Conversation With a 2 1/2-Year-Old

Alternate title: Talking With My Two Year Old Makes Me Feel Like I’m On Heavy Medication And/Or Makes Me Wish I Had Some.  (It seemed a little long.)

The following is a transcript of an actual real-life, no-joke conversation I had with Caroline today:

Caro (running around like a madwoman and crashing into things): I run!  I run in the house!  I run down the hall!  Mommy!  I run and run and RUN!!

Me: You most certainly do run and run.  Let’s go play outside.

Caro: No.  We HAVE to stay inside.

Me: Why?

Caro: (disgustedly) Because there’s too many trees out there.  You can’t get under them.

Me: …What?

Caro: Look!  The kitty!  He is looking outside at all the trees.  Hi kitty!

Me: Let’s go outside and play.

Caro: No, Mommy, I can’t play with you.  I can’t play with you because I gettin’ too big.

Me: What?  You can’t?  That makes me sad.

Caro: (consolingly) There’s nothing to be scared about Mommy.  I gettin’ big.

Me: (somewhat desperately) Why don’t we just go outside?  How about you ride your bike.

Caro: My hair is in a braid!

Me: Yes, I see that.  Let’s go ride bikes now.

Caro: No.  That not fun.

Me: Let’s go play with chalk then.

Caro: Okay.

(Two seconds pass.)

Caro: No!  I no like chalk!  I want to ride my bike.  It’s fun.

Me: Okay here are your Crocs, let’s go.

Caro: I like yogurt.

Me: What?

Caro: I hungry Mommy!!  I wanna snack!  I have yogurt?  I need yogurt!!!

Me: I thought we were going outside?

Caro:  I HUNGRY!! I HUNGRY!!  YOGURT, I NEEEEED IT!!  I WILL HAVE IT!!  (temper tantrum ensues)

Me: Okay, okay.  (Gets out yogurt, spoon, bowl, buckles her into booster seat)  Here’s some yogurt.

Caro: I no want it.  YUCK.  YOGURT.  I no like it.  We go outside now?

Sigh…

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  1. by May (Amy)

    On September 26, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    This is so cute. My son is almost just the same except he doesn’t talk yet. But his few words that he can say is just like Caroline. For example my son will want this kind of cereal and then change his mind and say he wants his SpongeBob yogurt and then no he doesn’t like either. I can feel your frustration when it comes to getting down what our two year olds want. :)

  2. by Lindsay

    On October 1, 2011 at 9:45 am

    That sounds just like my kids when I’m trying to talk to them…all of a sudden they’ll say these random things out of the blue, and I’m just thinking “Wtf??”

  3. by Cynthia Jeanne

    On October 1, 2011 at 9:49 am

    lmao! I am seriously cracking up, This could have been writen by me, about my Breanna Shane, she is almost 2.5 yrs old! I had to read this story to my husband, Brees daddy, he to cracked up!actually makes you feel more at ease that she is not the only one. She is right this second getting in a cabinet laughing saying I open the cabinet, and laughing saying I funny!

  4. by Cynthia Jeanne

    On October 1, 2011 at 9:51 am

    might I ad she is my 5th child, my children range in age from 16 down to 2.5. She is by far my most humorous.

  5. by MamaFuss

    On October 1, 2011 at 9:55 am

    Sounds like my house, only my daughter is 3 1/2. Unfortunately, it takes awhile to get better.

  6. by dalia

    On October 1, 2011 at 10:03 am

    It’s so refreshing to hear someone else’s child saying and doing the same thing as my two boys. Thanks for the laugh : )

  7. by Cara

    On October 1, 2011 at 10:13 am

    Are you sure you weren’t in my house???? I think I had that same conversation with T about 2 days ago. This morning, “Mommy, I want more your breakfast.” “T, I am not making more. YOu already had a bowl of cereal and half of my breakfast. You do not need anymore right now.” “I think there is a witch by my pool! Go way scary witch! Oh, that just my chair. Hahahahaha!” “T, do you want to play puzzles?” “Nope, I want to vaccum you room.”
    Don’t you just love them!!!!!

  8. by Kimberly

    On October 1, 2011 at 10:26 am

    My daughter started saying, Love you (pause) Mom at the age of 20 months. Now my daughter just turned 2, 2 months ago with the same conversation but she is always asking, Why? Why Mom? She is very good with talking she has 5 to 6 word sentences of course always ending with Why? Mom? Why? And she is really comprehending a lot of our conversations. When she says Yes, she doesn’t say yah…It’s YES.

  9. by Larissa Venhaus

    On October 1, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    I was laughing so hard at this! This sounds just like the conversations I have with my 2 yr old princess! LOL
    Your script gave me the idea of cataloguing some of our chats and keep it for posterity! :)

  10. by Carla Slamiar

    On October 1, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    I love this! I have a not quite 3 yo Caroline. We do this kind of thing all day long, too.

  11. by amanda gilbreath

    On October 1, 2011 at 10:36 pm

    My 2 1/2 year old dos this to me every day and I do not understand why 2 1/2 year olds stand there and say ‘no’ all the time.

  12. by Jamie

    On October 2, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    My daughter never went through this. She talked well & always said exactly what she meant. This would have driven me nuts! I was so lucky:)