the field to six potential nannies, and scheduled to meet all of them in half-hour blocks this afternoon. Let’s just pause for a minute and discuss how incredibly awkward I am and should never be allowed to interview anyone for anything, ever.
Okay, good talk. Glad I could share that with you guys.
It was a rather tedious afternoon of saying the same thing over and over and asking the same questions over and over, trying to politely dismiss them before the next one walked in while we were chatting. One of the nannies actually called me out on it:
Me: (glancing at the door) Okay, well, thanks for coming by! I’ll be in touch about the position. Nice to meet you!
Her: Are you cycling all your potential nannies through here this afternoon, like, one right after another?
Me: What? No. (guilty look)
Her: (irritated) You’re doing this like speed dating, aren’t you?
Me: HAHAHA! That’s exactly what this is like! That’s hilarious! I love it!
Her: ::blank stare::
Yeah, I didn’t hire her. I don’t think we’re that compatible. We’d never work out in the long run. We just want different things, you know? (It’s not her… it’s me.)
In the end, I found a great girl to come and hang out with Caroline this summer while I’m working, and hopefully help ease her transition to a new home, a new preschool, her father moving away, and whatever else we have in store for us. Speed dating was a pretty efficient way to find her, too. And now it’s on to the next task: moving to a new home, with a three year old in tow, and no help.
Anyone know of a speed dating service for movers?
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