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Pregnancy ’ Category
Friday, January 23rd, 2009
I’ve been a slacker when it comes to blogging lately. And I’ll tell you why: I feel rotten. All I have to relate to you are complaints, and nobody wants to hear that, right? To be fair, I should have written this in the morning, because then my body is far less tired and sore from lugging my belly around. Tyler calls me Grouchy McGroucherson in the evening. But now that I’ve started, I can’t stop the complaining, so here it comes… like word vomit…
I’ve had contractions for six weeks and counting. Some days they are better and I won’t have a single one; other days I will have them several minutes apart for hours at a time. I wonder if I’ll have anything left when it comes time for true labor. I wonder if I’ll recognize true labor when it starts.
Sometimes it feels like my pelvis is splitting open. This is probably because it is. I have always had the hips of a ten year old boy (read: nonexistent), and a baby is going to have to come through there somehow, so I guess they are making themselves ready.
Having a big belly sticking out in front of you makes your back really, really sore. By the time nighttime comes, there is no position I can get into without wanting to cry. Right now I have my Snoogle wrapped around my waist, and that seems to be helping, but usually I just end up going to bed because I just can’t sit anywhere.
There are other things… I feel huge, I pee all the time, I don’t sleep well, blah blah blah. The looks I get from strangers as I waddle past them have slowly transitioned from “awww, what a cute pregnant belly” to sympathy/pity or “please don’t let your water break on my shoes.” Then again, other things have gotten better, and I should probably focus on those things instead– less heartburn, less trouble breathing (maybe the baby has dropped?), more rest since I’m out of school, and every day that goes by is one more day closer to meeting my baby. I have to say, though, overall– I’m kind of over it. I want my body back!
Anyway, on to a different topic that involves less whining and violins. We started childbirth classes about two weeks ago. It’s an interesting experience. It definitely makes labor seem like something more real, something in the near future that is actually going to happen to me. Which is good, not bad. I’ve been putting off thinking about labor because I’m not good with pain (I know nobody likes it, but I’m a pretty big wimp, if you couldn’t tell from the first half of this post). At least Tyler isn’t like this one guy in our class: we had to go around the room the first day and say what our expectations of the class were, and the guy’s wife said something like “to increase my confidence about birth” and her husband glared at her and said aggressively, “we want to go NATURAL. We want to learn how to go DRUG-FREE for our BABY’S sake.” And she was just quiet. I felt really, really badly for her– it’s not your body, you jerk! Let her decide for herself! What a nutjob. I do think Tyler thinks somewhat less of me because I’ve never made it any secret that I plan on getting an epidural, but at least he supports me and lets me make my own decision. (My sister-in-law has had two kids, both with four-hour labors and neither with any kind of pain medication, and I think he thinks I should be like that too, at least a little bit.)
Anyway, I’m rambling so I’d better quit. Goals for next post: sooner than two weeks from now, and to write it in the morning when I’m a happier pregnant lady!
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Sunday, January 11th, 2009
That’s a technical term, hugenormous. Learned it in med school.
To show you that I am not even a little bit kidding…
Yikes!! I’ve been having a growth spurt lately, or baby has, or whatever, but still. My belly sticks so far out in front of me that I’m starting to become afraid that I’m going to tip over when I stand up. I wake up in the middle of the night and whichever hip I’m laying on has either become numb or is in severe pain. People tell me this is from staying in one position for too long. I am not fooled… I know what this is: I have gotten so fat that my body is literally crushing itself under its own weight.
Okay seriously now. You may have noticed that the belly pics have become far less frequent… this is because I hardly recognize myself when I look in the mirror, and I don’t like it much. Yes, I know the rest of my body looks mostly the same as it used to, but I still feel like my face is puffy and my arms and legs are chubby and so on and so forth. I could obsess about it forever, but instead I choose to avoid mirrors… and cameras!
Sigh. I’ve posted about this before, and yes it’s all in a good cause, but sometimes when I’m having these growth spurts I get pretty down on how I look these days. It doesn’t help when my brother tells me things like “you shouldn’t eat so much if you don’t want to get so fat” when we’re eating lunch together. Ugh. You should never say anything like this to a hungry, hormonal pregnant woman who is only/still several weeks from her due date. It might make her cry hysterically for over a half hour, not that I did that or anything. Hrmph.
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Wednesday, January 7th, 2009
Some couples discuss names for their future children while they are still dating. Or engaged, or just married, or while they’re trying to conceive.
Unfortunately, we are not that couple.
We’re entering the home stretch of my pregnancy, but we still don’t have a name for this baby! We have a few front-runners (see polls to the right), but we probably won’t decide on the final name until we actually meet the baby. For some reason, I keep thinking that it’s wrong to give someone something as important as a name before you’ve even seen them in person. What if we settle on Andrew, and it doesn’t suit him at all, and he looks like a Ben? (Disclaimer: I do realize that brand-new newborns all look like they should be named something along the lines of… Conehead. Or, Gremlin. Monkeyface. Okay, I’m stopping.)
Tyler has decided that the perfect name for a little girl is Baena, pronounced Bay-nuh. Yes, you read that correctly, no need to go back and read it again. It’s after this genus of prehistoric turtle that he studies (Eubaena). I have nothing to say to this except: no, over my dead body, not in a billion years, no. I don’t do made-up names, and either way, we are not naming our potential daughter after a dead lizard. However, he has stubbornly referred to the baby in utero as “Baena” for so long that now I think of it as Baena too. Here’s hoping that the nickname doesn’t still stick once the baby joins us in the outside world.
