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Stimulating Political Talk With Your Kids

May 22, 2012 at 1:37 pm , by

Kids learn about recent events in school – and sometimes get exposed to, and talk about, political issues. But what about at home? Do you go out of your way to bring the political world into your conversations with your kids? Today Golnar Khosrowshahi of GoGoNews shares her own experiences in talking politics with her kids in this guest post.

Over the course of the past week, the conversation in my household has been focused on the election of François Hollande and the departure of Nicolas Sarkozy. While it would be nice to say that my highly intellectual children initiated these conversations on their own accord, the reality is that I enticed them into talking about the French elections with a description of the swearing in ceremony at the Elysée Palace and images of Hollande’s parade up the picturesque Champs Elysée! Regardless of how I engaged them, the result was a politically charged conversation about the elections, the process, and the topical issues the French people are grappling with today. Our conversation weaved into more general concepts such as the incumbent versus the challenger, campaigns and how scheduling voting day on a Sunday can impact voter turnout. 

My motivation to have these politically charged conversations with my children is just one of many tactics I use to avoid raising children who will end up as entitled adults. I find that one of the biggest challenges parents today face is that we are raising the “me” generation – the generation that is pandered to to such an extent that when adulthood rolls around, they can’t help but have a sense of entitlement.

Last year, I exposed my children to the events leading up to the uprisings in north Africa and the subsequent results. Examples such as these provided a great opening to develop an appreciation and gratitude for the democratic process. It also dispelled the idea that ‘not everyone lives like we do’ and was yet another strike against the foothold of the ‘me generation’!

While our conversation may have been about France last week, it is so easy to find political conversations that are closer to home. Local politics are convenient topics to discuss because it is an accessible way to have a conversation that is relevant to a child and the impact of governance on a local community.  Furthermore, this being a federal election year in the United States provides the perfect platform to have an ongoing discussion throughout the campaign and party nomination process.

My hope is that these political conversations will engage my children to their community moving them from ‘me’ to ‘we’ and forcing them to think about the governance of the world around them on their own terms. I am also hopeful that during their thought process, whether consciously or not, they develop an appreciation for the democratic process and for civic duty.  And who knows, then maybe all of this political talk will foster a sense of leadership?

Golnar Khosrowshahi is the founder of GoGoNews, a website that publishes up to the minute, age appropriate current events for children. She has also written for The Huffington Post and been featured in many technology and parenting related columns. You can read featured guest blog posts by her here at Red-Hot Parenting the 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of every month.

Mom, child and globe via Shutterstock.com

More On “Oversharenting”: The Perspective Of A Media Expert

May 21, 2012 at 11:14 pm , by

In the rapid-fire world of the blogosphere, issues can have a half-life of, well, half a day. But some of the issues raised will stay with us for quite some time. Such is the case with the recent conversations about “oversharenting.” As noted by my fellow Parents.com blogger Jill Cordes in her recent blog post on the topic, it’s tough to generate parameters on this issue because it is a relatively new phenomenon – and to a degree something we are all shaping right now. So I was curious to get the perspective of someone who studies how to raise kids in a digital world. To that end, I had a chance to pose questions to an expert – James P. Steyer. Mr. Steyer is the author of the recently published Talking Back to Facebook: A Common Sense Guide to Parenting in the Digital Age (www.talkingbacktofacebook.com). He’s also the CEO and founder of Common Sense Media, the national nonprofit dedicated to helping kids thrive in a world of media and technology (www.commonsense.org). Below you will find my each of my questions in bold, followed by Mr. Steyer’s response.

Should parents be wary about posting pictures and information about their kids on Facebook? What’s the downside? Are there precautions that could/should be taken? 

Sharing information about your kids on social networks is something we’ve seen lots of parents doing. In some ways, it’s a fun way to connect friends and family with your kids’ lives as they grow up. But like we tell kids to “self-reflect before they self-reveal,” it’s equally as important for parents to follow that advice. Everything posted online creates what we call a “digital footprint” of your life. Once something is up, it can’t be taken down. And when parents start by sharing, for example, ultrasound images, they’re ensuring their kids have a digital footprint before they’ve even entered the world! And also, there can be a big difference between sharing moments of pride like your child’s first Little League home run, and sharing something more personal. My advice for families is to use your social networks’ ability to create small, closed networks inside the larger group (for example, Google+’s circles, or Facebook’s groups) that include only those people with whom you can share more private, intimate moments with – like grandparents, aunts, uncles. And then, still be very, very careful about what you share about other people, including your kids – partly because you don’t want to potentially embarrass your children, but also because anything you post online could eventually become public.

What about other public forums, like blogs? Any tips/concerns? Any reaction to things like the recent Time magazine breastfeeding cover?

The Time magazine cover is definitely something I think is sparking this conversation. A lot of people are saying, “How is that child going to feel about this picture when he’s 13?” Thanks to the permanence of the digital world, that photo will be both referenced and searchable for years to come. There is a huge possibility that this child will be upset that his mother used him to promote her own personal views on a topic he wasn’t old enough to understand or weigh in on. And that’s a lot of what this “oversharenting” comes down to: is it about YOU or is it about your kid? If you have any doubt about your motivations … hold out.

