Start Here: My Story

Mom and toddler

Hi!  I’m Julia, single mom to Caroline, age two, who I adore but did not plan for.  I got pregnant with her unexpectedly about halfway through dental school.  I was married at the time.  I continued with school until I went into preterm labor around 28 weeks, at which point I took a year off.  I went back to dental school in January 2010, when Caroline was 11 months old.  That summer, I filed for divorce from my husband, and our divorce was finalized this past February.  I finally graduated from dental school just last week.  My blog is about the challenges and joys of being a single mother and a dental student… and now that I’m done with school, a brand-new dentist.

I’ve been blogging for about three years and just moved all my old posts here to Parents (after much effort and HTML editing and breaking and fixing of tags, which probably would have been no big deal if I actually knew what a tag was, which I don’t). Since most of you reading this are probably new to my blog, I thought I’d put together a list of the posts that summarize my story the best. For the rest of you who already know me and followed me here… a little walk down memory lane. Or skip this post and wait for the new stuff!

Pick and choose and skip at will!

Shock: The day I found out I was pregnant.

The perils of unplanned pregnancy: The start of the troubles between me and Tyler.

Preterm WHAT??: Preterm labor begins at 28 weeks.

Suddenly a stay-at-home mom: Temporarily leaving school and going on bedrest.

It’s a girl!: Caroline is born at 36 weeks!

My birth story will have to wait: NICU trials and tribulations.

Birth story: This one’s self-explanatory.

A paper cut on the eye: Struggles with breastfeeding and pumping.

My “I-will-never’s”: It’s so much easier to parent before you actually become a parent.

See you in 10 minutes!”: I was so not a newborn kind of person.

Life is good: Just kidding, I was so totally a newborn kind of person. That day.

Whose leg do I have to hump to get a referral around here?: Issues with reflux.

Diagnosis: I am diagnosed with postpartum depression and PTSD.

Quitting time: I quit pumping in order to save my sanity.

Single mom’ing it: Tyler’s long and frequent absences take their toll.

I can do this: I return to dental school after my year at home.

Milestone anxiety: Caroline’s gross motor delay and resulting physical therapy.

May 16, 2010: Was once supposed to be my graduation day… but was still a good one.

Overly personal statement: Thoughts on having a baby during dental school.

I think I need to clarify: Explanation of my decision to file for divorce.

Empty: Tyler officially moves out.

Dear Caroline: A letter to my daughter about why I left her father.

“I don’t think she smiles like that”: Finding my happy place.

Off-limits: Struggles with dating after divorce.

Same team: My roller coaster plunges down again, and stories of divorce counseling.

Irretrievable breakdown: Our divorce is finalized.

“How do you do it all?”: Well, as it turns out, I really don’t.

That which angers you, controls you: I struggle with Tyler introducing his new girlfriend to Caroline.

Control freak: Continued struggles and introspection.

Alone: Thoughts on being single.

Prayer for my daughter: Reflections on what I want for my daughter, based on my own trainwreck of a personal life.

DMD… finally: My graduation from dental school… at last.

Whew. Long list. But it’s way shorter than reading all of my past posts. And if the past three years of my life have been anything, they’ve been eventful. Enjoy, and welcome to my blog!

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  1. by Raerae

    On July 13, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    I am a single mom of a 10month old now who is more and more amazing day by day.
    I realized I was pregnant about 1 month after being on a wild vacation and meeting a guy who I thoughtwould be a fun vacation fling…as it turned out he is the father of my daughter although not exactly an interactive father.
    As much as I feared being a single mom after being raised by one, it is turning out to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I realize that raising a child alone isn’t “ideal” but I almost feel spoiled at times that I get to be this person’s center of their life and essentially I control all things that concern her.
    Things can be a bit of a roller coaster at times but I had a wonderful pregnancy, a fairly uncomplicated birth (c-section after realizing she was breach) difficult breastfeeding but have been able to pump for 10 months and a wonderful supportive work environment…and I have a great supportive family as well as helpful friends.
    I’ve learned through this as well as other experiences that we rarely get what we want or ask for but we always get what we need…and I needed my little miss J who has been a blessing for me since day 1!!!

  2. by Raerae

    On July 13, 2011 at 11:08 pm

    I forgot to mention in all of my rambling that I was inspired to write my short story because I really appreciate hearing about all of the hard working single moms out there. We don’t get enough credit for the work we do and how we are always there when some fathers aren’t. Moms make the world go around!!

  3. by Brooke

    On July 14, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    I saw your blog back on one of the baby websites since our babies were due at the same time. And I just want to say Way to go! I opened my magazine and went wait! lol I remember reading her story… but alas two kids, moving twice, the man becoming a firefighter and a dog I lost track of your blog!!