A Mom Says She Would Have Aborted Her Child With Special Needs

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A recent headline-maker: A Florida couple are suing an obstetrician and two ultrasound clinics for not warning them that their son would be born with just one leg and no arms. The defense is saying Ana Mejia signed forms that indicated she understood an ultrasound—she had seven during her pregnancy—is not a guarantee of a “normal” baby. Her son, Bryan, is now almost three years old. “He sees kids running and playing. He looks like he wants to do the same, but he just can’t,” she said during the trial, expected to wrap up this week. Had she known about her son’s disabilities, she proclaimed, “I would have had an abortion.”

It’s a question that can make your heart and head ache: If you had a choice, and your beliefs permitted abortion, would you have chosen to have a child with special needs? That’s what went through my mind when I read that story.

Knowing my child, a beautiful boy with cerebral palsy whose disabilities are a normal part of his life and ours, I would answer “Of course I would have chosen to have Max.” And yet, I am not completely sure of what my answer would have been back then. The fear of the unknown might have consumed me. Having a child with disabilities can seem like a terrible fate…until you have a child with special needs.

My hindsight is clouded by my love for my son. He has changed my perspective, my understanding, my soul. I am grateful for him, and the happiness he brings me. I would not be terrified to have another kid with special needs—quite the opposite. I understand why people choose to adopt kids with special needs, something my husband and I have discussed.

It is now public record that the mother in this trial would have aborted her son. Most likely, she admitted it because she thought it could help sway the jury and win the case, along with money the boy needs for his future care. The judge did not allow the defense attorney to ask Ana Mejia how she could say she would have aborted a child who she loves, given that she was talking about what she would have done before she had him. When he asked her, “Does his life have value?” she responded, “Yes, a lot of value. Great value.”

What are your thoughts on the case? Is this a choice you’ve ever thought about?

9/9 UPDATE: A jury has awarded the mom $4.5 million; they found her obstetrician and ultrasound technicians at fault for failing to tell her about her son’s disabilities.

Photo/Kalieye

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  1. by Ricky

    On September 6, 2011 at 8:35 am

    My brother had a life-limiting disease which caused physical and mental disabilities. As this disease was genetic, the question of aborting a disabled child is one that I have considered.

    I think that I would abort a child if it had the same (or a similar)disease or disability. The problem with the question is that we automatically place our loved ones (for me my brother or in your case Max) into the equation which distorts our answer. Looking at it from an objective standpoint, I simply don’t think I would want anyone to go through the same experiences that my family went through. I wouldn’t want to allow any child to have to go through the pain, suffering and other difficulties that a disability creates. Likewise I wouldn’t want any family to have to the make sacrifices that you necessarily and willing make when a family member is disabled.

  2. by Kate J

    On September 6, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    Just this week, I read about a couple who sued because their child was born with my child’s own rare genetic syndrome: http://coloradopersonalinjury.blogspot.com/2011/05/judge-approves-7-million-settlement-for.html

    7 million dollars! Because the doctor failed to encourage an an abortion or get them genetic counseling. Very upsetting to me-the facts of the case could have been my own. I did, however tell my doctor that I did not want to risk an amnio because of the danger of miscarriage, and I would not have had an abortion regardless. If anything, I was offended that my doctor brought it up. Now I have a little more understanding of the difficult situation he was put in. But I would stick by my decision, even knowing the difficulties. This child has changed me for the better.

  3. by Katrina C

    On September 6, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    It’s so hard to know what you would have done had you known. I hate to say it, but if we had been told our child was going to have autism, I probably wouldn’t have gone to term with the pregnancy. I’d like to think I would have had my son anyway, and that knowing he had autism would have benefited him because we could have started therapy right away…who knows? I know I love him and I wouldn’t trade him for the world though.

  4. by Ashley Beasley

    On September 6, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    I knew at 17 weeks gestation that my son had Downs, and abortion was never even a passing thought. I loved him so much from the moment I knew he existed.Was I afraid of the unknown, yes I would be lying if I said I am not still afraid of the unknown. We were told he would die within weeks of the news because of a heart defect. I prayed daily for a miracle, more than anything I just wanted my little boy and I couldn’t imagine my life with out him just the way he is. Thank God for answered prayers and my “special” 9 year old!

  5. by April

    On September 6, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    It sounds to me like some people are just out for money. Why would they have waited 3 years for this? If they were that upset, they could have started trial sooner. It appears to me that they may have come in contact with an ambulance chaser.

  6. by Jane McRae

    On September 6, 2011 at 8:26 pm

    When we were going through our daughters diagnosis, there was a time where I wished I could go back in time and never been pregnant because seeing her struggle hurt so very much. But once I knew her (even as a fetus) an abortion would not be an option for me. I understand people wishing to have had an abortion when there child lives a life of pain and suffering, but i am soooooo very thankful that I have my special daughter.
    I hope that mother will realize that missing the diagnosis on that ultrasound was the best thing that could have happened to her. I am so thankful that I didn’t have access to a time machine during my daughters diagnosis – I might have missed a bit of pain, but I also would have missed a ton of joy!

  7. by Galen

    On September 6, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    It’s not black and white to me, but heaven help that little boy when he is a teenager or adult and googles his name and reads that his mother would have aborted him because of his disabilities.

  8. by Erin Wevers

    On September 6, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    I was in this situation just one year ago. At my 20 week ultrasound, we learned that my baby’s heart “wasn’t quite right” but the US tech’s here couldn’t tell much more. We went to the perinatologist in the next biggest town near ours about 3 weeks later and got a diagnosis of a complete AV canal defect and were told that our baby had a 75% chance of having Down Syndrome and/or other chromosome abnormalities. We chose to get an amniocentesis to rule out or confirm that diagnosis.
    Upon my research of his condition, I learned that nearly 50% of people who had been given his diagnosis terminate. Terminating was never an option for us, we just wanted to know (from the amnio) what we were in for when our baby was born. We prayed a lot, not for our baby to be born without a disability, but that we would be able to cope with whatever situation we were given. Our son was born completely normal, minus his only partial (not complete) AV canal defect and malformed mitral valve. His heart was repaired this past June when he was 4 months old and he is now my perfect baby boy (and I know in my heart he would have been perfect to us had he had any abnormalities as well).

  9. by Annabelle Guerra

    On September 6, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    If i were a mom, going to give birth a child w/ disabibilities, i would rather take the full responsility. The lifetime suffering of my child born w/ special needs, is much more of a heartbreaking scene, as long as he/she lives… The question is, am i able to be by my child’s side & tend to his/her needs until the end?

  10. by Julie

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:02 pm

    I have been fortunate to be pregnant 5 times in my short life and have given birth to 4 beautiful children. My first pregnancy ended at 10 weeks by miscarriage. It bothers me to see the poor view we have of children these days. Why do we assume we deserve to only have perfect, healthy children? Children are a blessing and whether people share my religious views isn’t the point. Life is precious. Children are precious. To say that I would have aborted any of my children because their life would be hard or inconvenience me is absolutely appalling. I would die for my children not kill them.

  11. by olivia

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    I do not agree with abortion! How can someone even think of that, I think abortion should be treated as MURDER. My baby girl has no problems she was born with pnemonia cause she swallowed amniotic fluid and stayed in NICU for 10 days! What I went thru was nothing compared to parents of children with special needs and I knew from the moment I was pregnant that I loved that lil one then when the ultrasounds came I just knew it was a miracle that we could create something so special. I could not ever go and get a abortion no matter what as I state before to me that is MURDER but not only that, that is my child, I created it, GOD has his reasons for EVERYTHING!

  12. by Eileen Pritchard

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    My daughter was born with a ASD heart defect. Most will recognise this as a standard CHD only Daisys was rare in the fact it was effectively causing her to have only 3 heart chambers as there was no upper wall in her her heart. Her defect was also missed until she was 21 months old. She went on to survive 2 open heart surgeries in one day then a massive stroke, which was also missed.
    I wouldn’t abort for ANY reason but I swing from days thinking I would go through what I have a million times to have Daisy at the end of it to thinking if I had known what we would live through and face I wouldn’t have had her. But abortion NEVER. Think maybe this mother may know what will give her the best chance of a payout for her son

  13. by Anne

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    I hope and pray that this little boy’s parents love him more than the statement they are making. What absolute selfishness! My son is physically perfect, but he is incredibly demanding and exhausting. Would people think less of me if I said that I would have aborted him if I knew he would be that way? Of course they would. Why are physical disabilities the deciding factor? Other issues are just as time-consuming and often as expensive. These things are not the measure of quality of life. A little boy with no arms and one leg is just as important as anyone with two arms and two legs. How unfortunate that his parents do not recognize his true value.

  14. by Faith

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    I dont have a child with special needs. shes perfectly healthy. but i could never consider aborting a child that does. People should keep in mind that there are some out in the world who would do anything to have a child even if they needed extra care. To say that you would kill a child because you didnt want to have to see the pain they go through or to have to put in the extra work does not deserve to be a parent. every child is a blessing and should be treated as such. yes its hard but there are programs and groups so to say if i knew he would not have been normal i would not have had him is not acceptable.

