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Thursday, June 9th, 2011
Some of the stuff toddlers do just doesn’t make any sense. Some might say that is a consequence of their underdeveloped frontal lobes. (Yup, I’m a doctor. Of teeth.) I say it’s a conspiracy of the small people to make all of us previously-sane adults completely and collectively lose our ever-loving minds. You know what I’m talking about.
1. Totally unreasonable screaming fits.
They start with some innocuous statement on your part and end with completely incoherent banshee screaming and howling on your toddler’s part, complete with kicking, screaming, lying down on the floor and bawling; hyperventilating and breath-holding; hitting and biting and kicking. You know. No big deal.
Let’s take a personal example from my own life.
Caroline and I are playing with puzzles on the living room floor. I tell her, “I’m just going to go turn the oven on.” The kitchen, in our apartment, is about three feet away from the living room floor. She can still see me. In fact, I can pretty much turn the oven on while still touching her. Yet the response is a wildly panicked “AAAIIIEEEOOORRRGHHHH!!! NO MOMMY!! NOOO!! PEEEEASE!! NO TURN OVEN ON!! NO! NO! NO! NO!!!” I swear, the neighbors are going to call DCF on me one of these days, just for trying to make a home-cooked meal for my kid. It will be totally unfair and I hope you all will defend me.
2. Refusing any and all life-sustaining food, except for Cheerios.
When Caroline was about a year old, she would eat anything. I could chop up a block of tofu and she’d devour it with a smile. Now her idea of the perfect dinner consists of a bowl of ketchup and a spoon. I make her all kinds of delicious things: gorgonzola-bison sliders with baked sweet potato fries; grilled veggies with grape tomatoes, fresh basil, and goat cheese in a honey-balsamic dressing; chicken tikka masala with cucumber mint raita; pan-seared sea scallops with fresh mango salsa… I put whatever it is in front of her. She looks at it. ”Mommy, I have cereal?”
3. Laughing whilst you try to discipline them.
Let’s take another example from my life. Caroline knows she isn’t supposed to stand up in the tub. She is going to slip and fall and smash her teeth and for God’s sake, I can’t handle a dental emergency with my own child, I’d freak out and turn into an incompetent pile of smush. She stands up, grinning at me. I say “sit down, Caro.” She laughs maniacally and says “No mommy! When mommy mad, I Caroline Anne.” I say in Mom Voice, “Sit Down, Caroline Anne.” She laughs so hard that she slips and falls, which is exactly what I was trying to prevent in the first place. Then she cries and looks at me, betrayed, as if it’s my fault.
And all of this, friends, is why I add $15 for a box bottle of wine into my budget for everything. Every meal, every purchase, every event. It’s just self-preservation. That’s all. You understand.
Now, share your toddler’s irrational behaviors in the comments. Really, do it. I need to make sure I’m not alone here with the insanity.
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Monday, November 30th, 2009
So, feeding Caroline is a whole new experience out here in North Dakota. When we were here this summer, she hadn’t really started solids yet, but now that she’s almost 10 months old, “real food” is a much bigger part of her diet.
And it’s kind of difficult to do out here.
I’m pretty neurotic about what she eats, because I’m a little bit of a health nut and always try to think about what kind of eating habits I’m helping her create for later in life. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this here before, but I make all of her food. This is mainly driven by grad-student poverty and extra stay-at-home-mom time, with a little bit of “gray meat and fluorescent veggies squick me out” thrown in there.
So I went to the nearest grocery store, which I just have to point out is almost 30 miles away and is actually in Montana. I knew I was in trouble when I saw the teeny little fresh produce section next to the rows and rows of frozen aisles, but I guess that’s the way it goes when you live in a very remote area where things would spoil before they ever get sold. Here’s a list of just a few of the things Caroline eats all the time that you CANNOT find at said grocery store:
- Whole milk dairy products like yogurt, ricotta, cottage cheese, etc.
- Anything organic. I try not to get too spastic about eating all-organic because it’s so expensive, but I do have a lot of vague and rather arbitrary food categories that I prefer to be organic, such as “things you don’t peel before eating” and “things that seem kinda dirty”.
