Transitions, Adjustments, and One Tired Single Mama

Well, we’re all moved in up here in Massachusetts, and it’s safe to say it’s been… quite the adjustment for Caroline.

We’re pretty much unpacked, which helps some.  I made sure that her room was completely set up the first day I moved, before my parents even brought her to the new place, to give her some sense of stability.

I got the rest of the house set up as quickly as I could for the nanny, who started with two 12-hour days immediately after we moved in.  Sigh… I think that was a mistake on my part.  The house was in a state of chaos, the days were long, and they had only met each other once before.  I should have done half days at work or something rather than my usual 11-hour Monday and Tuesday.  By Tuesday afternoon, Caroline was a mess, and I had to hand off my 6:00 patient to one of the other doctors so that I could come home early.  After two days at home with me, she was better, but it’s still just… a lot to handle.  She’s insecure, going through a lot of transitions, and no nanny in the world, no matter how awesome, is going to take the place of her mom right now.

At least having the nanny start immediately after a move has set the bar pretty low for my housekeeping (or lack thereof) for the rest of the summer.  (Silver lining?)

All in all… I’m happy to be here, and to be starting out on our new life, but… I am tired, you guys.  I just started a new job, Caroline is so clingy and freaked out by the move that the only time I really have had to unpack is after she’s in bed, so it’s been slow going and I haven’t sat down in about a week.  My feet are so swollen that I only have a couple of pairs of shoes I can wear, and she doesn’t sleep much at night so she’s either thrashing around in my bed with me, or running screaming down the hall to my room because she wakes up and doesn’t know where she is.

My bedroom, of course, is the only part of the house that’s a wreck at this point.  I’ll get to it when I get to it.  My room, and my feet, and in general my sanity, are the least of my worries right now.

I repeat.  I am tired.  I have no help– my parents are in Ireland, Tyler is gone, and I can’t possibly ask the nanny to do more than I already do.

Once we’re completely set up, and she’s adjusted, it will be fine.  It will be pretty much perfect.  I have an amazing job and a paycheck and awesome coworkers and a great new place to live.  We’ve just got to get through this transition period… and I need to sit down, and sleep for more than 45 minutes at a stretch.  Which I will do.  Sometime.  Soon.

Any advice on helping a child adjust to a new home, state, childcare situation, diet, father who’s moved away, and/or all of the above, would be much appreciated.

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  1. by Karen

    On July 22, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    I was wondering how you were doing. Soon enough you’ll back and laugh at how crazy the situation you’re in now is. Until then, drink wine! :)

  2. by Caroline

    On July 23, 2012 at 3:27 am

    I think you just have to keep going. Just keep doing what you are doing. Caroline will get there I think you just have to keep things as consistent as you possibly can just now and try not to get out of the good routines you have already established in her life. Allow her to let out her fears etc.
    But of course you cannot do all these things if you are not getting rest so please try and fit that in too. If anything has to give a little let it be the housekeeping. You have so much going on. Feed and clothe the two of you and let everything else slide for just now. So glad you are choosing to focus on the positives and everything else will fall into place – eventually. Thanks for updating us too.

  3. by Heather Morgan Shott

    On July 23, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    My husband worked out of town Monday-Friday for a year, and I dealt with total craziness at home with Mason and a full-time job. I learned that in order to keep my sanity I needed to give myself one hour a night when I could sit down and read a book, watch a TV show, or drink a glass of wine. That hour was 10 to 11, and it made all the difference. No matter how much was going on, my hard stop was 10, and I really felt refreshed afterward. Try it–you’ll be amazed how much it helps.

  4. by Julia

    On July 25, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    Thanks ladies. It’s gotten a lot better. Just had to get through that first terrible week, I guess! We’re hanging in there…

  5. by Boston Mom

    On July 27, 2012 at 8:48 pm

    As I read your blog, I was thinking… pour yourself a glass of wine put your feet up (on the boxes, lol) and watch some mindless tv. The house and boxes can wait. I always think of the concept on airplanes… place the mask on yourself first so you can better assist your child :)
    When my daughter was three, we moved across country, it was a big, stressful transition, but in time everything settled down. You are so inspirational, Julia. Keep that postive forward-looking attitude of yours. I wish you and Caroline a wonderful new life in MA! Deep cleansing breaths. And be patient with yourself, it will get done.

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