The Benefits of Animals for Kids with Autism

Thursday, March 7th, 2013

This is a post in the weekly Autism Hopes series by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, a mom who blogs over at AutismWonderland.

Recently there was a study on the positive results animals had on children with autism. And I know of many autism parents who have expressed that their kids have a special bond with their pets – usually dogs.

Our building complex doesn’t allow pets and Norrin doesn’t have much interaction with dogs. He’s terrified of them, actually. And on the occasion he sees one on the street, he tries to run away. Which makes navigating certain blocks of Manhattan interesting since every other person is walking a dog.

My husband and I have spent a great deal of time trying to teach Norrin about animals – it continues to be a work in progress. Norrin’s been around cats, dogs, ponies, birds and fish. And in each interaction, I’ve seen different things:

Gentleness. Last summer we visited an aquarium in Connecticut and we let Norrin enter the bid house to feed the birds. He was timid by all the birds flying overhead but he was laughing, giggling. But as my husband demonstrated what needed to be done, I watched as Norrin held out his hand to feed the bird. His other hand, still at his side. He knew that any rapid movements would scare away the birds.

Understanding. Norrin is scared of dogs. The barking, the sudden movements – make him anxious. But still, he is interested in them and he’s curious. My best friend has two dog and two cats and it usually takes a lot of coaxing to get him into the apartment. But after a while, Norrin gets used to the pets. He understands that they must all share the space while he’s there. Sometimes, he’s even okay if one of the pets get close to him.

Focus: A few weeks ago, we took Norrin for a pony ride – his first. The kid who refuses to get on the carousel got on a pony. And he LOVED it! I admit I was a little surprised. After a few laps around the stables, we came home – the rest of the afternoon, Norrin was so focused, so calm – able to concentrate. And now we’re thinking of looking into hippotherapy.

I don’t know what it is about autism and animals. Maybe it’s easier for autistics to connect with animals. I’ve read about that. Reading about the benefits about animals and kids with autism is one thing, seeing it is another. And to see it for myself is really special.

Have you seen a connection between your child and animals?

How To Entertain A Kid Who’s Home Sick

Friday, February 22nd, 2013

It’s hard to know who’s feeling worse: your sick child or you, because it’s so sad to see them in discomfort (and, let’s admit, it’s no fun when they start the “Mommy-I’m-boooored” whining). Here, parent-proven ways to amuse a child who’s not feeling well.

FOR TODDLERS

If they’re stuck in bed…

Play “Capture the bunny.” Games don’t get much easier than this: Put your hand beneath your child’s blanket or comforter, hop it all around and tell him to try and “capture” the bunny. Bound to induce giggles in even the mopiest child.

And if they’re not stuck in bed…

Have a critter picnic. Spread out a blanket on the floor, gather a bunch of stuffed animals and teddy bears and some play dishes and cups, and have a little picnic. This is also a way to get your little one to down some soup or other food, if she hasn’t been so into eating. And if it just so happens that one of the animals is also ailing, your tot can give him some pretend medicine.

FOR PRESCHOOLERS

If they’re stuck in bed…

Do a shadow-puppet show. Just close the curtains, aim a lamp at a wall and use your fingers to create different animal shapes. Enlist your child’s imagination to  figure out what the shadow is—especially helpful if you have absolutely no clue what you’re doing, and her guess is as good as yours.

And if they’re not stuck in bed…

Make a feel-better story. Ask your child to put together a story about a kid who got sick and then got all better (and then hope she takes the hint). She can color pictures on construction paper, and you can help write captions. Use a hole puncher to make holes on the left sides of the papers, then tie them together with pipe cleaners.

FOR YOUNG SCHOOL-AGE KIDS

If they’re stuck in bed…

Play a bedroom game of I Spy. Give hints like “I spy with my little eye something blue” and have your child try to guess what you are talking about. Then, her turn!

And if they’re not stuck in bed…

Put together a cool craft box. Cover a shoe box with glued-on construction paper. Then let your child decorate it with crayons, markers, glitter, stickers, pom-pons or whatever you have on hand. She can use the box to store craft supplies or special treasures.

This post is sponsored by Little Remedies, makers of children’s medication without artificial colors, artificial flavors or alcohol.

Sometimes Special Needs Kids Are The Mother Of Invention

Thursday, February 21st, 2013

I am still bursting with pride over my son’s recent idea for ice-skating. The cerebral palsy gives Max balance issues, and so wearing skates isn’t an option right now. But while we were at a skating center this weekend, he spotted a red walker used to train kids to skate and pointed to it. Aha! And then, Max glided across the ice sans skates, looking happy and very proud of himself.

I was doubly thrilled, too—both because he was having such a good time, and because he had found a way to enable himself. For years now, like most special-needs moms, I have done whatever I can to help Max enjoy the same activities others kids do. I have found a local special-needs softball team for him. I have enrolled him in adaptive soccer clinics. I have found an art therapist who helps him with crafts and who shows me how to help Max.

And so, it is both a pleasure and a relief to have Max reach the stage where he himself is starting to think of ways he can participate in activities. I mean, he has always had massive amounts of determination. I can still picture him as a baby trying and trying to grasp toys (cerebral palsy can make your hands and other body parts tighten up). He’d somehow manage to grab the block or the stuffed animal or the plastic ring, and he’d hold on for dear life. My husband and I wold joke that we couldn’t have chosen a better name for him because he tried to the max to do everything.