  15. by serenitysmommie

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    As a woman who was told in my early 20′s that it was highly UNlikely that I would ever concieve a child of my own, I am so disheartened and crushed by that mother’s statement! I have had a child- concieved, carried and delivered!! It took me 10 years, though. I do praise God that she was born healthy; however had she been anything else, I still would have chosen to have her. She is my special gift, my miracle, and I am a firm believer that NO child is ever a mistake! And it saddens me to think that there are people out there that think a child is just another option, like a sweater they don’t like and return! Just because a child isn’t your idea of “perfect” doesn’t make them any less so. And I want to also say that I know several women that would do and give just about anything to have a child of their own, regardless of what ailments, illnesses, handicaps, or special needs the child may have. Just somethings to concider, before concidering abortion as sinply the way out of a situation that you don’t want to be in.

  16. by Amanda

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    First of all I would like to say that my heart goes out to this mother. I can’t imagine what it was like that your baby has missing limbs. However I can’t imagine her or anyone else loving the child any less for that. I honestly believe that for whatever reason during numerous ultra sounds this went unnoticed for a reason. I believe God has big plans for this child. I hope sharing this youtube video of No Arms, No legs, No worries will help inspire everyone including this woman and her child. I hope she finds what she is looking for in this lawsuit. My prayers go out to you and your family. God be with you and I pray he works wonders in your childs life so that he may have all the opportunities as anyone else in life.

  17. by j

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    Not everyone is psychologically ready to be a parent. Disabled kids are most likely to be abused and most likely to have a father walk out. If they were told, like my OB/GYN told me, that everyone has their own life; if they would have been encouraged to visit a disabled home, get to know people with disabilities and that they have friends and their own society, the parents might have been more prepared ( my child turned out to have no disabilities). I applaud and support companies that go out of their way to hire workers with disabilities. The more exposure disabled people get, the more accepting society will become.

  18. by Natalie

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    I would like to know that the Boy thinks of this. I can understand Abortions for Health issues or bad Mental issues, But Handicap is not one I would think of.

  19. by Kristen

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    I have a special needs child- we had a warning that something might be up with her at the 20 wks ultrasound. Dr came in and said it could be Downs, could be Cystic Fibrosis- we didnt do an amino; just said whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. She was born at 35 wks with Cystic Fibrosis and 22q11 (development delay and speech issues).
    I know of a family thats had two babies born with little to no GI organs (1 lived 83 days; the other 2.5 hrs) and they chose to not abort these beautiful babies and pray. Sadly neither baby were healed and/or lived long but that family feels bruised but blessed to have had Molly and Hudson even for a short amount of time.
    A cousin just gave birth (un expectantly) to a downs baby.

    That boy sadly will learn that his mom saw his disability and the lost it caused to BOTH of them. Yes he cant run or play like the other kids but he’s something special no matter what and he might not get the postive side much.

  20. by Rachel Cytacki

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:23 pm

    I don’t understand how ANYONE can look at their child, their own flesh and blood and even think about having had an abortion!!! I was pro choice and wanted an abortion after an un-planned pregnancy. I hated being pregnant, I hated my life, and I didn’t want the baby. I moved forward with the pregnancy one I found out I was far enough for the baby to have a heartbeat and figured my life was over. Little did I know that my child would be the best thing to ever happen to me. It was love at first site! ABORTION IS MURDER AND THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR A CHILD WITH OUR WITHOUT SPECIAL NEEDS! IT’S UNFORTUNATE THAT A CHILD HAS TO DIE SO A PARENT CAN LIVE AN UNINTERRUPTED LIFE! I AM DISGUSTED!

  21. by Kristi

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    Does every life have value and purpose, is the question? My answer is yes. To abort a special needs child is to say that my comfort and lifestyle is of greater value than that child; that he is she is not worth the sacrifices that would be made; and that there is no purpose in suffering. Unfortunately, that is the outlook of many Americans today. And yes, belief in God makes a difference, because if you believe God has a purpose in every life, then you can go the extra step of trusting him to see how such a child can impact others for good – and he can! This boy’s parents’ time would be better spent finding inspirational role models for their son (like Clay Dyer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob5QHcCGR_g) than complaining that he shouldn’t have been born.

  22. by Serra

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:30 pm

    I could not even fathom aborting a child w/ disabilities or not. When I was pregnant w/ our daughter my doctor asked me if I wanted to do the test where they took amniotic fluid to test for abnormalities. We (my husband and I) denied it. We had wanted this child for so long and now that we had it there was nothing that we were going to do to risk it (taking the test you risk having a miscarriage). We talked it over and as we saw it if our child was to have disabilities then so be it, that’s how God wanted him or her to be. Plus there is a chance that the test could be wrong. We now have a very happy and healthy 6 month old baby girl. I can not believe the words that some of these other mothers are saying. Every child is a true blessing weather they have special needs or not and to utter the words “I would f had an abortion had I of known” is not the words of a mother to me.

  23. by jasmine

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    im a first time mom 18weeks into my pregnacy and because i didnt know i was prego i continued to party like any other 19year old stripper so when i found out i was prego i said special or not this babys mine god wouldnt give me nothing i couldnt handel so i quit working got into church and either way if my babys a needs child or not because god placed this baby in my life the right thing to do is be a humble loving respectable person for my childs sake then mine i hope every woman would feel like that

  24. by carrie

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    i feel sorry for her that she feels that way about her child. i am the mother of 2 special nees children and i wouldnt trade them for anything. i love the challages they bring me everyday. they are a true gift from GOD!!

  25. by Dominique

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:39 pm

    My heart is broken after reading this. How in the world can a mother say, after meeting her child that she would have had an abortion. This is a CHILD a HUMAN, HE is a PERSON, with a heart and soul that deserves a mother who loves him with all of hers. She should be thankful no one told her about it and that she now has this wonderful amazing little boy in her life.

  26. by stephanie

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    she is shelfish..yeah im sure there are alot of things he cant do a normal kid can..but who defines normal neways..maybe she shold have beeb aborted for bein a selfish stubborn ungrateful mom..god put him here for a reason no matter what his disabilites are..he is amazing just like each adn every one of us

  27. by Jennifer

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    It was about 4 yeard ago when I was pregnant with my son and I had an “abnormal” quad screening which is a blood test to check for abnormalities. I was scared out of my mind at the thought of having a child with disabilities. When my son was born he was 8 weeks early and intrauterine growth restricted, but other than that he had no disabilities. He is the love of my life along with my other 2 children and had I aborted him because of the fear of having a child with disabilities I would have missed out on one of Gods greatest gifts and one of the most awesome miracles that I have ever been blessed with. So to answer the question, having had to face it head on, HECK NO! I would not abort a child based on whether or not he/she would be born with disabilities…

  28. by marcy

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    If my mother had access to ultrasound technology prior to my birth, I may not be here today. I don’t really know. However, now that I am here, I can say that life is a tapestry and if one thread is missing, it ruins the whole piece. Each one of us has value that outweighs the pain, strife, and cost that comes with special needs.

  29. by Debbra Carrick

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    I have a special needs child. She has been a wonderful blessing to many people. We never know what might happen to any of us. We could be in an accident and our families would have to sacrifice and take care of us. I think Julie’s comment above is wonderful. To me, that says it all.

  30. by Sarah

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:57 pm

    Wow. I have an “extremely” (according to his physician) healthy 13 month old, and I thank every higher power out there for that every day.

    That being said, I am offended on every level that anyone would judge a woman harshly for considering an abortion. Yes, there are people who would go through heaven and hell to have children; I know this, but is it fair to tell a 14 year old rape victim that she has to go through heaven and hell to fulfill someone else’s dream? I realize that that is an extreme example, but replace 14 year old rape victim with any woman…

    Am I less of a mother to Owen because I say that abortion would be discussed if I was pregnant with a CF (or Down’s, or any other disorder) baby? Absolutely not. No. And the fact that someone would say that I am makes me almost cry.

    I respect your beliefs that abortion is morally wrong, even repugnant, but don’t condemn other people for not agreeing with you. That’s God’s job, or so I’ve heard.

  31. by jenny

    On September 6, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    for me i wouldnt. i have known a few women in my time who did find out and still choose to have their babys even knowing they were gonan die at birth or shortly after. i would pick the same fate for me. i would support them either way

  32. by Jenae

    On September 6, 2011 at 11:01 pm

    Wow. How is this even a question? This is a human life we’re talking about. It’s not ours to decide anyway. God is the giver and taker of life…not us.

    The whole issue is preposterous and sickening. How in the world can someone say or even think they wouldn’t have had their child “had they known”?

  33. by Chris

    On September 6, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    I could never make such a decision based on an ultrasound. Ultrasounds are time and time again wrong. A friend’s baby was suppose to be born with her brain outside of her head, they planned a funeral and she was born fine and is now 3. My niece was suppose to have a large tumor or cyst on her brain…didn’t happen either. Sometimes they say boys are girls, girls are boys, and even miss a twin. My husband’s cousin and a co-worker of mine were suppose to both have downs babies and neither did. And these children were all born within the last six years, using modern ultrasound. I don’t understand how a mother could risk killing a healthy child or any child for that matter.

  34. by Andrea

    On September 6, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    This sounds so similar to a book I read called Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult. It really breaks my heart to here a mother say that she would abort any child. All children are gifts that we need to love no matter what.

  35. by Christy

    On September 6, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    I was told that my daughter would have Downs. I was asked if I wanted to abort. I was insulted and refused. My daughter does not have Downs. They would have killed a perfectly normal little girl.

