Recalibrating What We Mean By “Success” For Our Kids

In recent years, the word “success” has been batted around in parenting culture. This series of blog posts considers a number of views of what “success” might mean – and how that influences how we parent.

We often measure success for our kids via static indicators – grades, getting into a “name” college, attaining a high status occupation, and large income. While all of these things are notable outcomes for individuals, they aren’t necessarily what everyone is shooting for. And as such they aren’t necessary to be assumed as the key indicators of success in life and hence the fundamental goals for our children as discussed in Amy Chua’s new book.

It’s worth revisiting Madeline Levine’s book “Teach Your Children Well.” The premise is straightforward. Levine, a clinical psychologist, has seen many a family in which parents and children get caught up in the competitive treadmill that can define the adolescent years in particular. It offers a more balanced viewpoint that encourages children pursuing achievement without getting too caught up in the trap of stacking up a list of accomplishments. It’s a long-term strategy that suggests how parents and children alike should strive for a more developmentally grounded view that supports and encourages healthy practices for the mind and body – which in fact lay a stronger platform for kids to eventually find successes in the personal and professional lives.

Even though we are long past the “Tiger Mom” debates, the reality is that the pressure on many kids – throughout childhood and adolescence – are many and can be intense. “Teach Your Children Well” remains highly relevant even if these topics aren’t as topical as they were a few years ago.

Also in this series:

“The Triple Package”

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