And now, that drive is accompanied by the cognition that he can help himself. It’s not  a milestone you’d ever read in any of the child development books—but it sure is major to this mom.

From my other blog:

Adaptive skiing for kids with disabilities

Couples with disabilities: 5 love stories to celebrate

Mac and cheese mania continues!

When You Know One Special Needs Mom…

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

This is a post in the weekly Autism Hopes series by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, a mom who blogs over at AutismWonderland.

A few weeks ago I went to a party. Now, it’s not often that I get to go out to a party on a Saturday night. And it’s certainly not often that I attend a party where I know no one other than the host. And as friendly as I am – I can be quite shy. I’m not good at walking up to strangers at a party and striking up a conversation. I can very easily hold up any wall.

But I really like the woman (another special needs mom who has been so helpful in my journey) who invited me and it was an opportunity to get out. When my husband dropped me off, I assured him I wouldn’t be home late. “I’ll be home before before eleven.”

I entered the apartment and kissed the host hello. I scanned the room even though I knew I wouldn’t recognize anyone. There were couples and clusters of friends in almost every corner. I poured myself a glass of wine and pretended to examine the art on the walls. (Thank goodness, my host had a beautiful collection to keep me occupied.)

A few awkward smiles and hellos to strangers later – I was ready to call it a night and be home in time to kiss my son Norrin goodnight.

Then my host started handing out stickers to some of the guests – on the stickers were 3 letters, “SNB” (Special Needs Board). It was a way for guests to identify other special needs parents. (Brilliant!)

Within minutes I was chatting with a couple whose son attended the same school as my son. Then I started talking to another  couple. By the time the party was in full swing – I was laughing with a group of women. All special needs moms. We shared our stories, exchanged advice, complained about the NYC school bus strike.

The thing I love about meeting another special needs mom for the first time is that automatic comfort level. The ability to have a conversation without having to stop and explain a term or acronym. That feeling that someone understands.

I had such a good time, I didn’t leave until close to midnight.

So the next time you’re invited to a party hosted by a special needs mom and you’re on the fence about going because you think you won’t know anyone. GO! Because if you know one special needs mom – you know a network of special needs moms.  And it feels good connecting with a network who gets you.

How Kids With Autism Express Their Love

Thursday, February 14th, 2013

This is a post in the weekly Autism Hopes series by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, a mom who blogs over at AutismWonderland.

Today is Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. My son, Norrin, is seven years old and I can count the times that he’s said “I love you” to me spontaneously. When I tell him I love him, he usually says it back (I never taught him to say it). Or he just says “yes” (and that makes me smile). I don’t know if he understands what love means. Love is an abstract concept for many kids with autism to understand. But I know that Norrin loves me, he doesn’t need to say it with words – he shows me.

I asked some autism mom bloggers how their kids show their love and this is what they shared:

Lizbeth, Four Sea Stars: Alex sighs when I give him a kiss goodnight. Like a big peaceful, happy sigh. That and he says, “I love you,” when I give him the go-ahead to play minecraft.

Beth, Maternal Instincts: Every morning, first thing, and every night as I tuck him into bed, Nik will lean in to me to give me a soft kiss on the lips. He lets me give him kisses all the time and he’ll give them to me when I ask. But these two times –the bookends of the day– he gives them freely. It is also the only time he looks me directly in the eyes. I live for those moments of connection. [Nik is non-verbal and 9 years old]

Varda, Squashed Mom: It was really really important to me that Jacob’s ABA therapists never taught him to say “I love you” as a rote thing. I was even ok with the idea of him never saying it back to me, because nothing would be worse than him saying it and never knowing if it was because he felt it and understood what it meant or because it had been taught as the “correct” response, So that the first time he told me “I love you Mommy!” – he was about 5 – I knew it was completely spontaneous and real.

Sunday, Adventures of Extreme Parenthood: Every morning as my boys ride off to school in their bus I do the sign for “I love you”. Last year when Sam was about to turn 9 he waved to me and held up his hands and did a perfect Spock “Live long and prosper” sign back to me. I know for sure my boys know I love them but in that instant I knew without a doubt that Sam loved me back.

Diane, Our Adventures with Riley: Ri will ask “Can I kiss you gently?” and then plant a kiss ever-so-gently on my cheek.

Patty, Pancakes Gone Awry: I know Danny loves me because even when he needs a break from the whole world, even when he’s tired of his siblings, his classmates and everyone, he will let me sit with him quietly. I will ask him if he wants me to leave him alone and he will say, “No, you can stay.” Sometimes he’ll talk to me about LEGOs or Minecraft. And other times we just sit there quietly together.

Jessica, Don’t Mind the Mess: I see signs of love in physical affection. Graham wants to sit on my lap, he wants to lay on me, he wants me to hold him close. And, of course, sometimes when he doesn’t want me to go he’ll wrap himself around my leg.

Miz Kp, Austistic Seas: My son Angel can’t say I love you. but I know he does when he saids “kiss kiss” and plants one on my cheek. His actions speak louder than any words.

Jennifer, Want a Peanut: Because my son is non-verbal, Moe expresses love in more subtle ways, like the way he leans his head on my shoulder when we sit together on the couch. His babysitters also report he looks for me when I’m not there. The first time they told me that, I cried!

How does your child show that he/she loves you?