    If this family is so upset that they have a special needs child, why haven’t they given the child to someone who will care?

  36. by victoria

    On September 6, 2011 at 11:13 pm

    I totally understand that mothers point of view…granted, I cant imagine keeping that view after holding that little boy in their arms and looking into his eyes…

    Im a first time mother of a perfectly healthy and beautiful little girl, but while pregnant I made the decision to terminate if I learned there was any serious issue. Never under any normal cercumstances but I know myself well enough to know that I would never be able to care for a special needs child the way they would deserve.

    I knew myself and I knew my limits. Fortunatly, that wasent a choice I had to make and today I have one of the most amazing and beautiful little girls in the world and I can not for even a second imagine my life without her.

  37. by Kim

    On September 6, 2011 at 11:30 pm

    I think it may all depend on what type of disability. There are some when the kids won’t live past a few years of life that I may consider aborting. When I was pregnant with my youngest daughter, now 5 months old, I was told that there was a high probability that she may have Down’s Syndrome. I think normal odds are 1 in 1600 or some number above 1000. Test results showed my odds to be 1 in 56. I was heart broken because being told this 4 months into the pregnancy, there was no way I wanted to go through with an abortion. I wanted the doctors to redo the test, but this was before I was told that redoing the test wasn’t going to result in a drastic changed from 1 in 56 up to 1 in 1000+. I had to go to a fetal and maternal health specialist to discuss amniocentesis and have additional ultrasounds. My husband didn’t want to risk a miscarriage from the amnio if everything was normal, so we decided that whatever our daughter’s fate (found out the sex from the specialist) we would accept it and love her the same. Up until 7-8 months of pregnancy, the thought was always in the back of my mind whether my daughter would be completely mentally healthy, and then I just forgot about it. Even while giving birth, I didn’t think about it. When she was born, my husband yelled out-”Oh my God…She’s beautiful,” and I knew everything was okay.

    So now that I made this comment longer than necessary, I’ll end by saying every life is a blessing, no matter how long it may last, and we can’t tell others how they should feel about situations like this. Who really knows what the right decision is when we don’t know what is going on in the mind of those that are disabled.

  38. by Kimberly

    On September 6, 2011 at 11:36 pm

    When I was pregnant with my son I had a triple screen test which after I did some research on it found out it had a 80% chance coming back positive for a Downs baby. When my Dr. got the results back he told me I had a 1 in a 100 chance of having a Down’s baby! My husband and I refused the amniocentesis for it would only say that he had it and not to what degree. If that was God wanted for us than that’s what would be. But our baby boy was fine! Regardless if he would have been a Down’s baby we would have loved him no less!!!

  39. by tracie

    On September 6, 2011 at 11:39 pm

    I am a Mom of a Epileptic Son and a Tourettes Daughter and I would never thought of aborting them!! My kids are my heart and without them I would not be me!! I love being a Mom!!!!!!

  40. by Heidi

    On September 6, 2011 at 11:44 pm

    It is an extremely difficult quandary; would I abort a baby with genetic defects or special needs? No, but it would be so hard, so very hard to go through a whole pregnancy knowing that your baby is not going to be born healthy, and will not be able to live the life that you have imagined for him/her. I do have sympathy for a mother who is trying to come to terms with that reality. On the other hand, there are no guarantees in life, babies that are perfectly formed can suffer from infections or childbirth complications that can be just as devastating as genetic defects, and there is no way of predicting those kinds of medical problems. Maybe the real trouble is the expectation that all new parents have of having a “perfect” baby; everyone wants (even expects) a conventionally beautiful baby with genius level intelligence and there is bound to be disappointment when that is not the case.

  41. by Katie

    On September 7, 2011 at 12:01 am

    When I think of how often those screening tests are wrong, it makes my stomach turn for all the babies whose lives were taken based on those results.

    I can easily understand the fear of the unknown, as having a special needs child was my biggest fear with both of my pregnancies. However, what blows my mind is a mother being able to face her son and say “I wish I had aborted you.” My daughter is fifteen months younger than my son and when she was conceived, I was deep in the trenches of postpartum depression and anxiety disorder. She was not planned and I was terrified. The nurse at my OBs office told me that many women who find themselves with an unplanned two under two seriously consider terminating. I could never do that, and now I look at my daughter and literally delight in her every single day. Just because things did not go as planned does not mean I could ever for one second look her in the face and wish she were not here.

  42. by Bella

    On September 7, 2011 at 12:30 am

    I am not a mother. So, maybe my opinion doesn’t mean much to all of you. One of my best friends recently had a baby with Downs and a club foot. While I wasn’t sure that she could handle it, she was. I would never consider abortion as an option for anything. God has a reason for bringing children with disabilities into the world. If you can’t handle having a child like that, there’s always adoption. Just be grateful that you were able to have a child. There are so many women in this world who can’t have children and that’s all they want. I’m sure many of them would be proud to care for that child. If God thought you couldn’t handle it, he wouldn’t have put you through it.

  43. by Stephanie

    On September 7, 2011 at 12:35 am

    I think this is crazy to go so far as to tell people you would d have aborted your child a they said before you never know what the real diagnosis will be but I have a son with multiple disabilities and yes he has been through so much in his short little life buthe is one of the happiest children I know of course he will never do things like some children but he is perfect! Although we didnt know during pregnancy of any problems I would have never chosen abortion and would feel like the worst person ever to admit I wanted an abortion just because the road may be a little more difficult in taking care of him! I honestly dont know how this woman can live with herself! I am now pregnant with my second child and as of now there are no problems but even knowing anything could happen I would always choose to keep my child and do the best for them ensuring they have everything they need and I am a strong advocate for them! My children are ecerything to me and no disability would ever change that, thats a mother you love them snd protect them no matter what not chose to bail if there is going to be hard times ahead!

  44. by Dana Osuna

    On September 7, 2011 at 2:50 am

    I find it appalling that any mother would ever say out loud that they would have aborted their baby (who is alive to ever find out she said it). There isn’t a circumstance where I would abort. I don’t create life, therefore I don’t end life. Life doesn’t come out of every sexual experience, not even every time it happens to be the proper time of month. This makes it clear to me there is a hand above mine involved in its creation, so who am I to even begin to try to determine whether the life will be worth living.

  45. by kia

    On September 7, 2011 at 3:44 am

    If I knew then that my son was going to have autisM I would of had him anyway and as for having a physically challenged child I am not sure what I would of done.Loving him still none~the less but not sure how we might handle that situation!!!

  46. by so much to give

    On September 7, 2011 at 3:51 am

    I’m pretty certain the mom said those things to sway a jury, but I can not imagine how her child will feel when he sees/hears those words. Even if that child is her whole heart now, the damage is done. My child was devastated when reading this. I have to wonder if she’s sees the full potential of her child or if she only sees the disabilities…if she’s helping him live to his full potential. So many great people have achieved so many great things despite the obstacles they’ve been dealt and had to overcome. I know first hand that parenting a child with disabilities is more difficult than most can possibly fathom, but with great work comes great reward. My child is encouraged to live life to the fullest…to appreciate what has been given and not dwell on what has been missing/taken away. I knew before giving birth that the road would be rough and there are days when I break down. There are days when my child breaks down. That is life. Some days are just easier than others. Did I debate abortion? Heck no. Did I worry, mourn, cry, scream, etc? Yep. Would life sometimes be easier with a child sans disabilities? In some ways, I’m sure it would. But, my child’s imperfections are beautiful. My child’s character is amazing. My child’s confidence is rarely shaken. My child’s enthusiasm is contagious. My child’s life is a gift. Of course, I am biased ;)
    Oh and if anyone needs a bit of inspiration (like we do sometimes)…this guy is awesome! http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/

  47. by willow

    On September 7, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    I understand what she’s saying because I did have a right NT scan at my 10 week ultrasound. I had a cvs to determine his genetics. Turns out no downsyndrom however he might still have heart problems. If my testing had come back positive for ds we wouldv terminated the pregnancy. I can’t see purposely bringing a human into the world who would always have medical problems. I know I’m not strong enuf to handle it. I know to some of u it sounds weak but after a ton of research I just couldn’t do that to a child of mine. I already have one son who is perfectly healthy and it wouldn’t be fair to him or the other child to live their lives like that if its avoidable. However I still might have complications and its very scary. But no matter what I will do the best I can for this son who’s been kicking so much in my ever expanding belly. I’m being watched more closely and have more and Korea ultrasounds. So far everything seems fine but we won’t know until he’s born for sure. I can sympathize with that mother and the grief of knowing her child has been limited when itto couldv been avoided.

  48. by Amy

    On September 7, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    With both of my girls I decided not to have any of the testing done to see if my child would have any disabilities. We only had routine blood work for me and of course ultrasound. We did want to know the sex, I couldn’t wait. Lol. But for us the decision bot to have those tests was easy because, Reguardless the outcome we would still have our girls. Yes they r healthy. But had the year come back that one of them wouldn’t be I knew I would have them anyway and why spend ur pregnancy stressing about something u can’t change. Deal with it when the time comes. Children are a blessing, and all children deserve to have a place on this earth with or without disabilities. That woman putting on record she would have aborted her son, for whatever reason, breaks my heart. That is on record… and her son when he grows up could hear that. I don’t know. I understand when faced with it that would be such a hard decision to make, but in our case that is why we didn’t want to be faced with it at all and opted not to have the tests. God gives is our children the way they r meant to be. They r here for a reason. Trays just my opinion. Don’t want to step on any toes. Others make decisions that are right for their families and we make ones that are right for ours…..

