Liar, Liar

You ever notice how brutally honest toddlers are?

Caroline definitely never sugarcoats anything, and I’m sure she isn’t the only toddler who is this way.  I find it hilarious that little kids couldn’t care less about telling fibs or white lies.

They never bother to spare your feelings about anything– they just lay it all out there and tell it like it is.  For example, one morning I went to pick Caroline up out of her crib.  She took one look at my squinty-eyed 6am face and messy hair and commanded, “Mommy, brush hair and put on makeups!”  Ouch, Caroline.  That’s my ego you’re stepping on, there.

On the other hand, they’re always blatantly honest about anything they have done or are doing wrong.  I was cooking dinner one evening and Caroline ran into the kitchen out of nowhere, bear-hugged my leg, looked up at me, and cooed, “I love you Mommy.”  My heart melted.  I said “Awww, thanks for the hug, baby, I love you too.”  Then I joked, “What, did you break something?”  She grinned up at me and said, “Yeah.  Mommy’s camera.”

Then there are those times when it gets Too Quiet in the apartment.  Caroline isn’t anywhere I can see her, and I instantly know that she is up to no good, because what quiet toddler ever is?  I call out, “Hey Caro, what are you up to?”  And she inevitably replies in the most matter-of-fact of tone, “I playin’ wif Mommy’s makeups” or “I colorin’ wall wif my crayons” or “I puttin’ Mommy’s shirts inna potty!”

You’ve got to hand it to her.  She gets into enough trouble to keep me on my toes all day long, but at least she’s up-front about whatever it is she’s doing.

Then there’s the flip side of the coin… my toddler might be honest to a fault, but having her has pretty much turned me into a big fat liar.  I tell her lies all day long.

“Oh, we don’t have any ice cream.  The store didn’t have any today.”

“Caroline, you want a cupcake?” ::hands over disgustingly healthy carrot-flaxseed muffin::

At 6am: “It’s still the middle of the night.  You need to go back to bed.”

“Mommy, we go shopping?”  ”No, Caroline, Mommy only shops when there’s something we need.”

Uh-huh.  Okay there, Mom.  Whatever you say.  Maybe I could learn a thing or two from my brutally-honest toddler.

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  1. by Merks

    On June 22, 2011 at 8:32 pm

    ::pool break whistle::
    “Oh, sorry honey, looks like the pool is closing. Time to go home!”

    ::hands over tuna steak::
    “Want some chicken?”

  2. by Jill Cordes

    On June 23, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    Caroline sounds hysterical! They are sneaky little creatures aren’t they? Fia isn’t talking in sentences yet, but she babbles a lot. Today I turned my back for a minute, when that silence took over, like you talk about. I turn around and she was flipping backwards off the coffee table! Luckily it wasn’t too traumatic…. but they do crack me up!

  3. by Sarah

    On June 25, 2011 at 9:51 am

    Love this! When my almost-3 year old wants me to get out of bed so we can go downstairs in the morning I tell her my legs are still sleeping… As soon as I get up she says, “your legs woke up?”
    So true. They are honest & we lie all day :)