So lately I’m scrambling to get my life together for the next year-ish plus, including but not limited to:
1) Finding a job (or several part-time jobs) in private practice,
2) Finding a new apartment,
3) Finding a new preschool,
4) Sorting out the latest complicated situation in my personal life, which for once I don’t feel like discussing here (hey, there’s a first time for everything, right?),
5) Not attending the purse party (this one was critical), and
6) Figuring out a plan for long-distance visitation, since Tyler is moving to D.C. and Caroline and I are staying here in New England.
Yep… lots of changes happening around here.
I have several interviews and prospects lined up for number one, numbers two and three are dependent on the location of number one, number four is just depressing me and you’d probably all judge me for it anyway, number five is very much completed, and number six is undetermined right now. Which is where you people come in.
Tyler and I have always known we would eventually have to figure out some kind of plan for long-distance visitation. He is a paleontologist, and there are very few job openings for that, so he will likely always live far away from us. He’ll be going from postdoc to postdoc for a number of years, but once he settles down permanently, I’ll consider relocating to where he is for Caroline’s sake.
Until then, I have no idea how to work this– try to stick to the current every-other-weekend schedule? Figure out several longer periods of visitation, spaced farther out over time? Who will be responsible for traveling with her, and how will we work out who covers what? I don’t want to just leave it up to him and not have a plan, because I’m pretty sure he’ll slowly fade out of Caroline’s life… and they’ve gotten so much closer lately, and it’s been so good for her.
(Selfish full-disclosure time: it’s not just about Caroline. I’ll admit that I’m freaking out a bit about the potential of going back to the solo parenting gig, because that was a tough road. I love my daughter, but she is quite the handful at this age and I need a little bit of a break. My parents are fantastic and will always help me out, but Caroline needs her father, too, and he has responsibilities that he should be fulfilling no matter where he lives. So, we need a plan.)
Any suggestions? How do you and your ex handle long-distance coparenting? And if one of you moved and you changed your visitation schedule drastically, did you actually modify your court order, or just work it out between you two as a verbal agreement?