  49. by Wendy

    On September 7, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    This story just breaks my heart. It makes you wonder if this same woman had a totally healthy year old child, who was drastically injured or maimed in some kind of accident, would kill the child after that. The situation is no different. A human being is being killed in either case because of a disability that someone deems makes this child’s life not worth living. All children are created by God and made in his image. That makes them special and that makes their life worth living!

  50. by Tamara

    On September 7, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    Having grown up with a brother with severe mental and physical disabilities, I know that it can be really tough to manage. My Mother has been taking care of a baby, (albeit a 140lb one) for the last 39 years. It is very important to have a meaningful support system in place for these children and their families. With such a support system in place, those of us who have direct experience with people with special needs know that their contributions to our lives are unique and invaluable. I would never trade my brother for a “normie”. The idea that children with special needs should be aborted so that they will avoid “suffering” seems a bit absurd. I am sure that there are diseases where great physical pain is followed by early death, and that we would all want to avoid this scenario. But to try and protect children from suffering the inability to do certain things or from not being “normal” just doesn’t make sense. Should you abort your child because they might have a car accident and become disabled? Should you abort your child because they might not be good at sports or because they might have social difficulties? Should you abort them so that they will never face the suffering caused by the death of a loved one, or a broken heart? No life is lived without suffering.

  51. by Elizabeth Carr

    On September 7, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    I would agree to have a special needs child, because they are the most precious of all God’s children. Their’s is a special relationship, one of giving. You give everything you have and then some, while you pray to be releaved of stress, to get a good night’s rest, to be stronger…the list goes on. Yet what you gain from a special needs child is more than what you give.

    I personally hope this mom doesn’t win the law suit. What does it prove? What will winning change? Will she give up her son now? Will she stop having children? At the same time, if she doesn’t take care of her son, as he requires then she should not have that right to be his mother anymore.

  52. by Maria

    On September 7, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    I was blessed w/two wonderful little girls 11 mths apart. Both times I turned down the amnieo (?). My first daughter was 6 wks early stayed in NICU for 12 days. Perfectly healthy! My second daughter was diagnosed w/autism @ 2 . At first I was scared. Autism always scared me. But now, I believe that God picked ME to be a mommy to my autistic daughter for a reason. He trust me to love and care for her as I should. Her disability IS NOT a disability to me, it’s who she is. If I could’ve seen the future, I would’ve done nothing different. My girls are my blessings. I pray for the little boy. But his “disability” is what God has planned for him. God makes no mistakes.

  53. by barb

    On September 7, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    I have a Son who is severly mentally retarded. I did know prior to his birth that he would have special needs. I chose to keep a life that God had given me because for a reason at that time unknown to me, there was a reason I was to be his mother. I love my son with all my heart and have learned to love everything about him. He is the most loving child one could ever imagine having. He is 10 now and functions on a 2year old level. I have a new love for the terrible two’s. I learn and grow so much from watching my son. He teaches us all new things we were never open to discover before. I am a single mother who works and raises my son alone. I am okay with it because that means that i get all the hugs and kisses. As far as this mother who says she would have aborted her child, she is money hungry and only wants to get the money. They should take her child from her because if she would have killed the baby then she is capable of killing it now. We have too many women killing their kids, we don’t need anymore. I am sure there are soooo many families who would love to adopt the child and give it all the love it deserves. He is one of God’s very special angels.

  54. by April

    On September 7, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    I have 3 boys and my youngest who is 18 was born with down syndrome. I was notified by my OBGYN when I was about 9-10 weeks pregnant that he was going to have some sort of birth defect and he advised me to have an amnio and see a genetic counselor and make a decision about continuing with the pregnancy or having an abortion. My only thought at the time was I don’t want him to spend his life suffering in pain. If he was going to have special needs and medical expenses did not cross my mind at all. After the amnio and we had a definitive diagnosis I was really excited to be lucky enough to be having such a special child. He has brought a special meaning to our lives and has an impact on everyone he meets. Yes there have been difficult moments but we all have those.

  55. by Amber

    On September 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    I work at an adult foster care home. Each and every person living in that home are mentally or physically disabled in some way, some born that way and others in an accident. Some might say that they don’t have the same quality of life as someone normal. Working there I question what quality of life means to someone. I know those adults are cared for by staff that is rewarded by far more than just a paycheck. All in all most of the residents are very happy. Each have their own little quirks, likes and dislikes.
    A poem in every resident’s room.
    http://www.our-kids.org/archives/Heavens_special_child.html

  56. by Chris Arnel

    On September 7, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    I completely understand this mother and would have chosen to have an abortion should I have been given proper information. The fact that the physician failed to inform the parents of the handicap is unethical and unprofessional, unless is totally incompetent. Providing information is not pushing future parents to chose an abortion, but giving the information so that they can make en educated choice.

  57. by Kristin

    On September 7, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    Have you ever looked into the eyes of a women who has experienced an abortion? Have you ever held her in your arms as she cried in shame and horror as she recounted her memory of that day? Most likely not, because she does not want to share what happened or the choice she made…she knew as much as you know that your arm is a part of your body, that what was inside of her was her child. She feels shamed into secret dark places that wound her daily. On the due date she marks the passage of time that would have been a child’s birthday and is instead a reminder of the evil thing that has been done. I have held the hurt woman and I know it is no choice – only the choice to been broken-hearted for a lifetime. There may seem to be good reasons to end a life, but when the life is ended none of them truely seem good enough to say you are proud that your did it. Think about it. Abortion says its the mother’s right…really its the mother’s torment.

  58. by hyd

    On September 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    Having a kid with disability is hard, but if parents have chosen to abort the baby because of this, I’m sure it will be more difficult. Not knowing what could have been is an endless suffering. They should be thankful that the doctor delivered the baby.

  59. by tbm

    On September 7, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    Its sad to see these parents be so selfish. God put this child on this earth for a reason. They need to cherish every moment with him, and help him through the tough times. Not sue just to get millions of dollars from a hospital.

  60. by Jill Cordes

    On September 7, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    Hey there. Your fellow Parents blogger here. I just want to say that this is an amazing blog and question you put out there. I had a CVS to rule out defects (or at least what they can test for). I’d like to think I would be the person to keep my baby no matter what, but I honestly don’t know. I’m just so grateful to not have to make that excruciating decision. There are a lot of brave, courageous women out there who have commented on this, you included. Thanks for the post.

  61. by Allison

    On September 8, 2011 at 5:43 am

    My son has a x linked genetic disease that causes blindness, and eventual hearing loss. Because it is a vascular disease we might see some cognitive delays in the future. We were unprepared for the diagnosis. We are using pre-implantation genetic diagnosis to have baby number two. And, if we are pregnant with a boy we will have an amnio. Abortion is not an option. But, being prepared could save our future son’s sight.

  62. by Gale

    On September 8, 2011 at 8:54 am

    I am a mother of a twin daughter who cant walk, talk and has some tremors in her good hand because, of a car accident. I didnt know she was going to be in an accident at 16yrs old, no more than if, it had happened at 1day, 1mth or 1yr. She was on life support and I had to make the decision to give her a chance or take her off machines. I went with my faith in God and gave her a chance. I took her home after being told she would only have 10% chance to live in a 9mth coma. She graduated with her Sr Class 8mths later on The National Honor Society from using sign language with one hand that she remembered from 3rd grade. This yr Nov 17th will be 9yrs and she still is fighting and improving. I would not have changed what choice I made because, she has shown she has a heart and soul. This story saddens me because it makes me also think of all our wounded warriors who have no arms, legs and even part of a skull and brain from war. Are we suppose to treat them as if they arent human too? I dont think so!!! The movie “Soul Surfer” and the documentaries after the movie is a movie to watch. Brings tears to everyone who has watched it from the strength and faith that young girl had at 13yrs old. I think if this family cant deal with it then, before another child loses his life because they cant deal with it, something needs to be done for his safety. I lost a twin at 2 1/2 yrs old that drown and his identical twin brother at 23 yrs old in a car accident the yr before my twin girls separate wrecks. I am so glad God Blessed me to be here to fight for my kids lives and make me who I am today. I am blessed with the grandkids that have survived and the twins that have gotten better day by day.

  63. by Kae

    On September 8, 2011 at 9:17 am

    I understand the mother’s emotions. But perhaps there are things better said to your therapist rather than put onto record in court (and, hence, onto the Internet) where anyone can read them–including the child in question.

    As far as the case itself…I know that ultrasounds are a bit hit-or-miss. I’d have to see the screen captures to be able to say, “oh, heck yeah, there are OBVIOUSLY no arms there! The doctor is an idiot!” I’ll also admit that getting along with three missing limbs would be difficult, but I don’t think…for me…that it would be a reason to end the pregnancy. I’m afraid that the mother might be overlooking all the possibilities and options that lie open to young Bryan, from prosthetic limbs to voice command technology. His life is not over because of his situation…it’s just different from what was expected. But, then…life often is.