- Any kind of antibiotic- or hormone-free meats or eggs.
You can, however, find things like:
- Pickled pigs’ feet in a jar (organic status unknown, but questionable).
- Any cut of beef or type of wild game you can imagine.
- The biggest variety of frozen pizzas, TV dinners, and fish sticks that I’ve ever seen.
You can see that it’s kind of a challenge. I finally left with a lot of frozen fruit and veggies, some cheese, and some sweet potatoes and squash. Luckily I had suspected ahead of time that feeding would be problematic, so I had sent non-spoilable things like organic black beans, oatmeal, and dried fruit with Tyler in his car.
Mainly I’ve just had to get over the fact that she won’t be eating much fresh food for the next month. Really it’s no big deal for such a short period of time, but like I said, I’m neurotic. The upside: you can’t get fresher beef than the stuff my in-laws get straight from their rancher relatives, so I think it might be time Caroline had her first baby hamburger!
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Sunday, August 24th, 2008
What a busy weekend! Last night, Tyler and I threw an engagement party for our good friends (we are both in the wedding party) and I think it was a huge success. About 18 people came, I think, so it was a lot of work for a sick pregnant girl! We made tons of appetizers and everyone really seemed to love the food and appreciate how much work we put into it all. The menu included: deviled eggs, chips and salsa, veggies and dip, cocktail shrimp, crab-stuffed mushrooms, double tomato bruschetta, chicken wings, and some desserts made by some of my girlfriends. Oh yeah, and sangria and beer to drink. We ended up leaving early (around 10:30) because I’m still hit pretty hard with this cold, but apparently people stayed the whole night and partied until about 3, so we did our job and people must have had fun!
Today, we went to my parents’ house to check out all the baby stuff they’ve gotten us at yard sales, and to exchange cars. I know I shouldn’t let myself think this because it’s so generous of them to give us my mom’s Subaru (she did need a new car anyway, but still, they could have traded it in!), but I was really sad to give up my Big Red. It’s such a crappy little car, but I bought it myself with my own money when I was 17 and it’s hardly ever given me any problems. Everyone hated the idea of me driving around in a ’93 Geo Prizm, pregnant and in the snow, and I guess I agree… and I definitely did not want to put a carseat in it. So it’s for the best, but today I am kind of mourning my little red Big Red. I wanted to name the new car Doublemint, since it’s green and I like to name my cars after chewing gum, but Tyler said that was a stupid name. I think I am naming it that anyway. [:)]
So, it was an insane weekend, and with this disgusting cold I don’t really feel recharged for the week ahead (people, just let me have my NyQuil, already…) but I am sure I will plow through it like always. Oh, and here’s the 12-week belly pic I promised (although they’re a little overdue at 12w3d). You can see my new haircut in it, kinda. I really needed something to make me feel pretty, since my skin is a wreck and I’m in that fat-looking stage that comes before true baby belly:
Hope everyone had great weekends that were much more relaxing than mine! [:)]
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Sunday, June 22nd, 2008
One good thing about my husband being gone for the summer is that I get to try out new recipes that I know he wouldn’t like, and I get to eat random things for dinner that I’d never make for both of us. (I love the man… but he is not a very adventurous eater!)
Some of my faves: chicken with lime and avocado salsa, salmon-potato cakes, ceviche salad (seafood that is “cooked” by marinating in citrus juice, plus selected fruit served over salad), eggs scrambled with lox/sour cream/dill or sundried tomatoes/feta, broiled tomato halves topped with parmesan, bread crumbs, olive oil, and fresh basil; salade nicoise, quiches of all kinds, grilled cheese with tomatoes and ham, chicken souvlaki, salmon and sweet potato frittata… and on and on. (If you want any of these recipes, just ask!!)
Salmon potato cakes
I know that there are a lot of tomatoes in that list, but I laugh in the face of salmonella. I can’t give up a single one of my veggies. Spinach is my worst addiction– during that spinach scare last year, I went to the sketchiest grocery store I could find, bought a bag, and devoured it as usual. I am not really a fruit person, but veggies… can’t live without ‘em. And just in case you think all that sounds really healthy, I have been known to eat ice cream for dinner, and I never ever miss dessert!
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