Holiday Gifts For (Almost) Every Parent

Christmas is almost here!  If you haven’t yet finished your shopping, it’s getting down to the wire.  I would know.  I haven’t started.  I think that at this point, my only option is to fake my own kidnapping.  Anyone have a basement I can hide in?

Just in case you’re like me and you put things off till the last minute, and you have some parents on your list of people to buy for, and you have no idea what to get them, don’t worry.  You’re in luck.  I’m here to save the day!

Here’s my list of holiday gifts for (almost) any parent:

1. The gift of the gift card.  I don’t know about you guys, but whenever I have a little extra cash, I feel like it should really go toward something my child needs or wants, rather than toward something for me.  We don’t often get to shop for ourselves, and when we do, it can come with an unwelcome side of guilt.  What I wouldn’t give for something like a little prepaid credit card to an adult clothing or jewelry store, free money that’s impossible to spend on anyone but myself… oh, wait, they do make those?  I’ll take seven…teen.

2. The gift of not getting their kids a noisy gift.  You know the kind I mean.  Drum sets.  Loud, beeping electronic toys.  In case you’ve already gotten something like this, it’s okay!  All is not lost!  Just don’t give the kid the batteries.  I know, I know, you’re trying to be considerate, because nothing comes with batteries included.  But I’ll let you in on a little secret: we parents don’t want the batteries.  We don’t!  We just want to pretend that that toy was never designed to make any noise, ever.  If our kids are under five, they probably won’t figure it out.

3. The gift of time away from our kids.  I’m probably supposed to be all happy and friendly and whatnot in a holiday post, but this is a reality here, people.  We parents are tired.  Especially us single ones.  By the time the holidays are over, we are all set with the crying and the temper tantrums and the 24/7 time with the kids.  We need a spa day.  Yup, the men too.  Extra points if there’s booze involved.

4. The practical gift.  Something we need or would make our lives easier, but don’t have the cash to get for ourselves, especially after the holidays.  This kind of gift can range from gas cards to a GPS to babysitting services to the thing that HSD got me for Christmas and I am technologically stupid so I don’t know what it’s called, but it plays DVDs and Netflix and other stuff from the internet on my TV rather than my computer, so I can keep Caro entertained while I cook or whatever (and it lets me watch my stuff after she goes to bed, too!)

5. The totally unnecessary but awesome splurge that we’d never get for ourselves.  This one goes back to the shopping-for-ourselves guilt.  I love getting presents that I’d never dream of going out and buying, but are things that I want anyway.  Like perfume, or jewelry, or a great bottle of wine.  (Okay, wine is not considered to be unnecessary, at least in my house, but I’m making a point here).  The only catch is, it can’t involve our kids at all– no photography sessions or anything like that.  It has to just be about us.

6. The gift of taking my kid for a week and returning her fully potty trained.  Oh, that’s not a real thing?  Well it should be.  It’s a great business idea!  You can have it.  For free.  Let me know when your services become available.

What do you parents out there think?  Anything I missed?  Leave suggestions in the comments!

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  1. by Katie H

    On December 21, 2011 at 11:35 am

    I have many times offered to pay someone to potty train B. No takers so far lol

  2. by alisha

    On December 21, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    Ok as far as the potty training goes, Put a sticker inside of the potty, Let the kid pick it, then when they potty in their pant remind them about the potty sticker, or…… (we live in the woods,) Let them pee on the tree outside.

  3. by alisha

    On December 21, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    Ok as far as the potty training goes, Put a sticker inside of the potty, Let the kid pick it, then when they potty in their pants remind them about the potty sticker, or…… (we live in the woods,) Let them pee on the tree outside.

  4. by Erinn

    On December 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    I like #2. That is my favorite. Can I have about twelve of those?

  5. by Ev

    On December 21, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    Paying all or part of a large bill like the cable/internet service or power bill! I think this is especially a great gift for adult children to give to a senior parent.I overheard a lady in the post office telling the clerk her son pays her oil heating bill for the coldest 4 months of winter. Practical and thoughtful!