How to make a grown woman cry

Tell her she has to throw out her entire freezer stash of breastmilk.

Here’s the back story: Tyler had gone to Michigan for a few days to look at some fossils for his research. I was left alone with Caroline and, needless to say, was exhausted by the time he came back. I pumped and thawed a bunch of frozen breastmilk so that he could take over the night feedings for me so I could get some rest. Well, the thawed milk smelled terrible. It has this gross metallic smell that made me want to gag. I dumped it and thawed milk from a different day. Same thing. I threw it out in frustration and went to bed. (Luckily I did still get my rest because Caroline slept through the night, which she will do at random times. Actually, it seems like she only does it on Fridays. Hmm. But I digress.)

So this morning I went to ask my girls on the Nest what the dealio was. Turns out I probably have excess lipase in my milk, which breaks down the fats in it and makes it nasty. Which means that all my painstakingly-pumped-and-stored milk is no good. And I will have to dump it out. To fully express my feelings regarding this catastrophe, I’ll need to use this photo:


So now I am sulking and delaying the dump because I worked hard to put away all that milk. That shiz is liquid gold, people!! It represents my freedom! Breastfeeding is really hard when you’re tied to your baby for feedings every couple of hours… stored milk lets you get out of the house, or sleep a few hours in a row, or whatever other selfish things you want to do. Throwing it out is every breastfeeding mom’s worst nightmare. I guess I only have about 25 ounces saved, but still.

From now on I’ll have to scald my milk before freezing it, which isn’t so bad, I guess. It’s a little more work, but I’m sure I’ll get used to it. At this point I’m just irritated that I have one more obstacle when it comes to breastfeeding, because it’s really been nothing but an uphill battle for me so far, and it was just starting to get a little easier. Oh well. I really hope this is my last challenge! I’ve earned it, I’ve been a good little milk cow.

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  1. by Lyndsay

    On March 16, 2009 at 7:12 am

    That sucks!! I know how you feel. I discovered Amelia had a milk allergy after 4 months and after pumping and stashing over 100 oz! I am still keeping it in hopes she’ll outgrow it at 1 year old and can use it after I wean her. Good luck! BF’ing is so hard, but also rewarding IMHO. (LyndsayQ from the Bump)

  2. by edmo

    On March 16, 2009 at 9:47 am

    At least you’ll still be able to pump. Reading this I was nervous you wouldn’t be able to store extra milk. Yeah, I remember one time I spilled an entire bottle of freshly pumped milk all over the counter and I nearly cried. And that was just one bottle.

  3. by Bobbi Janay

    On March 17, 2009 at 12:28 am

    I have been reading you blog since it was on the nest, thought I would introduce my self. I am so sorry about having to throw out all that breastmilk.

  4. by Melissa

    On March 26, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    I am so sorry that this adds another step. To edmo’s point when I was still engorged I knocked over the container with my freshly pumped milk and did cry, hard. I was in so much pain and that only further frustrated me. It’s a weird thing when you breastfeed I think because it is so wonderful to connect to your baby but the freedom once in a while is also nice.