In Which I Delegate My Personal Life

It has been brought to my attention that whenever I attempt to date, I turn into a magnet for The Crazy.  (See here and here.  Oh, and here.  One more…  here.)

I mean, I can’t really complain too much.  I’m moving away this summer, so there is little point in entering into an actual relationship.  (Though you’ve got to admit that it does make for entertaining blog material.)  But I do find it frustrating that no matter what I do or how I meet these guys, I always manage to end up in Crazytown.

But hold that pity party for just a minute.  I was thinking about it the other day and realized that this scenario sounded awfully familiar.  In fact, I had a friend in college with the exact same problem.  She used to sit me down in the dining hall and go on and on about how every single guy she’s ever dated has been a total nutjob, and I would smile and nod but couldn’t help but think, “obviously not every guy in the world can be crazy, my dear.  The one thing all these guys have in common is you.  Either you’re the crazy one, or you just pick all the wrong guys, and in either case, the problem is not them.  It’s you.”

So, fine.  I get it, b*tchy college me.  The problem is me.  I pick the crazy ones.  I can own it.

Based on this philosophy, my best friend decided to take matters into her own hands and scour the internet for the perfect men for me.  Whenever she finds a good one, she helpfully emails me a link so I can check out the dude.  I thought you guys might enjoy seeing the lineup.

Ready or not, here they are: my future blog subjects dates.

The more baby mamas, the better… right?

Wait, no, it’s “the more arrests, the better”.

This one loves kids!  Or just their money.  Potato, potahto.

It’s important to have similar views on parenting and discipline.

If he’s not crazy anymore, I will literally eat my shoe.

What do you guys think?  Any of them worth a shot?  I mean, all of these guys have to be at least 85% less crazy than some of the ones I’ve already dated, right?

On second thought, maybe I’d better reconsider turning over the reins of my personal life to this particular friend… (Love you, babe.)

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  1. by jaclyn

    On March 10, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    I used to date the wrong men. It took a long time for me to break those habits. I had to take long breaks from dating, and analyze each of my relationships to see why they didn’t work. And then I had to identify the red flags that I missed at the start of the relationship so I wouldn’t miss them in the future. It was a really long process that took me 10 years and a lot of energy (although it might be faster or easier with therapy).

    It is really hard to break those patterns, and you should give yourself credit for even identifying them (think of how many people don’t and just keep repeating the same mistake over and over again without realizing it). BEst of luck to you.

  2. by M F

    On March 19, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    so whats your definition of crazy?? :)