Friday, September 20th, 2013
This morning at the bus stop, we parents actually cheered after our young kids got on and left. We called out: “It’s Friday! We made it! No one died this week!”
The six of us–a tightly knit group of moms and dads–would have poured ourselves several tall ones if we’d had time to grab the vodka bottle on the mad rush out the door. Sadly, we were sober. Thankfully, there’s always tonight! And Saturday night! And Sunday, Monday, Tuesday… Okay, okay.
So here’s where I’m going with this: Best friend bloggers Lyranda Martin Evans and Fiona Stevenson completely understand how we were feeling–how every parent feels sometimes–so they wrote a book called Reasons Mommy Drinks that is based on their popular blog. It comes complete with cocktail recipes and o’h-I’ve-been-there’ kinds of stories. For your Friday reading pleasure, they’ve given me permission to excerpt one below:
Page 174: The After Eight
“1 ounce creme de cacao
1 ounce creme de menthe
splash of milk
Fill a glass with ice. Pour in all of the ingredients and stir. Enjoy after 8 p.m. but before 9 p.m. lest you turn into a sleep-deprived gremlin the next day.”
And according to the authors, you need this drink because:
“Nine o’clock used to be a dinner reservation. Now it’s a bedtime. By the time Mommy feeds you squash, washes squash off the wall, and gets you to bed, she has exactly 23 minutes to eat whatever you didn’t in front of The X Factor before she passes out with her hair encrusted in squash. Being up at 2 a.m. used to mean it was a good night. Now it’s a very, very bad night. It means Mommy will also be up at 3 a.m., up at 4 a.m., and up for good at 6 a.m. Those wee hours used to be for flirting with the bartender to keep the drinks flowing while sexting her backup plan for a booty call. Now she spends that time praying you will go back to sleep while texting her sleep-challenged Mommy friends and cursing the “bulletproof” No-Cry Sleep Solution and Daddy’s ability to sleep through anything. Sometimes, when Mommy’s in line for her fourth American Misto of the day, she’ll overhear a 20-something lament about being “soooo exhausted.” When Mommy was single, “exhaustion” referred to a state of ennui that came from being bored with skinny jeans and dating guys with ironic mustaches. Mommy misses that kind of tired.”
If you need a laugh along with some alcohol, pick up this little book. Or give it to your frazzled friend who is in even worse shape than you.
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Tuesday, July 2nd, 2013
I admit it. When my kids were younger, a friend and I would get our toddler twins together for the three-martini playdate. (My husband had to come drive us home.) That ended when I got pregnant with my son. Luckily, pregnancy only lasts nine months. I have given and received bottles of wine for baby showers. What about alcohol as a gift when the baby first comes home? I always bring some along with a lasagna. For summer fun–and let’s be honest, for an effective school’s-out coping mechanism–do you round up kids and friends and drink while dinner cooks on the grill?
Maybe it’s just me.
But according to the brand new book Her Best-Kept Secret, it’s more like everyone minus a few hold-out teetotalers. Drinking among women–and I’m not talking about college-aged bingers–has been on the rise for decades. Author Gabrielle Glaser gives fascinating reasons why. My favorite was that so many of today’s moms scaled back or opted out of intellectual careers to focus on our kids. Instead of spending more quality time with them, though, we wind up behind the wheel for hours chauffeuring our little over-achievers from soccer to swim team to math camp to equestrian lessons. When we get home (after driving is done, of course), we crack one open. Glaser writes, “Despite increased opportunities, many women feel they still haven’t measured up… ‘Women may simply find the complexity and increased pressure in their lives to have come at the cost of happiness.’”
Cheers to that.
Of course, there’s more to it–from wine marketing campaigns aimed at women to reality TV shows. Bethenny Frankel and Skinnygirl Cocktails are, for better or worse, huge hits. Whatever the reason, Glaser’s onto something. Every mom I know drinks often. And this book, Her Best-Kept Secret, mostly focuses on those of us who drink regularly but do not have an addiction problem. She correctly notes that most moms feel ashamed of their wine and try to hide it. How often have you said, “Oh, I really shouldn’t,” as you pour the third glass? Do men act so self-conscious? My husband doesn’t.
With humor, thoughtfulness and skillful research, Glaser paints a picture of mature female drinking today. You’ll see yourself or your friends on almost every page. She also touches on addiction–she controversially takes down Alcoholics Anonymous programs–but this isn’t a preachy book. I read it in a few hours sitting by the pool while the kids swam last weekend. I liked Glaser’s confession that she drinks most nights, but takes one or two off a week. The book is filled with helpful and enlightening suggestions. It’s great, so read it. Then grab your favorite drink.
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