Thursday, August 4th, 2011
I’ve got news I’ve been wanting to share with you for a while: I’m knocked up! Expecting. In a family way. Call it what you will, I’ve been busy gestating for over 14 weeks now. The due date is January 29th, just three days after Roy’s second birthday. I probably don’t even need to add that Clint and I are both absolutely thrilled.
We’ve been telling friends and family over the past week, so I will now anticipate and answer your first question: I’ve been feeling monumentally crappy, thanks for asking. More on that later. I’ll keep this focused on the positive, good news. Baby!
I’ve been scared to embrace this pregnancy, not allowing myself to plan or get excited or really even think about it that much. Even when we went in to the doctor’s office at 9 weeks and he picked up the heartbeat with the doppler. Even when he told me what a great sign it was to hear that little thump-thump so early, making my chances of miscarriage very, very low. I was hesitant.
When we went in for an ultrasound at 12 weeks, I prayed that little heart would still be beating. And it was. We told our amazing tech, Koua, whom we also had for my first pregnancy, that if he could tell the sex, we’d like to know. Early, I know, but Koua is an ultrasound guru of sorts; a superstar who also teaches the art/skill. Mere moments later, he paused the wand, locking in a steady, real-time full-body side shot. Wee arms and legs wriggled about. It was surreal. That was happening inside me right at that moment. I was breathless. Transfixed. Then Koua said: “There’s your little baby girl.”
Those five words released three months’ worth of bottled-up reality. I started bawling, and I couldn’t stop. The sobbing continued through the drive home, during which Clint finally asked, “You’re happy, right?” Through tears, I nodded vigorously. Only now, nearly two weeks later, am I able to relay the news without losing it again. Well, sometimes.
Honestly? I’m still worried. That probably won’t end until the baby—she!—is here. Ah, who am I kidding? I already have one kid, so I’m beginning to realize it’s never going to end.
And I couldn’t be happier.
Image © Nevit Dilmen