Visitation Is My Momcation

Tyler and his mom did end up coming to visit Caroline this week.  The three of them are staying at my parents’ house (in what has got to be the awkward situation of the century) while I go about my life for one Caroline-less week.

It is bizarre, really.  She hasn’t been with Tyler for even one night since April, so I had forgotten what it was like to live without her.  My apartment is clean and quiet.  I don’t have to rush home from school to pick her up from daycare and cook and feed her and bathe her and get her to bed.  I don’t have to get up during the night and I don’t have to get up before six.  I can stay late at work if I need to, I can work out whenever I want, and eat whatever and go out with friends.  I can actually be out of my apartment after 7:00 pm.  I’m… a free woman.

I kind of hate it.

Well, okay, full disclosure– I don’t hate it.  For a couple of days, it is a huge relief to have a break from my hectic working single mom lifestyle.  Catching up on sleep and work and time with friends is awesome.  But after that… I miss her.  Your child is a part of your life and your home and your heart.  ”Mommy” becomes a huge part of your identity, of who you are.  When your child is not around, you are missing a part of yourself.

Honestly, it makes me wonder how Tyler lives without her all the time.  I miss her terribly and it’s only been half of the week.  (He’s just here until Thursday, but then I’m on call Friday and Saturday so she’ll stay with my parents until Sunday.)  I suppose we have always had very different priorities in that respect…

But all of this is just a part of coparenting.  I could mope around and whine about how I miss her.  Or, I could make the most of my “momcation” to do all the things that I miss out on while I am busy single-mom’ing it.  And I can be grateful that she is getting to spend some time with her father, and hopefully they are bonding.  I feel a little guilty about going out and having fun and enjoying my “freedom”… but I can’t change that she has to spend this time away from me.  I might as well try to make the most of it.

She needs her dad, and I need a break.  Soon enough she’ll be back here with me.  And the time spent apart, as always, will make for a very happy reunion for both of us.

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  1. by Amanda

    On July 26, 2011 at 11:36 pm

    Very well said! I always enjoy the first 24 hours of my mom-cation…but then I’m ready to have her back!! yay for you getting some “me” time!! And your daughter getting some daddy time!

  2. by Erinn

    On July 30, 2011 at 12:52 am

    OK I know this post is a few days old, I am catching up on my blog reading, but the part where you say “I kind of hate it” I literally LAUGHED OUT LOUD. I was reading the whole first paragraph thinking to myself of the rare instances I have been child-less, I hate it!!! I beg and plead for “time off” of Mommy duty, and yet as much as we want it, we hate it when we get it!!

    …Try to hang in there…


  3. by Kathie Camp

    On July 31, 2011 at 11:56 am

    I just found your blog from my Parents mag, and this post made me want to write because I can so relate! My ex and I have a 2-2-3 schedule and on the days he has the girls for the 3 days, after day 2, I truly miss them and feel at a loss on what to do with my free time. The first two days are a nice break, but it’s natural to miss them!

    My girls are ages 7 and almost 5 and when I have them, it’s a lot of work, so it is nice to have my mom-cation!

  4. by Melanie

    On August 1, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    This is EXACTLY how I feel it’s it’s only for a few hours every weekend. I relish the hours for getting things done or just taking a shower longer than 3 minutes. But I miss him after a while and can’t wait to see him again.