  64. by Liz

    On September 8, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    I am raising my 2 1/2 yr old granddaughter who has cerebral palsy and I have learned more from her than at any other time in my 48 years. She loves hugs and kisses. She enjoys playing with her little brother and cousins. What we take for granted…like raising your arms, is very difficult for her but she is stubborn and works very hard with her therapist. They told us she’d be a vegetable. Well doctors aren’t God. She is very active in her own way. She plays with adaptive toys and loves music. Children are a gift from God. We dont have the right to pick and chose who lives and who dies.

  65. by Anon

    On September 8, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    Yes, I would have aborted a child iwth special needs–although it depends on what the problem was and the possible level of disability. (There are special needs and then there are *special needs.*) I say this as the godmother of a boy born with severe birth defects due to a rare genetic defect. He was the sweetest thing, and we all loved him terribly and mourned his death at age three. But he suffered greatly during his life, poor baby. That’s one thing that few people mention when they talk about children with disabilities–many of them do suffer, and not just because they can’t do what other kids do, they suffer in *pain* because of their disabilities. Because of that baby, when I got pregnant, I went through every kind of testing I could (and was eligible for a lot due to my age and health history) and I would have aborted a fetus with major defects, even though I desperately wanted a baby and I greatly loved that child as soon as I knew I was pregnant. It would have broken my heart, but I would have done it.

  66. by Pencils

    On September 8, 2011 at 10:09 pm

    Kristin on Sept 7th–yes, I have looked into the eyes of women who have had abortions–I know many women who have had them. So do you, considering how many women in this country have had abortions. I don’t know any women who are tortured by the memory though, and all the ones I know would scoff at the very idea. Their abortions were sad episodes, but mostly they were relieved. (No, I’ve never had an abortion, I was always very careful.) The truth is that very few women are tortured by the memory of their abortion, and the ones who are, probably are being preyed upon by people like you, who want to shame women. You can look it up, BTW, although I doubt you will, as your mind is most likely already made up–studies have shown that few women are bothered by their abortions.

  67. by MommaTMM

    On September 9, 2011 at 12:55 am

    The question at hand isn’t if the child now has value , it’s that the mother should make the choice. Not a technition or the doctor.It is her choice to make. It is not ok for the Doc to decide what to share and what to keep secret from parents. That would make him playing God. He doesn’t have to agree to perform the abortion if it is agaist his beliefs, but it is his responiblity to provide ALL the need info to make an informed decision.

  68. by Think Ahead

    On September 9, 2011 at 8:05 am

    What happens when this kid grows up and reads this?

  69. by Mike Johnson

    On September 9, 2011 at 9:06 am

    “My hindsight is clouded by my love for my son”

    They say hindsight is 20/20 because our perspective becomes clearer over time, not cloudy. Looking back on the how your son has blessed to your life and your seeing him experience the life you gave him to opportunity to live, the idea of erasing all that seems absurd. That’s because it is.

    Ana Mejia hasn’t had the opportunity for much hindsight yet in terms of her newborn. She is obviously conflicted between her selfish repulsion of heavy responsibility for the life she bore and something else that should be obvious about all of people made in the image of God: Her son has “great value.”

  70. by Myson

    On September 9, 2011 at 9:29 am

    What? where is this lady from and has she lost custody of her child yet? My son has one leg and his one arm only has 1 finger on it and he can run and play fine! He climbs the playground equipment, writes, etc… Hoping she shows her son love and doesn’t just say ‘look at those kids playing too bad you can’t’. Would she kill herself if she was in an auto accident and lost all her limbs?

  71. by Taren

    On September 9, 2011 at 10:48 am

    I think we are all forgetting one thing in this equation. The guilt. As a mother even though I know I did NOTHING to cause a genetic problem or a disability to my child the guilt would eat me alive. I have a very healthy son now and should be having my next in oct with no problems but I can see where this mother’s statement came from. Her own misery and blame. She sees it as she did this to him and probably feels he will blame her if he doesn’t already. Until you can feel your child inside you or see them in an ultrasound they don’t feel tangeble or real. I know even though my son was planned I didn’t feel the love I do now for him because I didn’t KNOW him. As soon as he was giving me nudges and pokes he felt real to me and I knew I wanted to hold him more than anything. She probably feels the only way to make up for what she sees as a life with nothing but limits for him is to give him everything she can. Well you need money to do it. Sadly this is probably the only way she feels she can achieve that. I pity her.

  72. by Megan

    On September 9, 2011 at 11:25 am

    I don’t see this as a mother who doesn’t love her child… I see this as a greving parent who hasn’t come to terms with her child’s issues yet. Not all of us are cut out to have a child with disabilities. Those of us that do can testify that it can be a rough road. We do it because it’s worth it, because our kids are worth it, because we love them and can’t imagine our lives without them.

    But…

    Given the choice to have that same child be “normal” or just the way he/she is would you honestly choose the disability for them? I would not. I love my son with all my heart and his CP is part of what makes him who he is, but I would sorely love to see him run and jump and climb and swim and ride a bike and roller skate unencumbered by limbs that don’t work right. I would love his seizures to go away and for him not to aspirate into his lungs and for his spine to be straight. And his CP is very mild. I can only imagine what it’s like when the disability is more severe.

    Instead of demonizing this woman, we should be reaching out to her and letting her know that she’s not alone and that her son will surprise her if she doesn’t give up and that it will get better.

  73. by kadiera

    On September 9, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    You know, the articles I’ve read on this are heartbreaking, and I think there’s a lot of counseling in this child’s future, but regardless of the mother’s statements, you have to wonder about the competence of the technicians who missed physical issues as large as they’re describing. Did the parents even watch the ultrasounds?

  74. by Heather

    On September 9, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    All children are Gods creation. We do not have the right to choose our children. They are all a Blessing and deserve the right to live. My child has had many things happen in his 5 yrs. of life. And you know what….I do believe his heart is bigger than anybody I know. I would not change anything. He fills my heart everyday and I feel BLESSED beyond words to have him in my life. Shame on this woman. Her child is perfect. Let him feel that he is Perfect! God Bless this child as I feel there is alot of healing to do in this Mothers Heart. A child is yours forever….money does not last and does not love you back.

  75. by Valeire Strohl

    On September 9, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    Jodi Picoult wrote a book entitled “Handle with Care”, which told the story of a wrongful birth lawsuit. I tossed it off the balcony of our vacation home and in to the ocean about 2/3 of the way through it. This is very upsetting, and yes, none of us probably boarded this disability train of our own will, but this is cruel. Hopefully this little boy will never know how his mom felt.

  76. by Galen

    On September 9, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    OK, the parents “won,” whatever that means in this situation. Now I hope that they use the settlement money to get their son the best therapy, prosthetics, and adaptive technology available. And, just as important, I hope they get counseling for themselves, because their son needs parents who love and accept and encourage him for who he is.

  77. by MelissaP

    On September 10, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    I cannot believe some of the comments I am reading on this. This mother never said she didn’t love her child or that she loved him any less because of his disabilities! Nor did she say that her life was disrupted in any way! This child does not just have a mental disability! Did you miss the part where he has only one leg and no arms??? Imagine how your life would be if you were this child! I work with children with disabilities of all types. One of the kids has one leg and one arm. This child comes from an excellent family that couldn’t love him more. Yet he is very depressed and has very low quality of life. He doesn’t understand why his parents would choose to have him knowing he was going to have these problems. Sometimes you have to think about how your child’s life will be and how they will feel about their disability. They are the ones who suffer in the long run. This little boy I am referring to is now 13. I could never imagine having to be faced with this decision and would NEVER judge anyone for their decision they make. There was one person on here that said she was going to have an abortion because she hated being pregnant and thought it would ruin her life but then decided to go through with the pregnancy only because the baby had a heart beat! Then you beat this mother down and say she is selfish for saying what she did? How dare you! You had a perfectly healthy baby and was going to abort it! You make me sick for even commenting on this! Just put yourself in this women’s situation or better yet, her child’s situation before pointing your judgemental fingers! God bless this child and his family!

  78. by sharon

    On September 10, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    I greatly admire all you happy moms of special needs children, but I am not one of them. I terminated my pregnancy when we learned that the baby had a major heart defect. It was operable, but there were risks associated with it that would have caused a lifetime of anxiety, assuming he survived at all, and with his mental faculties intact. I’d like to say I thought of his burden to society, or even his own suffering, and I did, but mostly I thought how devastating it would be to me, my husband, and my daughter, even assuming best case scenario. I had to birth him in the hospital, and it was horrible and agonizing and devastating, but I never questioned that I made the right decision for me and my family.

    I was sure at the time that my friend, who has a daughter born severely premature, would counsel me to keep the baby, because I know how devoted she is to her daughter – but she didn’t. She told me how she suffered not knowing if her child would survive, of the anxiety she still endures, of how time-consuming it is taking care of her daughter, and of the pain of the other mothers whose babies didn’t make it, and she told me to terminate. But I would never question her love and sacrifice for her daughter.

    Some other good friends of mine has a DS baby. They love him dearly. But, as they put it, they would love him just as dearly without that extra chromosome.

    Happily, I adhere to a religion where abortion is not forbidden, and where the mother’s physical and emotional health is paramount. Others don’t, and I respect their decisions just as I am entitled to my own.

