Archive for the ‘
To The Max ’ Category
Thursday, December 18th, 2014
OK, so technically, this isn’t my child in Target’s Sunday newspaper circular. I happen to have a boy, Max. Who is 12-years-old and who has cerebral palsy, not Down syndrome. The child in the ad is 2-year-old Izzy Bradley of Stillwater, Minnesota.
But you know what? When I see Target including a child with special needs in their ads, I do see my son there—along with other kids who have special needs.
I look at this ad and I see that little girl representing all our children, because it’s still relatively rare for a child with disabilities to appear in ads.
I look at this ad and I see a child looking every bit as cute as any other child. Cute in her own way, just like any child is.
I look at this ad and I see a child looking like she is having a good time—you know, as children like to do. Which is something that people sometimes don’t realize about kids with special needs: They may have more visible challenges than other kids (or, as the case may be, invisible ones), but at heart they are still children with all that kid wonder and sense of fun. Sometimes, people see only the disability. As Izzy’s mom Heather said, “I really appreciate Target’s policy of including [kids with Down syndrome] in their ads. I think it really normalizes Down syndrome and helps people to see we’re really just like any other family.”
I look at this ad and see a child with special needs being included in an organic, natural way, the kind of inclusion parents of kids with special needs yearn for in other parts of life.
I look at this ad and I see true diversity. These days, companies are very conscientious about making sure races of all kinds are represented in ads, but full-fledged diversity means including people of all abilities as well.
I look at this ad and I want to see more, more, more of them.
From my other blog:
25 funny books for kids
Best holiday gifts for kids with special needs
15 superpowers of special needs moms
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Tuesday, December 9th, 2014
This post is from Beverly Worth Palomba, author of Special Day Cooking: A Life Skills Cookbook. A veteran teacher who has worked in Special Education for the last 11 years, Beverly runs a life skills class for students with special needs at a local high-school—a program that inspired her book. She also holds cooking workshops at community centers. She’s doing important (and delicious!) work. As she says, “There is so much happening when your child is cooking or helping in the kitchen. They are not only making something yummy but they are learning to work as a team. It gives you and your child an avenue to ask questions or talk about what you are making together. Cooking is a natural and easy way to help build social skills, develop language, foster teamwork and build confidence and self-esteem.”
Check out her top tips for successful cooking with a child who has special needs.
1) Tour the kitchen
Show your child where the utensils, pots and pans, mixing spoons, mixing bowls, measuring spoons, cutting board, paper towels, toaster, microwave and blender are—and don’t forget the refrigerator. There are a lot of different compartments that can be confusing.
2) Prep your child for success
Go over the differences between liquid measuring cups and dry measuring cups. Use a cutting board with a rubber backing if possible, since it provides more stability for chopping; you could also place a rubber mat beneath one to help stabilize it. Use plastic knives only.
3) Make things easy to reach and move
• To make lifting and pouring from large containers easier, store ingredients in smaller, lighter containers. For example, you can keep vegetable oil in an empty spice jar or pour milk into a quart container.
• Store dry ingredients like, sugar, flour, salt and pepper in wide, covered containers so they’re easier to scoop and level.
• Store spices in a clear, shoe-box size container. This will make it easier to put on the counter to see which spices are needed. Start with the most common ones like salt and pepper, then add to the box as you go along.
• Arrange the cooking supplies with your child. Make sure bowls aren’t in a pile, making it difficult to get to the right size. It is so important for kids to feel that they are part of the set up.
4) Choose a simple recipe
Finding a recipe to begin with that has a few ingredients (no more than four), step-by-step directions, a colorful picture and is on one page is important. You want your child to be excited about the recipe they are cooking and even more so, you want your child to have a fun and successful experience. You don’t want them to be turned off by their first recipe because it was too long and confusing. I recommend starting with a trail mix or smoothie.
5) Read together
Read the recipe with your child. You may have already done this when you were looking for one, but it will help them to focus on their task. Reading before starting will also allow you to go over any questions your child may have.
6) Break it down
Set out all the ingredients and equipment on the counter. If while cooking your child is having difficulty focusing on the ingredients or directions, cover the recipe with a piece of paper, leaving only the part they are working on showing. Then, move the paper as you go.
7) Sprinkle on lavish amounts of praise
Laugh and offer up lots of compliments. Give your family a head’s up on what’s coming so they are ready with the “Wow, that’s great” comments. Of course, there will be spills. Remember to giggle…and have your child join in on the clean up!
