Posts Tagged ‘ Autism inspiration ’

Not So Different: A New Anthem for Autism

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014

This is a post in the weekly Autism Hopes series by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, a mom who blogs  over at Atypical Familia.

Today is World Autism Awareness Day and what better way to convey a powerful message of awareness and hope than through song. That is exactly what Cassandra Kubinski’s song, “Not So Different” does – a song written to “foster acceptance and understanding.” When Kubinski was approached by her friend, Vanessa Ticona – the mother of two autistic sons, and asked to write a song for an autism charity walk, Kubinski agreed “knowing it was a way to use the healing power of music to contribute to the cause.”

Unfamiliar with autism Kubinski drew inspiration for the lyrics from an aunt with whom she shared an emotional connection. Kubinski’s aunt had an intellectual disability. “My aunt had these interesting quirks,” said Kubinski. “As a writer, it was important that the words made sense to people within the community.” And so, in addition to writing from personal experience, Kubinski spoke at length with autism parents – including her friend, Vanessa. The more Kubinski learned, she was able to see the parallels between her aunt and autism. While each parents experience was different, “the common factor,” Kubinski learned was that each parent spoke of their child’s unique “way to express themselves.”

“Not So Different” will resonate with autism parents and educators. And it’s a song easy for enough for children with autism to sing and embrace as their own personal anthem.

However, “Not So Different” isn’t just a song exclusive to the autism community, Kubinski hopes the message will make a much bigger impact as “…it’s about understanding that everyone wants the same things: to love and be loved without being judged or changed.”

“Not So Different” is available for download here, sales will benefit autism organizations.

Cassandra Kubinski, singer/song writer “Not So Different”

For more on Cassandra Kubinski’s and my thoughts on “Not So Different” – check out the latest post on my blog: An Inspiring Song by Cassandra Kubinski to Raise Autism Awareness

 Find cool activities to beat boredom here.

Children with Autism: The Parents Perspective
Children with Autism: The Parents Perspective
Children with Autism: The Parents Perspective

Other autism related posts on Atypical Familia:

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The Importance of Playdates and Kids with Autism

Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

This is a post in the weekly Autism Hopes series by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, a mom who blogs  over at Atypical Familia (formerly AutismWonderland).

My son, Norrin, playing with his friend, Dylan.

“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” -  Fred Rogers

When my son, Norrin, was first diagnosed with autism he had no appropriate play skills. He didn’t even have much interest in playing with other children. Norrin was content playing by himself. I never pushed playdates because our schedules consisted of work, school and therapy. Most of the other special needs parents I know juggle the same kind of schedule. So working on socialization and playdates with peers wasn’t a priority for us especially since we knew it was being done at school.

A few weeks ago, I hosted a party and invited a few moms with their children. It was our first party in years. And it was the first time I had other kids with autism in our home. Unsure of how to host while entertaining children, I asked our ABA therapist if she could help out for a few hours.

I’ve seen Norrin at the playground. Sometimes he’ll run around with another kid but it’s never for more than ten minutes. I’ve seen him in school sitting beside a classmate but not really engaging. Watching Norrin interact with kids  in his own environment was eye opening for me. Norrin was talking and sharing and wanting to play with the other kids. He even read his guests a story.

At eight years old, Norrin is finally ready for playdates. And since our little party, he’s been asking for all his friends to come over and play.

I’m no longer tied to mainstream dreams. I just want Norrin to be happy and be as independent as he can. I also want him to have at least one friend. A friendship will never form unless I start cultivating the value and meaning of a friend now.

A few weeks ago I shared that I was ready to start cutting back on our therapy. I’ve spent the last five years focusing on all the skills I thought were more important, always putting socialization on the back burner. It’s time to take play seriously.

Do your children have regular playdates?

 

Have you heard about my #EverydayAutism Photo-a-day Challenge - go check it out on Instagram!

 

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Caroline’s Cart: Shopping Made Easier For Kids With Special Needs

Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

This is a post in the weekly Autism Hopes series by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, a mom who blogs  over at AutismWonderland.

Before I was a mom and before my son, Norrin, was diagnosed with autism I used to side eye the mothers who had their ‘too big’ kids stuffed into the seat of a shopping cart. I thought the kids were lazy and assumed the moms had no control. Now I know better.

I remember what it was like shopping with Norrin when he was younger and first diagnosed with autism. If I were with my husband, it was easier. If I was by myself, I’d either hoist him up and squeeze him into the shopping cart seat (knowing he had exceeded the limit) or struggle while shopping, holding his hand and navigating crowded store aisles.

Even now, at eight years old, we hold Norrin’s hand or stay close by. And those few seconds if/when he runs away and out of sight and I’m yelling his name scanning the aisles, are agonizing. I wish he could still fit in a shopping cart seat so that  I can run in and out without me having a heartache or him a meltdown.

The moment I saw Caroline’s Cart in my Facebook feed, I knew how important it was for special needs families. The cart was specifically “created for special needs children. It provides parents and caregivers a viable option to transport a child through a store while grocery shopping, without simultaneously having to maneuver a wheelchair and a traditional grocery cart.

Some of the features of Caroline’s Cart includes:

  • The seat back has a five degree tilt for increased comfort for low muscle tone children
  • The seat faces the caregiver, so eye contact is easy to maintain, children with anxiety issues can watch the parent during the shopping trip, and children prone to seizures can be monitored
  • The platform below the seat provides a footrest for the child
  • An abductor in the seat helps keep the child upright
  • A harness helps to secure the child so parents have hands free to steer the cart and shop

While Norrin doesn’t require the use of a wheelchair, we could still benefit from Caroline’s Cart. Sometimes shopping can be overwhelming for kids with autism. Stores are sensory overload – people talking, kids crying, loud speakers crackling, shopping carts banging into displays. Caroline’s Cart would be especially helpful while at check out. It can be difficult to keep an eye on Norrin while I’m  trying to unload my purchases and pay.

