Conversation With a 2 1/2-Year-Old
Alternate title: Talking With My Two Year Old Makes Me Feel Like I’m On Heavy Medication And/Or Makes Me Wish I Had Some. (It seemed a little long.)
The following is a transcript of an actual real-life, no-joke conversation I had with Caroline today:
Caro (running around like a madwoman and crashing into things): I run! I run in the house! I run down the hall! Mommy! I run and run and RUN!!
Me: You most certainly do run and run. Let’s go play outside.
Caro: No. We HAVE to stay inside.
Caro: (disgustedly) Because there’s too many trees out there. You can’t get under them.
Caro: Look! The kitty! He is looking outside at all the trees. Hi kitty!
Me: Let’s go outside and play.
Caro: No, Mommy, I can’t play with you. I can’t play with you because I gettin’ too big.
Me: What? You can’t? That makes me sad.
Caro: (consolingly) There’s nothing to be scared about Mommy. I gettin’ big.
Me: (somewhat desperately) Why don’t we just go outside? How about you ride your bike.
Caro: My hair is in a braid!
Me: Yes, I see that. Let’s go ride bikes now.
Caro: No. That not fun.
Me: Let’s go play with chalk then.
(Two seconds pass.)
Caro: No! I no like chalk! I want to ride my bike. It’s fun.
Me: Okay here are your Crocs, let’s go.
Caro: I like yogurt.
Caro: I hungry Mommy!! I wanna snack! I have yogurt? I need yogurt!!!
Me: I thought we were going outside?
Caro: I HUNGRY!! I HUNGRY!! YOGURT, I NEEEEED IT!! I WILL HAVE IT!! (temper tantrum ensues)
Me: Okay, okay. (Gets out yogurt, spoon, bowl, buckles her into booster seat) Here’s some yogurt.
Caro: I no want it. YUCK. YOGURT. I no like it. We go outside now?
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