Tuesday, September 6th, 2011
Here we are—19 weeks! The nesting instinct is starting to kick in. It’s an uncontrollable refrain in the back of my mind like a constant, distant drumbeat. Must. Organize. Closets. Must. Stock. Freezer. Which isn’t such a bad thing, really. Yet. Eventually, that drumbeat will get faster, and closer, and I’ll be scrubbing the bathroom floor at midnight while mentally calculating how much another year’s worth of diapers will cost and ordering Clint to build a bunk bed, immediately, please, Imeanitrightnow! I think we still have a couple of months before Nesting Phase II: Electric Boogaloo begins. I’m sure there will be plenty of previews.
I’d say the biggest challenge at this point is the hormonal crying. Against my better judgment, I did not quit watching TV on the treadmill and therefore have left the gym in tears on numerous occasions. Any little thing can set me off, so I sometimes warn friends at the outset of face-to-face conversations: I will cry at some point. I apologize in advance if this makes you uncomfortable. It simply cannot be helped.
Sometimes, unfortunately, there’s real reason to cry. Today, especially, I can’t help but get a little teary thinking about my dear friend Leah. Today she begins round six of chemo. The Last Round. This should deliver the final, punishing beat-down to the cancer that so suddenly and rudely decided to take residence in her body (the exact source was never determined). Leah’s been incredibly positive and brave during this terrible, unexpected journey. In the past, I’ve cried simply because she’s on it, or because of how gracefully she’s handling it. Today, it’s both of those, plus relief that she is Almost There. Soon, I’ll be able to cry with joy because she is cancer-free.
I met Leah and her husband when I got a job at the rock club they used to run here in the city. They’ve since moved to a farm about an hour away, but they continue to be all about music, playing in a band and hosting huge weekend festivals with music lasting all day and well into the night. So it’s appropriate that my little mango-sized girlie is just now developing the ability to hear. Today, we’ll listen to Rock for the Rules, the benefit compilation put together by the couple’s many friends in the music community. And we’ll bombard Leah with positive thoughts, prayers and butterflies. Then I’m guessing I’ll cry. Maybe organize a closet.
Mango image by Marty BaldwinAdd a Comment