  79. by HS

    On September 11, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    We adopted a special needs child at eight years. He is a good child. If I could go back though, I would not have adopted. I worgive me if it is not an exact quote.ould not have even fostered. It is not t rue when they say “To have loved and lost is better than never to have loved at all.”

  80. by jennifer

    On September 12, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    I believe that if we are blessed with a child with special needs..We should be so lucky for the love and the mind opening experience it brings us!! I knew my child would have spina bifida and hydrocephalous at 16 weeks pregnant! The doctors never know what the full impairments will be!!But, we did not get pregnant just to have an abortion!! Life is not supposed to be easy..It is what you choose to get out of it!! My precious little girl is my hero!! she effects everyone around her in such positive ways!! she is the worlds teacher!! No amount of money would make a difference to me!! i understand the doctors huge mistake..but u made the mistake of making the abortion comment!!I wish only great things for your son!! He will surprise you his life has worth!!

  81. by Elizabeth Carr

    On September 12, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    I commented early on, and have since gone back to read the newer comments. I must say, that my eyes have been opened in the sense that I know motherhood is extremely hard at times, but so very rewarding also. I just want to say now, that having to make the life or death call would be super hard. I can’t imagine what the life of a child such as Bryan and even the life of his family (especially the mother) would be like even 20 years ago, when technology wasn’t have what it is today.
    Everyone is blessed with a gift from God. Free agency: with choice, to choose. What we do with this gift is up to us, and we answer only to our Lord and Savior.
    Life isn’t easy, but living the best we can will make life worth it. No one knows how strong the next person is, or what their weaknesses are. We’re all human, which means we all have weaknesses and strengths, but not always the same as the next person.
    Good luck to this family, may they be strengthened through the Lord. May the mother receive the help she needs to live a happy life. May the son receive the love and support he needs to know he is special in a good way. May the father love, provide for and protect his family as a father should.

  82. by GH

    On September 13, 2011 at 7:20 am

    So many people having the knee-jerk reaction “Oh my God I can’t believe she’d say she would have ABORTED her kid!” is ridiculous.
    We live in a litigious culture, and sometimes things really are acts of God or plain accidents that no doctor could ever avoid. But to miss THREE MISSING LIMBS over the course of SEVEN ultrasounds? That’s malpractice.
    My money’s on this is in some Southern state, in some wacky practice that is religiously aligned and failed to tell that to the parents. No mentioned of this over not one, not two, but 7 ultrasounds? Somebody oughtta lose their license.

  83. [...] a post by one of my Twitter acquaintances, a fellow special needs mom, Ellen Seidman entitled A MOM SAYS SHE WOULD HAVE ABORTED HER CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS.  The article eerily brought to reality a novel I had read by Jodi Picoult this summer,  HANDLE [...]

  84. by Katie

    On September 15, 2011 at 9:06 am

    No, I wouldn’t kill my disabled child if I had the chance.

    “I terminated my pregnancy” is just a prettied up way of saying “I paid a doctor to tear my baby apart limb from limb because she was defective.” I am absolutely judgmental about it. It’s never okay to murder an innocent human being, period. I’m a rape and incest survivor, I was a teen mom, and I have a disabled child…I’d be the poster child for multiple abortions, but instead I gave my children LIFE because theirs were not mine to take.

  85. by Kim

    On September 15, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    As a mom myself, I can state that if I were in that mother’s situation, I would also have sued. Certainly there are some things that cannot be decidedly determined in utero, but missing three limbs? Everyone’s talking mostly about how she states she would have had an abortion, but wouldn’t you also consider bringing up a law suit? Had her doctors and ultrasound technicians told her what was going on, she could have had the information to make a decision. Perhaps she wouldn’t have decided to abort after all, but might have instead at least had some time to be mentally prepared for have a child with special needs. If her main reason to abort was that her financial situation was not such that she could comfortably take care of a special needs child, then perhaps that’s why the lawsuit was brought up. Now the family definitely has the means to make sure that their child has every opportunity that he can. I can’t stand people jumping to the idea that abortion is wrong in all circumstances. You have to consider the quality of life issue. If the only thing wrong with this little boy is that he is missing most of his limbs, then he is going to realize for all of his life that he is different, and he is probably going to wonder why his mother didn’t have an abortion. His family can do everything they can for him, but that won’t give him the ability to get through school without needing extensive help, or to never have moments where he is overwhelmed with jealousy about what other kids take for granted. As medical professionals, doctors are responsible for giving you the most accurate information they can about the formation of your child. If they neglect to inform you about MISSING ARMS AND LEGS, they you have to wonder what else they’re being neglectful about. Every ultrasound that I got from the multiple doctors in the practice I visited all made sure that there were no physical deformities that they could see. They check head, torso, arms, legs, pelvis, etc. To either not notice that limbs were missing or to be negligent in reporting those facts to the mother in whose womb that baby was forming, is simply horrible. And any woman who questions her want to have had that knowledge doesn’t really get the technology we live with. By getting an ultrasound, you are relying on technology and trained technicians to give you the kind of information that you otherwise wouldn’t be able to know. By paying for these services, you expect to get what you paid for. Do you bring your car in for a diagnostic and think it’s okay if they neglect to tell you that you need new rotors, plus your radiator has a leak?

  86. by Marie

    On September 16, 2011 at 6:29 am

    I would think that if the child was going to have some sort of problem that would be painful or cause him to suffer a great deal, then I would consider it. Otherwise, every life is worthy. Every child, special needs or not, will touch someones life in some special way.

  87. by prnc

    On September 16, 2011 at 11:06 am

    It is very easy to say what you would or would not do, until you are faced with the situation. Many of you are rushing to judge the mother of this boy for basically, being honest. Some of you would terminate, some wouldn’t. Fine. As mentioned above, parents need to have all the information available to make decisions. I certainly question the expertise of the ultrasound technician and/or the physician, whose job it is to diagnose and inform. Whenever cases like this occur, it is because someone didn’t do what they were supposed to, someone didn’t carefully examine the ultrasound photos. Ultrasounds exist that are like photos of the fetus, where you can see actual facial features, it is incredible to me that even with the most basic ultrasound, missing limbs weren’t noticed, as a matter of fact measuring the limbs is one of the ways of dating a pregnancy by ultrasound. If there had been just one ultrasound, it might be excused by thinking the position of the fetus obscured view of the other limbs, but seven?

  88. by Dana

    On September 17, 2011 at 1:49 am

    For me, if it were a disability like Downs that might come with some risky defects (they tend to have heart problems) BUT I knew ahead of time that it was possible for my child to have a decent life, relatively pain-free (no life is ever completely free of pain), then no, I would not get an abortion.

    But if it were a genetic disorder like Tay-Sachs disease where my child was guaranteed to die early, and especially in a very painful way, you bet I would terminate.

    See, when I become a mother it is a contract between myself and my child that I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure they have a decent childhood and are safe and looked after. As far as I’m concerned, it is more about them than it is about me. That means that I give them the chance to flourish and grow up and pursue happiness to the best of my ability.

    And in some cases that means I would carry to term and in others it would mean I take matters into my own hands. Because giving birth to a child who will hurt and who will not live to adulthood is cruel and abusive.

    Even if you think it would make you a better person. Because guess what? It’s not all about you. If you are only having kids to do something for yourself, you’re having them for the wrong reasons. Get a potted plant instead.

    Harsh, but needs to be said.

    (In case anyone’s curious, no, I don’t consider cerebral palsy a problem that would be horrible and painful and life-shortening. I once had a therapist with CP. It’s a type of motor function disorder originating in the brain, hence the name–and once you have compensated for that, many of them go on to have good lives. Hardly a death sentence. And you can’t find CP on an ultrasound or in a genetic test in any case.)

  89. by Joy

    On September 19, 2011 at 8:47 am

    This is the problem with equating a fetus to a child. They are not the same. Thirty years ago, I had a miscarriage between my first and second child. According to the doctor, my own body recognized a defect and aborted the fetus. If that fetus had not been aborted naturally, I would not have my wonderful second child, who I love dearly. No, I don’t mourn the naturally aborted fetus. I would mourn the loss of one of my children forever and I am certain that applies to parents of children with special needs. But, if their body had aborted the fetus through a miscarriage or if a person had made a decision to have an abortion, they would not mourn the fetus and they would love any children that followed that occurrence.

  90. by TCG

    On September 23, 2011 at 10:15 am

    These parents are hideous people. I can’t believe they said their child will live a “horrific life” just because he is missing his arms and legs! My child was born with an undiagnosed genetic disorder that is deadly. While this is not what we wanted for our child or our family, she is an absolute joy and at nearly 11 months old is defying the odds! We can’t imagine our lives without her. I would never consider her disabilities to be a “horrific life.” The only reason that will be true for this poor boy is because his parents don’t believe in his abilities and have a bad attitude about the situation rather than loving and enjoying every precious moment they have with their son!