So, it seems that for now we’re going to stay with Caroline Anne or Elisabeth Anne, and Benjamin Ranse or Andrew Ranse. Then we can make the final decision when the baby comes. For what it’s worth, my favorites are actually the poll winners– Caroline and Benjamin (although Andrew is Tyler’s grandfather’s name, and his health is poor, so we might end up going with Andrew for that reason if it’s a boy). It’s so hard to pick a name for a baby, though. Names are so huge… what if he or she hates the name later on? I guess you can only do your best and try not to get all crazy and trendy. I’ve always loved my name, and I want to do the same for my baby! I suspect that naming it “Baena” is not really the way to achieve that goal, though…
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Saturday, January 3rd, 2009
A couple of my college girlfriends came to visit me over the last couple of days (which was so much fun!), but now they are gone and I am here alone again with a lot of time on my hands to think… I wish Tyler would come back from New Zealand.
Anyway, here’s what’s going through my head…
It’s 2009, finally and already. I spent the last few minutes of 2008 lying in bed in the dark with my hands on my belly, feeling the baby roll around in there, and thinking about how one year ago I never, ever thought I’d be where I am. My life was so incredibly different last New Year’s. I was just married, and dental school was mostly what took up my time and energy– I was still in med school classes then. We lived in our old apartment. Babies were the last thing on our minds.
In 2008, I finished med school, we went to the Bahamas and Peru, I took the boards, I found out I was pregnant, we accepted the fact that I was pregnant, and we got excited and got ready. We moved. I developed complications and I left school temporarily. One year later, I feel like I’m a totally different person, or at least I’m in a totally different place– I’m not even in school, and we’re about to be responsible for this little person for a really, really long time, and I’m just as terrified as I ever was that I’m going to screw it all up.
I mean, in theory, I pretty much know what’s in store for me in 2009: have the baby, figure out how to be a parent somehow, get to know our baby, go back to school to finish my degree. (Or at least go back by next January… that still hasn’t been decided since the dean won’t get back to me.) But really, who knows? I thought I knew exactly what 2008 was going to be like. Hell, I thought I knew exactly what the next 5 or 10 years were going to be like. But I had no idea what was coming, and I guess you never really do.
I don’t mean for this to sound all melodramatic and depressing, because that isn’t at all how I feel. I’m excited and grateful for our baby, even if I’m kind of nervous about how I’ll handle things. My main worry is that I won’t achieve my goals when it comes to my career, because even though I’m very motivated to go back and finish up (and then start working, because staying at home full-time has never been something I wanted to do), I feel scared that it won’t happen, because if there’s anything 2008 has taught me, it’s that your life isn’t necessarily always in your own hands. Is this new person, who we are somehow already in love with even though we’ve never met him or her, going to make me change my mind? I do still want to be a dentist so badly…
Anyway, I watched the clock click past midnight and hugged my belly and told the baby “I can’t wait to meet you this year” before going to sleep. Whatever happens, I know that if we do things out of love, it will all work out. Now if Tyler would just come home…
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Wednesday, December 31st, 2008
Well, the nursery isn’t completely finished, but it won’t be until after my shower on February 1, so I thought I’d post some mostly-done pictures. We’re in love with it… it’s the only room in the apartment where everything matches! Sorry the pictures look so gloomy. It’s snowing here yet again, but I promise it’s a bright and happy yellow room when the sun shines in!
This is the view from the door.
The wonderful big (and usually very sunny) window!
My nursing glider… I sit in it once in awhile just to look around the room. I made that lampshade, by the way, out of an extra valence that came with the bedding set. (It was a plain white lampshade before.) The little table is just temporary– Tyler’s dad is building us one to match the rest of our nursery furniture.
Changing table with quilt hanging above it and diaper stacker. I found that fold-up travel swing on the right at a yard sale for ridiculously cheap. Actually, everything in this room came from a yard sale except the changing table and glider.
And the crib! The thing hanging on it is a playmat that I made by cutting up the bumper that came with our bedding set. I’m too paranoid to use the bumper since there have been all those studies that show they may increase the risk of SIDS, so we have the breathable mesh kind on there instead. I didn’t want to waste the cute bumper, though! I left the ties on the ends to tie rattles and toys to so they don’t get away from the baby while it’s playing.
So there it is… our bumblebee nursery. It has a bookshelf on another wall that’s already filling up with baby books, and a nice big walk-in closet too, which we are in the process of organizing. I love it!!
A quick update on other things: the contractions are somewhat better, I think resting has helped a lot. I still constantly feel like I’m in early labor, though, so that is… exhausting. Tyler is in New Zealand (!) for the next two and a half weeks, on a trip with some other geology and paleontology students. I’m really jealous (and pretty lonely and bored), but he’ll be back soon enough. It’s weird– he’s been planning this trip for so long that I always think of it as “sometime a long time from now, Tyler will go to New Zealand, and then after that we’ll have the baby.” And now he’s there, so that means baby is coming really soon! Ack! Nine weeks until my due date is not a very long time… here’s hoping baby stays put for at least another six.
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