I’m Breaking Up With Reese Witherspoon

Confession: I have kind of a thing for celebrity gossip.  I love trashy tabloids and the rumors and the fashion and the way they live in a totally different world than the rest of us ordinary human beings.  And now that I’ve told you this, I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you.

I’ve always loved Reese Witherspoon.  I don’t really know why.  I guess because she always seems to have it so together, and she seems really smart and serious about her work.  (Plus she’s so cute.)  So of course when a story about her came up on my beloved People.com today, I clicked.

Reese Witherspoon: I’m Relieved to be Remarried

So, listen, Reese.  I don’t know how you feel about it, but personally I’ve always felt like there was something kind of special between us.  Like we get each other.  Know what I’m saying?  But after I’ve read this article, I’m afraid we’re going to have to break up.

“Until I got remarried, I don’t think I realized how stressed I was,” she says.  ”I don’t think I recognized how anxious I was about being a single parent… now I feel a great sense of relief.”

Seriously?

You were my strong-woman role model, Reese!  What are you talking about?  Since the decision to divorce bothered you so much, there must have been good reasons behind it and you must have ultimately decided it was best for your children.  What’s so wrong with being a single parent?  If there was any celebrity who could hack it, I thought it was you and now you tell me that you’re just relieved to be remarried?  Phew!  Your kids will be okay after all!  Put away the Ben & Jerry’s!  There’s a man in the picture!  Thank God!

Let’s not ignore the fact that it couldn’t be the day-to-day practicalities of being a single mom that bothered her.  Although I am well-acquainted with them myself, I’m not a celebrity who can afford all kinds of nannies and cleaning ladies and hired help.  She didn’t have to do everything alone.

I mean, I guess I get it.  Single parenting is hard and it’s certainly not for everyone.  I just hate to see a message like this out there from a woman who I had previously seen as one of the best celebrity examples of women who’ve got it all together and really didn’t need a man to make them feel complete.  Couldn’t she have said something like, “I love my husband and am happy with my new family, but my time as a single mom really helped me grow as a person and care for my children independently and realize how strong I was?”

Well, to each their own, Reese.  You say what you need to say.  But I definitely won’t watching Legally Blonde again for at least a year.  Six months.  (Tops.)

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  1. by Michelle

    On September 7, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    @NokomisMichelle on twitter-

    She’s being honest. I respect her more for it. And in acknowledging how stressed she was she acknowledges the daily battles and obstacles of single moms everywhere. Reese has the assets to “Murphy Brown” single mom it. She has the money and influence to help with the technical stuff. But how can you be a single mom and forget about the emotional burdens? The nights alone without someone to hold you. The moments when your children are nailing you and backing you into a corner with their back talk or indifference and there is no one their to have your back. Sure, it’s fortifying. Sure, it’s character building. BUT- it’s also GOD DAMN LONELY. I’ve been doing it for 11 years and you know what? I don’t feel the least bit weakened or unsubstantiated by admitting, I don’t want to do it all by myself. And If I could find a good man that would love me and my child and be a positive part of both our lives, then HALLELUJAH, please God and the great universe bring him to us! We want him, welcome him, and damn it- NEED him. It is no slap to the face of feminism to admit that life is better and fuller with a loving mate by your side. Loosen up. And enjoy Legally Blond.
    P.S.- I blogged about this sort of stress just the other day. Here is the link:
    http://nokomis-daughterofthemoon.blogspot.com/2011/09/help-as-good-as-it-gets.html

  2. by Lauren

    On September 7, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    Yeah Julia. You don’t know her lyfe.

  3. by Kristin

    On September 7, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    I am shocked by her point of view also. For what it’s worth- being a single mom isn’t a FRACTION as stressful, panic-attack-inducing, or horrible as living in the situation I was in pre-divorce. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say my life post-divorce as a single parent is like a tropical vacation every single day in comparison. She makes herself sound like a total flake.