  91. by Richell

    On September 23, 2011 at 11:02 am

    The second time I got pregnant I was 19. My boyfriend (now husband), my mom & I went to the u/s to find out the gender (16wk gest), but instead got an ackward silence in the room while the u/s tech took longer than normal, measuring this & measuring that. She told us our baby’s gender then took us to the lobby while she notified the Dr of her findings. That felt like an eternity. Finally we go back to the room to talk with the Dr who was extremely jittery like he didn’t want to tell us. Our daughter was to be born with Spina Bifida and he gave us a very vague description of the disability. I cried all the way home thinking my kid was basically going to be a prisioner of her own body – no talking or moving, ever. We got home & just researched & researched while I waited for the Genetic Counselors to call with an appt. This lady every single time we saw her tried to force abortion on me – 8wks worth – and eventually blamed it on me being Catholic for not wanting it since “patients before me had one’. It never crossed my young mind that I wanted to murder my child just because God decided to give me a special gift. Now 4yo you’d never know anything was wrong with her :) She truly is a gift from God and we feel blessed to have her in our life!

  92. by Eileen

    On September 23, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    I adopted my amazing daughter when she was 3 years old. Her birth mom chose to take Methamphetamines and who knows what else. She was born prematurely and had sepsis and meningitus at birth leading to hydrocephaly. At age 7 she developed complex partial seizures. I’m really glad that her mom continued with the pregnancy. My daughter is a gift from god.

  93. by bri

    On September 25, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    my sister was born with down syndrome, due to my parent’s old age
    i may be 14 years old, but i understand much of the world and abortion is something i believe is never right
    every child has the right to live a life
    my mom knew her baby would be special yet the consideration of abortion never crossed her mind

  94. by Joy

    On September 26, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    I admire the courage of parents who have special needs children, and respect and admire those that find out about a serious health problem in utero and go forward with their pregnancy.

    But please don’t judge the women who don’t make that decision; you never know the story behind it. Mental or physical illness, divorce, abuse, poverty….are things you may not be able to fathom, but they are very real considerations. And a child deserves to be born into a stable situation.

    Certainly, adoption is a solution…but special needs children are not always easily adopted. And the pregnancy itself might be more than the woman can deal with.

    As a single mother myself, who has struggled with depression and known the fear of not being there for my one healthy child, I don’t think I could knowingly bring a child with sever special needs into the world, fearing I may not be able to give them all they need.

    Don’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

  95. by Melissa Sahlmann

    On October 6, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    I love all these people discussing “what if” situations. You can sit there all day and say if this happened then I would have done this. The fact of the matter is that you never know what you will do until you are faced with a situation. So many times I said I knew what I would do if I were faced with a special needs diagnosis, only to change my mind the moment it happened. Then when dr’s said there was a definite chromosomal abnormality, I said I’d only keep the baby if it was down syndrome and not another very life limited diagnosis, only to be yet again faced with exactly that and still decide to keep my baby. At every turn I was faced with the worst of my “if then” scenarios, and yet though it all, the love of my child was larger than any of them. The mother who said she would have aborted obviously has been changed by having had that child. I say she should be thanking GOD instead of suing. Now, if she has said anything other than yes his life has great value, I would have said he needed to be removed from their care immediately. Without that unconditional love, the boy truly would have been damaged. We should develop a prenatal test that detects rapists and murderers and quit focusing on disabilities. To the mom who sued because her OB didn’t encourage abortion, you should be ashamed of yourself. You have just forced Dr’s to have to encourage abortions for millions of babies, just so you could make a buck off your special needs kid. What I really want to know is if these kids were such a burden or disgrace that these parents would rather have killed them in the womb than see them born, why didn’t they just give their kids to people would would have wanted them regardless?? I pray neither of these kids ever has a chance to really understand that their parents regretted them and saw them as horrible mistakes.

  96. by Geria Wright

    On October 18, 2011 at 10:49 am

    We live a politically-hostile charged world! The mother of this child needed to be in contact with as many support groups and counselors should could have found or at the very least her OBGYN could have given her referrals? Personally I would NEVER kill my child – at the moment of fertilization of a human ovum and a sperm it is a child! However, I cannot sit in judgement of her given my on personal views.

  97. by Marsha

    On October 27, 2011 at 9:11 am

    This is a hard road to cross for anyone who really isn’t there. The thing is, you have to look at what the quality of life would be like in relation to the diagnosis. We all know that Down Syndrome can vary from mild to severe. But it still boils down to, even in the mildest cases, what kind of life can they have as an adult? Will they be able to take care of themselves? Chances are, no. I personally could not give an answer to this question right now.

  98. by Tiffy

    On November 4, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    Seriously you want to abort your special needs child so you can have your perfect “Brady Bunch” family, you should be spayed.

  99. by Mary

    On November 17, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    I had an ultrasound when I was 9 weeks and the doc thought something was wrong with my baby so I had an amnio when I was 12 weeks pregnant and found out my son had Anencephaly…meaning he was going to be born without a brain. I weighed the pros and cons and could not go through with the pregnancy knowing he would only live a few minutes most likely. I saw no reason to put a baby or myself and my family through that.

    I agree with a parent if they find out their child has a deformity or disability and decides to abort them, why would you knowingly have a child you know is going to suffer their entire lives?

  100. by alexis

    On March 21, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    In my opinion, I would never have an abortion regardless. Can i understand y the mother said this? Yes. We dont have her explination, but in tis case treatment for her son is very expensive. Prostetics can be thiusands of dollars. The reason she waited to file suit was probably bc they wouldnt do prostetics with how young he is. She sees how he is every day. Maybe he is not able to go out and play with other children. What is the quality of life for her son?

  101. by Rachel

    On March 23, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    All of you people saying she did not love her child are completely ignorant. She stated how sad her child is for not being able to play or do everyday normal things.
    I see many stories of kids dying early and/or suffering from their disabilities, that were seen by doctors during the pregnancy.
    It is not love for your child by choosing not to abort, it’s selfishness.
    If you care enough about your child’s happiness and well being to abort them before they can suffer is the greatest love anyone can give.

    And saying someone is “playing God” by having an abortion but having a child with medical disabilities and then receiving medical attention to improve their lives or perform surgery on them is playing God. So if you are going to give birth to them let them suffer from pain and die, like they are supposed to, like God intended.

  102. by Dan

    On March 26, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    Don’t prejudge your ability to love your children. read “Heaven’s special child”

  103. by Katey O.

    On March 27, 2012 at 7:30 am

    I hate hearing people say if i had know they were a special needs case i would abort them. My little sister is special needs and my mother was very upset when the doctor told her my sister wasn’t going to be normal and that she could have an abortion my mother looked him in the eye and said she is my child and i will love even if she looks like a hairy ape. People though fail to see how much joy have a special needs child can be and how much they truly do know. My sister is in the 4th grade in public school and is passing with As and Bs. Also my mother worked in our local school for special needs childing i myself grew up knowing how to treat and see them as people i cannot believe someone would abort a baby just because it wasn’t”normal”.

  104. by Molly

    On March 28, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    As I understand the law, a parent must state they would abort their child in order to be allowed to sue for incompetence. I am sure these parents love their child. The travesty is that they have to say such things to sue in the first place. How could they miss this with seven ultrasounds?

  105. by Kellie

    On April 9, 2012 at 10:43 am

    I think it is the job of an ultrasound tech to alert the Dr of these things, and it is the job of the Dr to tell the parents. I will never condone abortion, but it is our right as parents to be made aware of everything they see in an ultrasound! There is no way they missed this if she had seven. It also boggles my mind to think someone could even say that about their child whom they love. I didn’t even get test to see if my daughter was going to have any defects or illnesses, because it didn’t matter. She was the baby I tried so hard for, I wasn’t going to just abort her if she had something wrong.

  106. by Libby

    On April 15, 2012 at 10:26 am

    I would have ABSOLUTELY no qualms in aborting a 1st term pregnancy if ultrasound or amnio showed problems. The OB and Ultrasound technician should have their licenses revoked and should be fired.

  107. by Heather

    On April 27, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Tomorrow our dear friends are burying their little boy who lived less than two hours after he was born. This little boy, though his life was short and he had many physical challenges, has been a huge blessing to his family and to our whole community. The outpouring of love that he has brought forth is a gift, not a curse. I pray that God will change the hearts of those who see abortion as a “loving option”. A child may be born into a difficult life- all people suffer throughout their lives- but the process of abortion is horrific for the baby and ultimately the mother. Not everyone is called to care for a special needs child but that is why we have adoption. Every child deserves to welcomed with love.

  108. by Valerie

    On April 27, 2012 at 10:21 am

    I chose to abort a fetus that would have had birth defects and an unknown level of disability. To me, at that point it wasn’t a child yet but rather a potential child. A child can think and feel. Before that pregnancy would have completed, I got pregnant with my daughter who I adore and who is now seventeen. I love her –including her imperfections–and always will. She couldn’t exist if I had carried that other pregnancy to term. To me that is a different question, whether you love and cherish and nurture an existing child vs whether you knowingly choose to sustain a fetus and so create a child that you know will have a very poor chance at being happy or doing the things that give life meaning — like creating, experiencing the world and giving rather than simply having to take. We all want to stack the odds in favor of our children flourishing. That for me includes things like timing pregnancy, taking prenatal vitamins, and when a pregnancy is going awry, starting over. I think the mom in the article can say that she loves and cherishes her child and also say that she would have chosen abortion and there’s no incompatibity between the two.

  109. [...] Helping your special needs child – a mother’s storyiPad Apps for Kids with Special NeedsLong Island New York Special Needs Lawyer BlogA Mom Says She Would Have Aborted Her Child With Special Needs [...]

