Co-Sleeping Against My Will
My baby wants to sleep with me. Which is understandable. She spent over nine months inside of me. Apparently, I’m a hard habit to break.
Problem is, I’m not comfortable with it. Despite the incredible feeling of her warm little snoozing baby body next to mine, plus the perk of being able to kiss her fuzzy head with minimal effort, I don’t sleep well. I’m too nervous about one of us rolling into the other. I’d much rather tuck her into something-or-other next to the bed, where we can get sleep independently, yet I can attend to diaper-changing and nursing needs immediately, before getting more sleep. That’s the goal, right there. More sleep.
Roy had no problem with our setup: Pack ‘N Play with Newborn Napper next to the bed. Took to it right away. Vera, on the other hand, will not have it. Not at all. I try. I’ll set her in there, where she’s OK for a few minutes, then when the fussing starts, I’ll pat or rock or insert pacifier until she calms, and then we’ll do the whole process over again, and again, and again, for up to a hour, when I give up and snuggle her into bed with me because I want to sleep. After all, light sleep is better than no sleep at all.
Part of me wants to give in and just figure out how to co-sleep as safely as possible, at least until she’s old enough for me to feel comfortable letting her cry it out. After all, she’s my baby. My last one. And her wants and needs are so basic and primal right now: Food, attention, a clean diaper and to have me sleep next to her at night. Plus, I know plenty of people who co-sleep (or co-slept) and love it.
But the bigger part of me wants to track down the miracle solution. The product that will be different enough from my Pack ‘N Play that she likes it, but similar in that it fits right next to the bed. It’s hard to know what to invest in. The last thing we need is another big hunk of plastic taking up space and collecting dust. Another big hunk of plastic that solves my involuntary co-sleep situation? Yes, please.