  4. by Sara

    On September 7, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    As a child of divorced parents and a new mom myself (but not a single mom), I’d cut Reese a some slack. She didn’t say she regretted her divorce. She didn’t say she and her kids were worse off while she was a single mom than while she was married to her first husband. She said she was hard on herself and stressed out during that time and is relieved that things are going so well now.

    My mom lived through that experience as well. She decided to leave my dad for reasons of some basic relationship incompatibilities when I was 6yrs old. I don’t think she regrets that decision. Yet, her few years of single motherhood were really hard and stressful on her and on me (and probably on my little sister). I also know she felt an enormous burden lifted off when she married my stepfather. Part of it was financial (prob not an issue for Reese), but part of it was having a co-parenting partner who loved her kids, and who turned out to be a way more present & giving father than our biological one. Not to mention the her being happy in a healthy relationship part.

    Getting to co-parent with someone else doesn’t mean she was less than when she was a single parent (or that you are, or that Reese was), but it was more stressful. She did the best she could, and she sure did a lot, and I never doubted how much she loved me and put us kids first. Oh, but I am also so glad she married such a wonderful person the second time around! My parents’ marriage, my parents separation/divorce, and the following years were all stressful on me. My mom’s remarriage brought us all some serious stress relief and happiness.

  5. by Kristen

    On September 7, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    Julia-I whole-heartedly agree with you!!

  6. by Julia

    On September 7, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    No, I see what you mean, ladies. I still maintain, though, that isn’t the negative message about single parenting that I’d like to see broadcast by a celebrity who is a former sister-in-arms (you know, single mom). I mean, her opinion is her opinion and if you read this blog regularly you know that I value honesty above all else. So it is what it is.

    But this is my immediate, gut reaction to reading an interview that basically says, whew! I’m so glad I don’t have to live your life anymore!… referring to a life that I chose and that I love. Eventually, would I like to coparent with someone with whom I have a healthy relationship? Sure, probably, if I find the right person. But that doesn’t mean I will look back on my years as a single mom as something that was nothing but stressful, or wasted time, or of less value, or a “relief” to escape, or whatever she is implying.

    Besides, it’s kinda funny, right? Come on… you know it’s a little funny. :)

  7. by Alana

    On September 8, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    I don’t know how I feel about this. Its highly likely that she said she felt relieved, and the magazine made the headline “Relieved to be remarried.” I mean, she didn’t say that in the quotes, and who the HELL says that? Especially someone who is a millionaire. Unlikely.

    But I think its fine for her to have said that she feels relief. I don’t think thats a displaced emotion. She didn’t realize how stressful single parenting was until she was remarried. Not crazy to me.

  8. by Jennifer

    On September 11, 2011 at 3:46 am

    I’m a single mom of eight years, and it’s been this way my Childsupport whole life. I don’t know any different, I do know how good it makes me feel to wake up everyday to a child that doesn’t put stress on me. In saying this, as strong as being a “single parent” has made me I wish to one day meet someone who will love the both of us. I don’t put myself out there so I don’t see it happening anytime soon, and it’s not a priority at the moment either. I hate when others make being a “single parent” sound like it’s some disease or something horrible. I’m loving the special bond that my daughter and I have, and we make eachother happy. Yes, there are days when it is lonely without a husband, but if I focused on those few days I would be miserable too. I stay positive and feel very lucky to say that no only am I a parent but a proud

  9. by tbodeen

    On September 11, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    Keep in mind just dating has an inpact on your childrens life. I can imagine its a relief for her not to have to be a parent trying to date. Especially since everything she does is in the news.

  10. by Jilly

    On October 4, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    Well, single parenting is difficult and stressful because it’s not how things are supposed to be. People have different reactions to the situation and although some single moms are looking for validation and are constantly trying to prove to everyone and themselves that they are just as good as couples parenting, some realize that they are a better parent with another person there. I don’t know how you can begrudge Reese (and I’m not a fan, by the way)for being honest about how she felt. Is it because she reminded you of what you are trying to make yourself forget, that while one good parent is better than one good and one bad in the same house, two parents are still better?