  110. by Deb

    On December 2, 2012 at 2:44 am

    Being born in the late 1950′s and female and having a sister 3 years younger than she gets severe brain damage from a simple operation at age 2. My parents put her in an institution where she lay in bed crib with the other kids in the ward that could not talk but only moan. My dear dad who would go and see her on Sunday’s and take me loved her dearly. My Mother would not go and see her but chose to forget through a doctor prescribed shock treatment (kill off more brain cells). Lisa died when I was 15 years old. My mother tried to kill herself multiply times taking pill or what ever she could find. Finally it affected her brain and I had to take care of her at age 43 to age 70 with her severe dementia. My parents tried to be happy but I felt knowing my sister was suffering killed them inside. In those days kids were locked away. I used to see my sister on Sundays and walk by all the wards, children putting their hands out just for a little attention (so starved for love). Back to myself I had my first child in my mid thirty’s and he was a healthy boy and yes I had an amniocentesis. I told my husband I could not go though what I did with my sister and parents. Well my second child had a severe disability similar to my sister but the times have changed and she has help and lives at home. As in the other blog I feel my child would have chose not to live. To have someone feed her or me, bath me, lift all 80 pounds of me. To not be able to sit up or swat a fly on my face. I’m pro choice and I love, love children. I have walked where very few have walked and maybe I’ll write an autobiography and you will wonder why you choose your thought process. Have you been to a skilled nursing home lately and smelled the sent of a fresh B.M. and see a elderly patient crawl over bed rails because their was not enough staff. When you get off your holy water. Maybe just Maybe you will understand the plight of other parents. What will I do when I can not lift my daughter any more, die inside daily like my Mom. How much of what my son wanted to do or continue my career did I give up to take care of a daughter and Mom. My family’s taken a toll on me, but at the end of the day it’s always will my son be able to handle his sister. I don’t want that for him I’ve done enough care giving for 10 family’s.

  111. by Kim

    On January 17, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    Abortion is not an option for me, ever, but I do try to avoid preaching a side on it because I was raised in a religion that forbids it.
    However, not being told about MISSING LIMBS? You damn well bet I`d be suing. My princess had downs, not easily detected on a sono, and we decided against testing. But if you manage to `forget` to tell the parents about something that obvious you are getting a law suit and should have your license suspended for a time. Thats rediculous.

  112. by NoAdditives

    On February 4, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    There are definitely certain things that would make me want to terminate a pregnancy. I’m iffy on Down’s syndrome, thought my husband is not. He would not want to have a child with disabilities. But. Other chromosomal defects and other diagnosable disorders that would definitely result in a shortened life span with guaranteed suffering would most likely cause me to terminate. I couldn’t bring a child into this world only to suffer and feel pain. Of course, it would be a heartbreaking decision, but it would be the right decision for my family. Not only would be cruel to the baby, it would incredibly difficult for my three children to understand and experience. The decision really has nothing to do with me or what I think I can or cannot handle. It’s all about giving all of my children the best life possible. A life cut short and filled with misery is not a good life by any stretch of the imagination.

  113. by Shelly

    On February 26, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    Wow. I could never get an abortion, even if my own life was as stake, at least I don’t think I could. Thankfully I have never had to make that decision. My husband and I were very young when I got pregnant with our first child. We were so excited. Happy, scared, everything a parent-to-be feels. The did not do routine ultrasounds back then and I only have one at 30 weeks because I was measuring so far ahead of where I should have been. The doctor felt that there might be too much amniotic fluid. That ultrasound changed our lives forever. There was almost no fluid at all. His bladder, ureters and kidneys were severely enlarged. We had to go out of state to see a high risk pregnancy doctor. He told us that our baby had PUVs and babies like this die, but we were young and could have other children!!! My baby was alive when he told us this and he was very much wanted. Termination was not an option even if I would have considered it because I was already 31 weeks by that time. They did some test and decided that it was too late for any treatment and his lungs would not be formed and his kidneys were destroyed. There was nothing we could do. I did ask if they could take him early and help him, to prevent more damage, but that wasn’t an option. We decided to deliver him out of state on the off chance that he could be treated. The OB didn’t want to do a C-section if the baby’s heart rate dropped. He didn’t want to risk my health for a baby that was going to die anyway. I went into labor at 35 weeks and my baby boy was born. He was not breathing, not moving, but I had told the doctors I wanted them to do whatever it took to at least give him a chance. He was passed into the NICU and put on a vent. Then miracles began to happen. He only needed the vent for 4 hours. He actually had made more urine during those last few weeks of the pregnancy. With surgery, meds and special formula, he was able to make it to 10 months old before starting dialysis. The first 5 years of his life were filled with so many things that no one should ever have to deal with. Dialysis, feeding tubes, surgeries, hospital stays. But he avoided so many complications that were SUPPOSE to happen. We were told his bladder would never function and he would need surgery and be cathed for the rest of his life. He didn’t. When he was 5 I donated a kidney to him. Amazingly he’s had very few complications. Unfortunately transplant is not a cure. We were told the kidney might last 10 years. This summer he will be 16 years post transplant. He also has autism, but has improved so much over the years, I am in awe of him everyday. He may never be able to live on his own and will always need medical care and someday another transplant or dialysis, but his life has not been filled with suffering as people might expect. He laughs, he plays, he takes out the garbage and argues with his little brother. If I let him, he would play video games every second of the day! No, he’s not like everyone else and he never will be, but that doesn’t mean his life is full of suffering. I don’t know if he will do something “great” with his life, but he has helped so many people understand that miracles happen. None of us are guaranteed a healthy child, even if they are born that way. Suppose your son or daughter developed cancer when they were 12 years old. Would you decide that it would be too much suffering for them to even try and be treated? Would you just let them die, or even make it happen? Suffering is a normal part of life. I wish that it wasn’t, but we all have known some sort of suffering. What is hard for one person might not be for someone else. We have one other child. He also has autism (much more mild than my older son), so I really don’t see either of them taking care of the other when I’m gone. That’s so sad to think about, but that’s how our lives have turned out, so we just have to live them. If you don’t want to care for a child with special needs (and I know some people just are not capable of that kind of patience and stress), let them be adopted by a family who can care for them and wants to care for them. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The same can be said of suffering.

  114. by Addie

    On March 17, 2013 at 10:55 am

    I had an abortion for this very reason. My daughter would have been born with Trisomy 18. She wouldn’t have lived anyway. And if she had had cerebral palsy, Down syndrome, or any other defect, I’d have made the same decision.

    Here’s the thing:
    “Special needs” is an understatement.
    You brought a child into this world that will not have a normal life and should not be allowed to breed. It’s that simple. From a biological stand point, you bringing a truly inferior being into the gene pool is a disgrace.
    Anybody with a serious disability like this should be sterilized, and that’s not my opinion, that’s a fact.
    They cannot be productive the way that normal, functioning human beings can be productive.
    So…abortion in these cases should be the ONLY option.

  115. by Case

    On April 11, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    In the end, it is not our opinion. Or the Doctors or the OBGYN. They need to tell their patient everything going on and its up to that person to make the decision that is best for them. Your doctor cannot dictate what’s best for you. They can recommend but it’s not their decision because they are not raising that child. For those people who spout nonsense of my doctor said this but I defied them and it was a gift from god. At least your doctor let you know what was going on and you made the choice. Where as this lady didn’t even get a choice. That is more were the issue should lie than the what she would’ve have done.

  116. by Cindy

    On April 17, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    This makes no sense to me…. If, at one year old, your son or daughter became disabled or you learned they had a disability, you would never think to kill them. Why does the fact that they aren’t born yet change your thoughts?

    I think the people who would have an abortion if they found out their child had special needs while in uetro are very selfish – poor YOU. If it’s inconvenient for YOU to deal with, then don’t have kids. I’m not saying life with a special needs child would be easy, life with a healthy child isn’t easy – it’s just new challenges, new frustrations. There are plenty of special needs persons that lead full lives, are loved and give love in return.

  117. by Samantha

    On May 2, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    First, I feel terrible for that little boy for having a mother who would think and publicly admit to her willingness to abort him because of his special needs. Ultrasounds a tricky to read, and rarely 100% clear. It is entirely possible that the child stayed in positions that made it impossible to fully visualize all 4 limbs.

    The mother knowingly refused an amniocentesis (I won’t blame her for that because I did too), knowing it could tell her more conclusively whether her son would have any physical or genetic abnormalities. I personally feel there is nothing she can place, blame wise, on the doctors, nurses, ultrasound techs, etc after that.

    My son was born with multiple medical problems that wee impossible to detect on an ultrasound (or bloodwork for that matter). A few of his conditions leave him in considerable pain, and he knows nothing different, food and drink put him in agonizing pain, each and every day, and yet he continues. He is the happiest child I’ve ever met, and he rarely lets any of his medical or physical problems leave him lagging behind. With early therapy, a good mobility specialist, and lots ofmlove, there is no reason that child won’t learn to move around one way or another to chase the other kids around and play.

    Would I take away my sons challenges and pain if I had a way? Yes. Would I have aborted him, knowing the challenges he would have in life? NEVER. My son is my life. The first time he told me love you changed my world. Even if it didn’t happen until a few months ago (he will be 3 in June).

  118. by Anon

    On May 3, 2013 at 10:33 pm

    I’d have done it too. Unless someone else wants to raise “God’s little miracle” for me.

    Why do people say children with severe disabilities are beautiful?