Friday, September 30th, 2011
This week I asked readers if they play favorites with their kids. In general, there were two types of responses.
Most (not all) parents said that they don’t play favorites with their kids.
Most (not all) people who talked about their experiences growing up said that their parents played favorites.
My take on all this is the following:
- I still contend that the majority of parents do not practice blatant favoritism with their kids – but as discussed in my prior post there are differences in their relationships because siblings can be (and often are) very different in terms of personality, age, etc
- However, if there is blatant favoritism, or the perception of that, it not only hurts kids growing up – it continues to sting into adulthood
- Will they can have a more balanced perspective on growing up? Will they be able to talk about the different ways in which each were favored or slighted, and conclude that it pretty much balanced out and that they each had their own unique relationship with their parents?
- Or will one (or more) of them have the perception that there was indeed blatant and hurtful favoritism? Being attentive to that possibility while your kids are young could prevent deep hurt when they get older.