  11. by AFB

    On October 4, 2011 at 6:59 pm

    I totally saw your humor. I also was surprised Reese made that statement just because she rarely says anything on her personal life. And through her movies Reese has always played the cute but smart follow your heart kind of gal. So we do think of her as Elle Woods! (Love that movie!)

    But if you really want to analyze the Reese situation – you have to look at the whole complicated story. She was married very young because she was pregnant. Her husband cheated on her throughout their whole marriage. After their divorce he catted around with lots of women. Just recently got a very young actress pregnant(denied paternity at first). Reese dated Jake, who is rumored to be very immature (and who right after Reese dated the very young 20 year old Taylor Swift) — so she probably is relieved to have finally just found a decent guy who is going to treat her and her kids right without all the Hollywood BS! I guess I would be relieved too.

  12. by Cristian

    On October 4, 2011 at 9:02 pm

    I think that is a problem that is present everywhere. Not only in her statement. Everything and everyone tells you there’s nothing better than having someone at your side (except Axe ads). There is no movie that shows the single guy/girl being happy staying single. They always have to realize they “are missing something” in their lives. “There’s no happiness in singleship”, that’s what they preach.

    I’m not only against Reese, I’m against every chick-flick, song and book writer that have nothing better to do that just take the safe road and sell all that people, who never tried to face singleship, their word: Being alone sucks, get someone to your side and be happy.

    Is not Reese, is not Julia criticizing her… is the system. As it is created for people to believe they need to buy stuff they don’t need at all… it makes peple think singleship is failure.

    …pfff… I could keep on going for hours.

  13. by Chipy

    On March 3, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    Reese’s opinion is hers based on her life and her experiences. Maybe some bloggers would be best served looking at all angles of an opinion before attacking someone else’s?

    We live our lives based on our experiences and knowledge. I am happy that Reese found happiness. She is still a strong woman who has great qualities. She is also human and has faults.

    Let’s start remembering that actors are still people
    : there isn’t one of us on the planet that has it all figured out, yet!

  14. by cillyone

    On June 26, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    As a single parent to twin daughters I respect her honesty with the difficulties presented to one parent families. She wasn’t bashing single parents simply stating the fact that for her it was stressful. I couldn’t agree more as it has been for me as well. When I was married it was nice to share the load of the many issues, duties, chores and parenting that come with being a family. Having to take on all of these responsibilities single handedly has been extremely tiresome and challenging to say the least.

    Good Lord, please allow someone to voice their opinion based on their personal experience.

  15. by kat

    On August 18, 2012 at 5:59 am

    She has found a wonderful man to share her life with. Grow up and stop criticising her for it.

  16. by KateTaylor

    On September 1, 2012 at 10:22 am

    Actually, and I’m speaking as someone that has raised a daughter for 10 years alone ( I wouldn’t be in a relationship that wasn’t the RIGHT relationship) while pursuing multiple degrees and caring for a dying parent ~ and now having found the love of my life and about to give birth to our son in a few weeks at 42 …. (one of those degrees is a Masters in Psychology in Early childhood Development, by the way) – I don’t care how awesome you are, you can NEVER give your children both sides of the complete nurturing they need. You are either wired as a nurturer or a disciplinarian. I don’t care if you’re two mommies, two daddies or a traditional household but if you think you’re providing your kids with a whole environment to grow into well-adjusted adults with just one parent trying to do both jobs, you’re deluding yourself. Throw in to the mix that 3/4 of the day is spent working or doing chores or running errands and there’s NO WAY one parent is enough … Yes, it’s going to have to be “good enough” if you’re not lucky enough to find the right partner – but don’t kid yourself that it’s the ideal.