The Perfect Book for Autism Awareness Month: ‘What Color is Monday?’ by Carrie Cariello

Monday, April 22nd, 2013

Author Carrie Cariello is a mom of five, including one 8-year-old boy with autism. So others will understand autism more clearly, she recounts her wondrous and challenging journey in her new memoir What Color is Monday? How Autism Changed One Family for the Better. Thank you, Carrie, for the eye-opening guest post below:

“What color do you see for Monday?” my son Jack asked as I heaved a chicken into the oven.

“What?” I said distractedly, turning from the oven to slice some potatoes at the counter. It was late afternoon one day last fall, and I was preparing dinner and managing the demands of homework and tired toddlers. (One was in a tiara.)

“What color is Monday?” he asked again, his robotic voice rising ever so slightly in irritation.

“I don’t see Monday as a color. Do you?” I asked, finally tuning in to what he was talking about.

“Yes. All days are colors.”

All days are colors. On a seemingly ordinary day, Jack once again granted me the privilege to take a tiny peek inside his fascinating mind. Without preamble, he rattled off which color he associates with each day. And then, just as suddenly as the conversation began, he snapped his mind closed and moved on to something else entirely. I tried to probe further; why was Saturday red? Was the entire day red, or just the morning? “I told you. No more,” he answered in a clipped tone.

Later that winter, Riddle Brook Publishing asked me to write a book based on our life with an autistic child. I happily agreed, and throughout the spring and early summer I wrote, putting together words and sentences, essays and chapters, to describe our days with five children and autism. Some days the words came easily, other days I struggled to make sense of my world with Jack and transport him onto the page. Whenever I approached something that seemed like writer’s block, I reminded myself that my subject—my inspiration—was right in front of me at the dinner table every night.  All I needed to do was watch and listen and learn from my son.

And then, like the pieces of a puzzle, the elements of the book came together. It describes our journey to Jack’s diagnosis, and all the funny and frustrating and sad times since the day we first heard the words your son has autism nearly seven years ago. It describes how a boy with a literal mind made peace with religion and accepted his first communion, and how our family of seven took our first vacation. It describes his obsessions with things like dates and cars, his fascination with shampoo and license plates.

Every couple of chapters, I included a letter to each of my children on their birthday, describing their likes and dislikes, their temperament, their appetite. Describing the way they’ve made room for autism and embraced their unusual brother.

Recently someone asked me, “Who is this book for?” And after considering the question for moment, I answered that originally it was for me, a way for me to creatively untangle the web of emotions and bewilderment and frustration autism often left me with at the end of a long day. But, as the project progressed, I realized it wasn’t just for me; it was for Jack and our family. And by the final round of edits, I decided it was for an even larger audience then that—it was for anyone and everyone who has ever been touched by autism.

I decided it was a way to put a face to the name of autism; the sweet face of a little blue-eyed boy who loves music and marshmallows. As I read through the book one final time, making last-minute changes and edits, I realized the book puts a voice to the message I’ve been saying every single day since Jack was diagnosed: that beneath the rigidity and anxiety and stimming there is a charming, intelligent, witty child peeking out.

It’s about how Jack brings out the best in my, my husband, and my children every single day.

Throughout the summer I struggled to title the book, tossing around ideas like Life with Autism and Loving Autism.  For a while I decided to use the word snowflake in the name, because that’s often the image that comes to my mind when I think of Jack and autism; a beautiful, fragile snowflake that is always changing, always in motion. But one afternoon in late August I was driving the kids to the town pool, and Jack said, “Look, the sky is so blue.” And as I peered up through the windshield at the rich blue summer sky, I thought again of our conversation the previous fall, when he talked about the colors of the week.

For a short time I thought about calling the book Thursday is Purple, but then Jack off-handedly remarked Thursday is sometimes green. (Come on, Jack-a-boo. I’m trying to write a book about you here. For real.)

And so, it became What Color is Monday? How autism changed one family for the better.

‘Far From the Tree’s’ Author Andrew Solomon on ‘Katie’ Today

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

One of the most important parenting books of last year was Andrew Solomon’s Far From the Tree. I’m not usually a cryer–my eyes stayed dry during all of Les Miserables–but this book made me weep. The sections on autism and schizophrenia are particularly insightful, surprising and heartbreaking. Far from the Tree goes into intense detail about what it’s like to parent children who are out of the ordinary. What would you do if you had a child who was deaf, autistic, schizophrenic, brilliant or became a murderer? Your whole identity as a parent will be altered just by pondering such big questions.

Don’t have time to read Solomon’s 700-page book? (It took me 20 hours.)  He will be featured on Katie Couric’s show, Katie, this afternoon. He is bringing along some of the parents he interviewed. I anxiously read about these achingly real and relatable people, and I want to see them speak about their children–and how they’ve tried to improve their lives–on Katie’s show. Click this link to watch the teaser for the episode.

Check out Katie today. It airs at 3 p.m. EST on ABC on the East Coast. Are you as moved by the stories in Far From the Tree as I am?

What It’s Like to Have Autism: ‘Dummy’ by David Patten

Thursday, November 15th, 2012

For the December issue of Parents, I wrote about an intense book. If you know anyone with autism then Dummy: A Memoir is a must read.

Imagine what it would be like to live in today’s society with a severe learning disability. Now think about being born with autism in the 1950s–before the term even existed. This book proves how far we’ve come in research and acceptance, and it makes me think about how much further we have to go.

Even though author David Patten still can’t read or write, he has dictated a beautiful, touching and often harrowing book about growing up with severe learning disabilities in the 1960s. Today, a child like David would be treated for dyslexia and autism. But back then, he was labeled as a “dummy” with psychological problems. David excelled in math but couldn’t grasp letters. Emotionally intelligent and sensitive, he fights hard to fight to avoid bullies and has a sense of duty to protect others from them. But adults just see him as a troublemaker, and he is sent to a mental hospital after a suicide attempt and then to a dangerous Chicago school for troubled teens.

Even his mother, who is a school psychologist, doesn’t know how to help. He spirals into dealing drugs and trying to save his deeply troubled teenage girlfriend named Donna. Through soul-searching—and with the help of 1970s spiritual gurus—he stops believing the negative messages and starts accepting himself.

Patten’s success story reveals the deep inner workings of the autistic mind, leaving his readers with a profound sense of empathy and compassion. Readers will come away with new thoughts on what it’s really like to be autistic.