Posts Tagged ‘ lyranda martin evans ’

It’s Friday! We Made It! No One Died This Week!: We Need the New Book ‘Reasons Mommy Drinks’

Friday, September 20th, 2013

This morning at the bus stop, we parents actually cheered after our young kids got on and left. We called out: “It’s Friday! We made it! No one died this week!”

The six of us–a tightly knit group of moms and dads–would have poured ourselves several tall ones if we’d had time to grab the vodka bottle on the mad rush out the door. Sadly, we were sober. Thankfully, there’s always tonight! And Saturday night! And Sunday, Monday, Tuesday… Okay, okay.

So here’s where I’m going with this: Best friend bloggers Lyranda Martin Evans and Fiona Stevenson completely understand how we were feeling–how every parent feels sometimes–so they wrote a book called Reasons Mommy Drinks that is based on their popular blog. It comes complete with cocktail recipes and o’h-I’ve-been-there’ kinds of stories. For your Friday reading pleasure, they’ve given me permission to excerpt one below:

Page 174: The After Eight
“1 ounce creme de cacao
1 ounce creme de menthe
splash of milk

Fill a glass with ice. Pour in all of the ingredients and stir. Enjoy after 8 p.m. but before 9 p.m. lest you turn into a sleep-deprived gremlin the next day.”

And according to the authors, you need this drink because:

“Nine o’clock used to be a dinner reservation. Now it’s a bedtime. By the time Mommy feeds you squash, washes squash off the wall, and gets you to bed, she has exactly 23 minutes to eat whatever you didn’t in front of The X Factor before she passes out with her hair encrusted in squash. Being up at 2 a.m. used to mean it was a good night. Now it’s a very, very bad night. It means Mommy will also be up at 3 a.m., up at 4 a.m., and up for good at 6 a.m. Those wee hours used to be for flirting with the bartender to keep the drinks flowing while sexting her backup plan for a booty call. Now she spends that time praying you will go back to sleep while texting her sleep-challenged Mommy friends and cursing the “bulletproof” No-Cry Sleep Solution and Daddy’s ability to sleep through anything. Sometimes, when Mommy’s in line for her fourth American Misto of the day, she’ll overhear a 20-something lament about being “soooo exhausted.” When Mommy was single, “exhaustion” referred to a state of ennui that came from being bored with skinny jeans and dating guys with ironic mustaches. Mommy misses that kind of tired.”

If you need a laugh along with some alcohol, pick up this little book. Or give it to your frazzled friend who is in even worse shape than you.

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