I’m Breaking Up With Reese Witherspoon
Confession: I have kind of a thing for celebrity gossip. I love trashy tabloids and the rumors and the fashion and the way they live in a totally different world than the rest of us ordinary human beings. And now that I’ve told you this, I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you.
I’ve always loved Reese Witherspoon. I don’t really know why. I guess because she always seems to have it so together, and she seems really smart and serious about her work. (Plus she’s so cute.) So of course when a story about her came up on my beloved People.com today, I clicked.
So, listen, Reese. I don’t know how you feel about it, but personally I’ve always felt like there was something kind of special between us. Like we get each other. Know what I’m saying? But after I’ve read this article, I’m afraid we’re going to have to break up.
“Until I got remarried, I don’t think I realized how stressed I was,” she says. ”I don’t think I recognized how anxious I was about being a single parent… now I feel a great sense of relief.”
You were my strong-woman role model, Reese! What are you talking about? Since the decision to divorce bothered you so much, there must have been good reasons behind it and you must have ultimately decided it was best for your children. What’s so wrong with being a single parent? If there was any celebrity who could hack it, I thought it was you and now you tell me that you’re just relieved to be remarried? Phew! Your kids will be okay after all! Put away the Ben & Jerry’s! There’s a man in the picture! Thank God!
Let’s not ignore the fact that it couldn’t be the day-to-day practicalities of being a single mom that bothered her. Although I am well-acquainted with them myself, I’m not a celebrity who can afford all kinds of nannies and cleaning ladies and hired help. She didn’t have to do everything alone.
I mean, I guess I get it. Single parenting is hard and it’s certainly not for everyone. I just hate to see a message like this out there from a woman who I had previously seen as one of the best celebrity examples of women who’ve got it all together and really didn’t need a man to make them feel complete. Couldn’t she have said something like, “I love my husband and am happy with my new family, but my time as a single mom really helped me grow as a person and care for my children independently and realize how strong I was?”
Well, to each their own, Reese. You say what you need to say. But I definitely won’t watching Legally Blonde again for at least a year. Six months. (Tops.)