From my other blog:
Holiday gifts and toys for kids with special needs
A cool way to describe kids with special needs
Help for one of those tricky special needs situations
Image of boy and mom cooking via Shutterstock
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014
New research has revealed important information about how kids and autism read other people’s social cues—and how people with autism see themselves.
Children and adults with autism see faces differently than their peers do, reveals a study published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. Scientists at the University of Montreal asked a group of 71 children and adults—including 33 with autism and 38 without—to view both photographs and computer-generated images of emotionally neutral faces, and to indicate which ones appeared most “kind.” The group with autism had mixed reactions to the photos, compared to the other group. Yet both groups performed similarly when they glanced at the synthetic image.
In a nutshell, the study indicates that people with autism gather information about faces differently than others do—it’s not a matter of making a judgment. This finding could help improve socializing and communication with people who have autism. As lead author Baudouin Forgeot d’Arc said, “Ultimately, a better understanding of how people with ASD perceive and evaulute the social environment will allow us to better interact with them.”
Another study, published in the journal PLoS One, found that when young adults with autism think about hugging or adoring someone or hating them, they think of it like somebody watching a play or reading a dictionary definition. It’s actual proof that people with autism have an altered perception of self, Carnegie Mellon University lead researcher Marcel Just, PhD, told Time magazine. His team did MRI scans on 17 young adults with autism and 17 people without it to see which areas of the brain lit up when they thought about a range of social interactions. The difference between the two groups was so significant that researchers could pinpoint whether a brain was autistic or neurotypical with 97 percent accuracy. The findings could lead to a new way of diagnosing and understanding autism, along with other psychiatric disorders.
Yet more pieces of the autism puzzle falls into place.
From my other blog:
Goodnight Moon: Special Needs Edition
Hey, Oprah, it’s not spiritual to demean people with disabilities
Handling relatives who don’t get your kid with special needs
Image of girl holding puzzle pieces via Shutterstock
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Monday, November 24th, 2014
Come Thanksgiving dinner, as families gathered around tables give thanks, many special needs parents may be secretly adding their prayers that their children will weather the day OK. Juggling holiday gatherings with your child’s challenges can be tricky. These are some of the strategies I’ve used successfully over the years, along with ones from fellow special needs parents.
1. Don’t be a martyr.
Holidays tend to bring out the Martha Stewart in many people, but not me. For years now, we’ve ordered most of our meal from Whole Foods. As a working mom raising a child with special needs, it’s what I’ve needed to make my life work (and tasty). Says Katrina M,, “We have someone else make the meal, be it catered or super grandma. We have someone else bring the wine. We host and provide rolls for ht meal and dessert an, coffee.” Hint: It’s not too late to ask someone else to make the sweet potato pie.
2. Prep the turkey…and your kid.
Some parents find that making a social story or visual schedule of Thanksgiving day can help. Says Barbara J., whose son has ADHD, “I find that if I prep him about what to expect, where we’re going, who’s going to be there, etc., it really helps him transition.”
3. Prep your family, too.
Bianca A. primes her family about how her child’s day is going once relatives gather. I like to send out emails ahead of Thanksgiving Day noting stuff my son is into (this year, it’s fire trucks) and reminding people not to clap or cheer over stuff since that tends to set him off.
4. Change your expectations.
It used to pain me that my son didn’t want to sit at the table with us. But over time I realized he was perfectly content playing with toys in another room—why torture myself over it? “I don’t ever force my son with autism and SPD to sit and have dinner with us,” says Tracy P. “It’s much more pleasant for everyone if he gets to play with his toys while we have dinner, and if he wants to sit with us, he can.”
5. Bust out the iDevice.
Plenty of parents rely on iPads, tablets or other electronic devices to placate their children when things get too overwhelming—with no heaping helping of guilt. “The iPad is our savior!” gushes Karen P. “My daughter is allowed to use it before dinner, while everyone is visiting. It keeps her occupied and distracted, and she will often sit with the group while using it.” Mom Stacey N. goes with tunes: “Headphones and classical music on the iPod, or a walk outside.”
6. Prepare some nontraditional dishes.
Pasta on Thanksgiving? Bring it. “My son has SPD and major food issues. So I always make sure there’s Kraft mac and cheese on the table, because I know he’ll eat that,” says KL W. “He has to have other foods on his plate, for exposure purposes, and he has to take a (tiny) bite of each of these other foods, but he knows he can stuff his face with mac and and cheese, so he’s more willing to try the other foods without fearing he’ll starve.” And make enough to go around! Says Jennifer R, “I make stuff to bring that I know my kids will eat because they’re picky, but I’ll make enough to share with everyone there.”