I haven’t seen Caroline’s Cart in any of my local stores, but I’ll be looking. And I want you to look too. If you don’t see it and you need it, don’t be scared to make a call or send an email. Because it never hurts to just ask. It worked for this mom, it could work for you.

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Baby Care Basics: When a Baby Has a Birth Defect
Baby Care Basics: When a Baby Has a Birth Defect
Baby Care Basics: When a Baby Has a Birth Defect

image: screen shot Caroline’s Cart

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Little Signs Of Independence When Your Kid Has Autism

Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

This is a post in the weekly Autism Hopes series by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, a mom who blogs  over at AutismWonderland.

These days, we’re letting him take the lead.

Five years ago when Norrin was diagnosed with autism and started Early Intervention, we had a team of therapists in and out of our apartment. We focused on teaching Norrin how to ask for help. “Help” was one of the first signs he learned and “I need help” was one of the first three word sentences he said.

The irony is that as soon as Norrin began saying “I need help” spontaneously and independently, I prompted him to do the thing that requested help with, himself. Even if he couldn’t do it, I wanted him to at least try before I stepped in to help.

Norrin is eight years old and he still needs my help with many things. The challenge is figuring out when he needs my help and knowing when to let him be. Lately, Norrin’s motto has been “I can do it, all by myself.” He wants to brush his teeth and pour his juice and wash his hair all by himself, pushing my hand away when I try to help. Some days, we walk down the street and he doesn’t even want to hold my hand. And just last night, he took his first selfie! I love these little signs of independence. It’s a good thing. We want Norrin to be as independent as possible.

But independence can be messy.

Norrin doesn’t do the best job at brushing his teeth. When he pours juice, he almost always pours so much, it spills over the top. When Norrin washes his own hair he doesn’t know to rinse all the soap out. And when we’re walking, Norrin has difficulty navigating busy sidewalks. He doesn’t know to look both ways to cross the street.

Norrin craves independence but he still needs my help and my hand. And instead of doing for him, I am learning to guide him. I let Norrin squeeze toothpaste on his brush and let him brush his teeth. When he says he’s all done, I tell him it’s my turn and I brush his teeth again. When he wants something to drink, I stand nearby and let Norrin pour his own juice but I tell him when to stop. And if he spills juice, I make him clean it up.

I’m not going to lie. It’s easier, neater and faster to do for Norrin rather than letting him do things on his own. But if isn’t taught to do these little things for himself, how can he do the bigger things? The little things are the baby steps to an independent life.

Is your child showing signs of independence? How are you letting them go?

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What Is Autism?
What Is Autism?
What Is Autism?

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Autism Is Not A Punishment From God

Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

This is a post in the weekly Autism Hopes series by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, a mom who blogs  over at AutismWonderland.

Look at this child. Does he look like a punishment for anything?

Five years ago when my son, Norrin, was diagnosed with autism I went through a series of emotions. Anger for not seeing the signs sooner, depression due to so much uncertainty, loneliness because I didn’t know anyone else raising an autistic child and anxiety over navigating the special education maze. And while I may have even wondered whether I was to blame for Norrin’s autism – not once did I ever consider my son or autism a punishment.

Recently GOP candidate Susanne Atanus made a statement blaming autism (along with other diseases and natural disasters like tornadoes) as God’s punishment for abortions and same- sex marriage. When I read the article, my jaw just about hit the keyboard. I’m grateful Republican leaders strongly advised Atanus to withdraw from the congressional campaign as her beliefs “have no place in the modern political debate.”

I don’t want to get into a political debate because it’s pointless. Susanne Atanus’ statements are irrelevant and incorrect. (I am being very very kind.) But Atanus’ words are dangerous, insulting and hurtful to me and the entire autism community, as well as every woman who’s had an abortion and every gay couple wanting to marry. And if Atanus feels that way about autism, how many other people feel the same? It scares me to think that such ignorance could exist, especially within someone running for office.

When I first started telling people Norrin had autism, many expressed how “sorry” they were. I know people meant well, but I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for us. As I’ve shared my story people have asked if I wanted a cure for Norrin or if autism could have been prevented. And once a coworker referred to Norrin as “sick.” Autism isn’t a disease in need of a cure and Norrin isn’t sick. In fact, he’s probably one of the healthiest kids I know. There are so many misconceptions about autism as it is. Some I can shrug off but autism as a “punishment from God” is beyond insulting.

When I look at Norrin, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of pride and unbelievable joy. I recognize the progress he has made and how hard he was worked to achieve the milestones that come so easily to other children. He is my son and I have loved him since the moment I found out I was pregnant. And on the day Norrin was diagnosed with autism, my love for him did not diminish.

Norrin has autism. Yes we have our challenges and raising a child with special needs isn’t always easy. But it’s not a punishment. My son is not a burden. I have no desire to cure him. I love Norrin just as he is. And I want others to appreciate, understand and respect him for who he is. Norrin is my greatest achievement and I am so blessed to his mother. The only punishment we are burdened with is dealing with ignorant individuals like Susanne Atanus.

Norrin is my only son. And if I had to choose between having him – just as he is – or no son at all, I would choose him. Always.

 

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