Should parents consider that they need to model behavior for their kids? Should they not only communicate the dangers of viral information to their kids but also set good examples with their own behavior?

Absolutely – without question. Parents are the biggest role models kids have when it comes to using digital media safely and wisely. That goes for every part of digital media – from what we’re posting to how often we’re using it. For example, you can’t expect your kid to respect a no-devices-at-dinner rule if you as a parent can’t separate yourself from your BlackBerry. The same goes for your behavior on social networks. It’s part of parenting in a digital world to make sure your kid understands the tenets of safe and appropriate online behavior, and that means parents have homework to do. Stay involved, know what your kid is doing, and always set the best example you can.

 


Whooping Cough (Pertussis): What Every Parent Should Know

May 17, 2012 at 3:23 pm , by

Whooping cough (pertussis) is a serious (but preventable) disease that can be fatal for babies – in 2010 ten infants died from it in the state of California. There are periodic breakouts, such as the current one in Washington state, in which 1,484 cases have been reported through May 12 as compared to 134 cases during the same time period in 2011 (click here for the details from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). Given this recent outbreak, I thought it would be useful to share current information on whooping cough and advice on how to try to prevent it. 

To this end, I sought out the perspective of Dr. Wendy Sue Swanson. Dr. Swanson sees patients at The Everett Clinic in Mill Creek, Washington and is on the medical staff at Seattle Children’s. Dr. Swanson is also a Clinical Instructor in the Department of Pediatrics at the University of Washington. In addition, she writes the Seattle Mama Doc blog, which I turn to frequently (as a professional and parent) for concise and up-to-date information and guidance on many pediatric issues. Dr. Swanson was kind enough to answer a number of questions I posed to her about whooping cough which I am pleased to share here.

1) What is whooping cough?

Whooping cough (also known as pertussis) is a highly contagious respiratory illness that can spread from one person to another with a single cough or sneeze. In older children and adults, it starts as a typical cold but can advance to a more prolonged/protracted cough that is serious, uncomfortable and disruptive. The cough can get so bad that it makes it difficult to eat, drink or even breath. Sometimes the cough causes a characteristic “whoop” and often it causes vomiting. But most dangerous is whooping cough in infants. In infants it can cause feeding delays, severe respiratory distress, pauses in their breathing and/or death. Infants under 6 months of age are at high risk, and those under 2 months of age are at severe risk for complications.

2) How is it spread?

Via coughing, sneezing, or other ways in which droplets spread from one to another.

3) Are children of all ages vulnerable? 

Although infants are most vulnerable – particularly those under 2 months of age – all children are at higher risk. In Washington state during our epidemic, 80% of positive tests were in children under 18 years of age. That is primarily because it is more distressing to children and they are the ones who get treated. Most data supports the notion that during epidemics, only aboute 10% of those with whooping cough get tested.

4) Why do we see surges in it?

Whooping cough tends to cycle every 3-5 years with surges. Part of that has to do with immunity and the herd. Part of those surges have to do with the fact that we never develop lifelong immunity. After a whooping cough infection, our immunity to whooping cough wanes somewhere between 4-20 years and after the immunization it wanes somewhere between 4-12 years later. That is why it is recommended that all children over age 11 get a Tdap shot NOW. We also immunize infants with DTaP at 2,4, 6, 15 months and 4 years of age. It’s essential that pregnant women get the Tdap in their 3rd trimester (after 20 weeks gestation). All adults who will be around newborns should also get the Tdap. We know that newborns are most vulnerable to the serious complications from whooping cough so if we “cocoon” them with family and friends who are immunized we reduce the likelihood that they get an infection.

5) What symptoms should parents look for? What should they do when they observe these symptoms in their kids?

In infants, if your newborn or infant has a cold, difficulty feeding, vomiting with cough or coughing fits, see the pediatrician. In older children, if they have been exposed to whooping cough and present with a cold, or have a cough that lingers past 2 weeks, cough with vomiting, or a “whoop” sound, see the doctor immediately.

6) What should parents do to protect their kids and help prevent it?

The best way to protect against whooping cough is to get immunized (as detailed above). After you get immunized, ask that your family, your children’s daycare and school teachers, and all adults that come into your home get immunized, too. Grandparents of any age are recommended to get the Tdap shot, too!

If you would like to learn more, here are additional blog posts that Dr. Swanson has written on whooping cough:

Post on how to protect newborns:

http://seattlemamadoc.seattlechildrens.org/cocoon-a-newborn-only-an-email-away/

What is the Tdap shot? (YouTube video and post w/list of resources):

http://seattlemamadoc.seattlechildrens.org/what-is-the-tdap-shot-seattle-mama-doc-101/

All Grandparents need a Tdap shot:

http://seattlemamadoc.seattlechildrens.org/all-grandparents-need-a-tdap/

Woman sneezing via Shutterstock.com

“Child Psychopaths”: What Does Research Tell Us?