7. Create a quiet space.
“I keep my bedroom as a quiet room for my son with severe autism,” says Dolly S. “He gets overwhelmed with all the family in the house…. He loves to go in there and pile pillows on himself and flop on the bed.” Adds Jeannette H., who has two children with sensory issues in her family, “We have a sensory room, ball, weighted blanket and bean bag chair.”
8. Have an escape plan.
If you’re headed to someone else’s home, you may need to head out early if a child is on sensory overload or just pooped out. Says Joanna Dreifus of Special Kids NYC, “It usually means leaving way before everyone else, or relying on another adult—grandparent or aunt—to bring him home early. I’ll explain he has to go to bed early and is overtired or overstimulated. Or I’ll take him home and my older kid stays on and enjoys the rest of the gathering. These are my year-round strategies for all holidays and birthday parties!”
Wishing your family a happy, calm Thankgsiving.
From my other blog:
How parents can talk to kids about ones with special needs
Good Night Moon: Special Needs Edition
A cool way to describe kids with special needs
Image of plate of Thanksgiving food via Shutterstock
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Thursday, November 20th, 2014
This is a post in the weekly Autism Hopes series by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, a mom who blogs over at Atypical Familia.
Another holiday season is upon us. And holidays mean family gatherings, parties, and shopping – it is sensory overload. Having a kid with autism this time of year can be challenging. But over the years it’s gotten easier for us, and I’ve learned some things along the way.
Today I’m excited to share 13 Holiday Tips for Special Needs Parents from Cara Koscinski, occupational therapist and author of The Pocket Occupational Therapist Book Series.
- Allow children who are overwhelmed by sights and sounds of shopping to stay home. Allow kids to have a pajama and movie night while you’re shopping.
- If a child must attend the shopping trip, schedule downtime or breaks for children to de-sensitize. This can be located in the car with some crunchy snacks, a weighted blanket, and some calming music.
- Encourage children to make a list of preferred toys well in advance. Give family lists of toys to choose from. I even purchase the toys my children will enjoy and provide them to my local family members ahead of time. We sometimes have a “trunk sale” and everyone chooses which give they will buy and wrap for my boys.
- Go at a time of day when children are well-rested and not hungry. Do not rush and arrive early.
- Write a letter or speak to the photographer ahead of time. Most studios will schedule extra time for children who have special needs. Request a photographer who is patient. If possible, schedule a photographer to visit your family outside of the studio. We have found that this may be a more affordable option than a studio because of low-overhead costs.
- Be flexible. Consider that “fancy” clothes are often scratchy, have tags, and may contain textures that aren’t familiar to children. Permit the child to wear comfortable versions of colors that you’d like the family portrait to have.
Visits with Santa
- If children do agree to see Santa, create a social story with pictures of Santa, including his beard, velvet/soft red suit, and the setting in which Santa will be located. Go to the location prior to the visit and watch other children. Practice, practice, practice!
- Create a “safe-zone” to which the child can go whenever they feel overwhelmed. Set a password or sign that your child can use to excuse himself. Place a bean bag, calming music, a heavy blanket, and favorite hand fidget toy in the area. Practice ahead of time.
- Create a letter to family members prior to family gatherings to explain your child’s wonderful progress toward goals and suggestions for conversation topics. For example: “Joshua’s had a wonderful year in therapy. He’s learned how to tie his shoes, take one turn during conversations, and how to write in cursive. Joshua likes Angry Birds. Here’s a link to the Angry Birds’ website if you’d like more information. Please know that even though he’s not looking directly into your eyes, he IS listening to you and loves you!”
- At mealtime, make sure to serve a preferred food so that children who have feeding difficulties can successfully participate.
- Give kids a job to do so that they will have a sense of belonging and success. Even something such as helping to create place markers for seating or setting the table can give kids a feeling of accomplishment.
- Remember that heavy work is generally calming. Include activities such as moving chairs, picking up and placing dirty clothes into a basket and carrying it to the laundry room, or vacuuming are great ways to encourage children to help to prepare for the party.
- Plan an “out” or an escape plan. Even a short visit that is successful can create memories that last a lifetime!
The Holidays are meant to be fun. Enjoy them with your family!
And from my other blog:
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autism, autism awareness, Autism Hopes, Disability, health, Lisa Quinones Fontanez, raising kids with special needs, special needs parenting, special needs parenting advice | Categories:
ADHD, Autism, Children With Special Needs, Disability, Health, Must Read, Special Needs, Special Needs Parenting, To The Max