A Paralyzed Woman Decides To End Her Life, And Her Mother Agrees
On her website, Christina Symanski is standing and smiling on a bridge. On her Facebook page, she is seated in a wheelchair, smiling. An artist and an art teacher, at 24 she’d been paralyzed from the chest down in a diving accident. Afterward, she continued painting, using her mouth to hold the paintbrush and pouring her emotions about her paraylsis onto the canvas. “Painting definitely makes me feel happy,” she said. “It’s one of the few things I can still do by myself that I have full control over.”
Christina died in December. It was her choice; she starved herself to death.
Two months before, she stopped eating, taking medication and drinking except for occasional sips of water. As she posted on her website Life; Paralyzed, “When I think about all the factors, and weigh all the variables, that contribute to MY daily life, the negatives vastly outweigh the positives.” She was in a lot of pain and suffered from bedsores and the shame of needing to have the most basic functions done for her. When last spring she told her mother, Louise, that she no longer wished to live, her mother said, ”I was with you the day you came into the world and I will be with you when you leave it.” Christina passed away in her arms.
I first read about Christina last weekend, in this article, and she has haunted me ever since. Her blog is one of the most upsetting things I have ever read, raw and full of anguish and despair.
Part of me understands Christina’s decision to end her suffering. And yet, I kept wondering what I would have done if I were her mother. Would I have been able to let my child starve herself, even if it was what she desperately wanted? Would I have fought her every step of the way? I can’t imagine letting go of a child like that. I can’t imagine the conversations those two had.
As the mom of a child with special needs, I felt a certain connection with Christina’s mother. I am sure she was willing to do whatever she humanly could to keep her daughter comfortable and cared for. Letting her go, it seems to me, is the most unselfish thing a mother could have ever done.
Categories: Autism, Cerebral Palsy, Children With Special Needs, Disability, Down Syndrome, Must Read, SPD, Special Needs, Special Needs Parenting, To The Max | Tags: Christina Symanski, health
7 Comments
by dderbydave
On February 22, 2012 at 10:38 am
Powerful stuff.
But the right to end one’s life isn’t yet established in law. I wonder if this would have been stopped in some countries by the authorities.
I have no idea what I would have done as a parent.
She must be an immensely strong woman.
by momttorney
On February 22, 2012 at 10:45 am
Wow. This one gets to me too. Would my Sammie one day feel like her life isn’t worth living if she’s in a wheelchair? I don’t even think I have it in me to read Christina’s blog. And, while we can never say what we’d do until we’ve walked a mile in the others’ shoes, I have to believe I would have fought. That somehow, I would have fought to help my daughter find life AFTER the accident. We have a good friend who was paralyzed from the neck down in his 50s, and although there were certainly dark days and a mourning period, he’s now working (running his own non-profit in the same field he worked before) and traveling the world. I guess I just wish Christina had been able to find life after paralysis too . . . I am speechless over this one, Ellen, and like you, it just gets to me. My heart feels heavier having read this!
by Me
On March 7, 2012 at 11:03 am
As a decades long paraplegic I have made plans and have more than one means and ways to do so. And it is no one else’s business if i choose to use them.
by John
On March 7, 2012 at 11:50 am
This article brings a tear to my eye, not because it is sad, but because I’m happy for her. I can totally relate to this wonderful young lady and what she had to deal with. I sustained spinal cord injury after a fall and although I am not fully paralyzed, I am in constant pain (morphine only takes a little edge off the agony) Some days I wake up unable to move from the neck down and other days (few and far between) I can walk with a cane. I live on my own (because I’m stubborn like that *wink*) but usually once a week I have to call a neighbor to come “pick me up of the floor” and help with other personal needs. Not a day goes by (3 years now) that I don’t think “I’d be better off dead” but my personal belief keeps me from “doing myself in”.
It’s unfortunate (selfishly, for me) that she has already passed on to peace, and that I’m only now hearing about her… I would have loved to have the chance to chat with her. Only people in her shoes, who have had to endure the horror of untreatable chronic pain can relate to what goes on inside our thoughts. I’d give her a smile, I’d try to make her laugh and rejoice in the knowledge that she’d soon be free.
I applaud Christina’s mother for standing by her wishes to die, that takes a lot of love and a ton of courage!
by Joy
On March 10, 2012 at 3:50 pm
I Feel so bad for this young women and what she had to go through. I as a Mother of a 22 year old daughter, I would have done anything in my power to show my child that there was still meaning to her life. I cannot agree with this women’s decision or the fact that her Mother held her while she slowly starved herself to death. I have days where I want to just not get out of bed I have chronic pain and I know the day to day torment it brings, however there are days when it is so great to be alive and enjoy what God has given us. But I can only control my thoughts and decisions and try to instill in my daughter the fact that bad things can happen but we must persevere the best we can until it is truly our time to go.
by cnb
On April 22, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Wow. While I cannot imagine the pain and despair this young woman endured or what her mother has gone through watching her daughter struggle with these feelings of obvious despair, it is incredibly discouraging and disheartening to read this and all the comments in support of this beautiful young woman’s decision to end her life. Life has so much to offer in so many ways, it is not confined to our limited view of the world. And each of us has unlimited potential and beauty and unique gifts to bring into this world to help make it a better place. We have lost one of those beautiful unique gifts to the world in a tragic and sad way in the death of this woman and it will leave a void that no one else can fill. I am saddened by the death of Christina and for the world that it has missed out on the gifts this woman had to offer. And for you who are in support of Christina’s decision because you too suffer and struggle, please don’t underestimate your worth and value in this world and the gifts you have to offer the rest of us. Everyone has struggles and pain and times of despair, none of us escapes, it may come in different forms and paths but we all suffer at times, we need to support and encourage each other and offer inspiration to each other when in need of it. And together we can transform this world. With sympathy to Christina’s family and friends at the loss of a beautiful life.
by Bibiana
On May 5, 2012 at 8:36 pm
Even though I have no right to judge this beautiful young woman’s decision, I still wish she had realized how much she still had to offer,even as she was.