May 16, 2012 at 7:08 am , by

Can you label a child a psychopath? The recent provocative story in the New York Times has stimulated lots of interesting discussion on the internet. But what does research tell us? 

Rather than identify “child psychopaths,” researchers have studied specific traits in childhood and adolescence that are considered to be early signs of risk of later psychopathy in adulthood. Primary amongst them are “callous-unemotional” traits. Here are some examples:

  • glibness
  • lack of guilt
  • manipulation
  • untruthfulness
  • callousness
  • failure to accept responsibility

Studying these characteristics as a trait means that it’s not just a “yes or no” approach. Any kid could show some of these traits at any point in time. The idea is to get a bigger picture (a total score) when you add up the levels of each of these traits. When this is done, the vast majority of kids show very low levels of callous-unemotional traits. An especially informative study tracked the trajectory of these traits in nearly 10,000 kids from age 7 to age 12. They found that about 4% could be considered to have very high levels of callous-unemotional traits along with documented conduct problems. This is a small subgroup of kids that would warrant intensive intervention.

What happens to kids with high levels of these traits? Do they go on to be psychopaths in adulthood? Most do not. One report found that the majority of teens with high levels of callous-unemotional traits at age 13 would not be diagnosed with psychopathy at age 24. That said, there was some prediction available, particularly in the sense that those diagnosed with psychopathy at 24 were also likely to have had high levels of callous-unemotional traits at 13. So kids with this profile are at high risk for psychopathy – but clearly there is some malleability and other factors influence the extent to which they develop maladaptive behavior as adults.

Lots of studies have tried to examine the causes of callous-emotional traits. There is strong evidence that genetics plays a role, as indicated by informative twin studies. Some projects also suggest that genetic factors may underlie the linkage between callous-unemotional traits and aggressive behavior. But the role of the environment is not trivial, and a disruptive family environment is often involved as well. Bear in mind that this work is far from complete, and no genetic markers – or associations with brain architecture or functioning – have been established with certainty.

This brief sketch of the research provides something of a big picture on the development of psychopathy. Individual case studies always have their own nuance. The bottom line is that kids who show a troubled picture characterized by callous-emotional traits – especially when combined with early emerging problematic behavior – should receive intensive clinical evaluation and care. As pointed out in a thoughtful piece in the Huffington Post, though, specific tailored treatments have yet to be developed – suggesting the need for more clinically-based research.

Child brain via Shutterstock.com

 

Making Screen Time QUALITY Time

May 8, 2012 at 9:03 am , by

As screen time increases for both parents and kids, we often talk about how to reduce it. But is this focus misplaced and unrealistic in today’s society? Today Golnar Khosrowshahi of GoGoNews offers her perspective on how the quality of screen time may be a more forward looking way of approaching the issue. 

The Louvre Museum in Paris recently unveiled Nintendo hand held consoles as their interactive device of choice for visitors to navigate the museum and learn more about selected works of art. While the innovation is fantastic and it delivers substantive nuggets of information to the museum goer, it also partially transforms what was previously an interactive experience with the art and other visitors into an interactive experience between man and machine. In support of the device however, I would argue that providing easier access to better information results in an enlightened individual and altogether, more productive time spent under Pei’s pyramid.

When I was growing up, the popular trend in helicopter parenting was to limit children’s exposure to television. Today’s generation has a more generic limitation in that many parents want to limit ‘screen time’. It is undeniable that children are consuming a variety of content be it video games, television shows or music videos through a variety of screens be it television, smartphones, tablets or computers. However, it cannot all be that bad with the wealth of educational content that is distributed through these very same screens. Should parents be counting and thus limiting those ‘good’ screen hours together with the ‘bad’ screen hours? Many parents’ aversion to long hours spent in front of the screen is prompted by the misconception that these have to be solitary hours. Why not turn this time spent together looking at interesting websites and using the content as a platform for further discussion?

I often question my personal indifference to my children’s time spent between their desktop and tablet computers. Instead of encouraging them to power down, I am exchanging notes with them on the latest and greatest Apps, getting into drawing competitions with them with interactive games such as Draw Something and when not in their company, gifting them books I think they would enjoy to their e-reader accounts. I know, however, that I would start limiting their screen time if all they were doing was watching mindless teeny bopper comedies. But because they are either reading, drawing, or even playing games that hone their fine motor skills, I not only have absolutely no problem with the screen time, in fact I actually encourage it.

I believe that we can all benefit from the ease and access that children have to information in today’s world. For my children, the additional exposure and cross platform access is making them read in great quantity across a variety of subjects. Experiences such as a visit to the museum are of a greater quality because children can learn and understand more than they would have otherwise – all from a screen. So perhaps, our job as parents is not so much to limit screen time, but to ensure screen quality time, and at the end of the day, channel all of these eye opening experiences into dinner table conversations.

Golnar Khosrowshahi is the founder of GoGoNews, a website that publishes up to the minute, age appropriate current events for children. She has also written for The Huffington Post and been featured in many technology and parenting related columns. You can read featured guest blog posts by her here at Red-Hot Parenting the 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of every month.