Simpson Baby Almost Named Zinfandel

Yes, Jessica Simpson and fiance Eric Johnson reportedly tossed around the wine and grape as a possible name for their baby (who, according to a close family friend, will be named Maxwell — Maxi for short).

Zinfandel doesn’t quite do it for me, but maybe that’s because I’m slightly sensitive to alcoholic baby names. Some history: One of my nicknames has always been Paulie Girl. It was only a few years ago, when I stumbled upon the beer St. Pauli Girl, that I started to question where that name had come from. Lo and behold, after some research (a call to my dad), it turns out… yes! I was nicknamed after a beer! Sigh.

Anyways, personal baggage aside, I think there are better alcohol-related baby names than Zinfandel. A few off the top of my head:

Margarita This name is a classic in several foreign languages, including Spanish, Russian and Greek.

Brandy I used to be obsessed with this name, mostly because of the gymnast Brandy Johnson.

Apple Martin Okay, you probably aren’t going to borrow Gwyneth Paltrow’s baby name, but I just have always thought it’s so funny that her name is just one letter away from an apple martini.

Mimosa A brunch drink and a flower! Can’t get much better than that. I actually know someone named Mimose, which is a nice alternative.

Perry This wine is made from fermented pears, and is a cute name for a little girl or boy.

Tonto If you can get past the Lone Ranger connection, this fermented banana beverage from Uganda could also be a good boy’s name.

Sherry Okay, it’s a little 70′s, but still a better name than Zinfandel!

Rakia Made of distilled fermented fruit, this Balkan beverage is named with a nice combination of sounds.

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  1. by Kayla

    On March 22, 2012 at 9:02 am

    Don’t feel bad. I was named after a Soap Opera character. lol. My mom named me Kayla after Kayla Brady from Days of Our Lives. And to make it worse my last name starts with a B.

  2. by Mya

    On March 22, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    If I named my daughter after alcohol it would definitely be Tequila

  3. by Selena

    On April 27, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    Kayla:
    I was named after Selena Cross in the book/film/soap “Peyton Place”. She’s sexually abused by her step-father, gets pregnant by him, has an illegal abortion, gets battered by him, kills him, then stands trial for his murder.
    I watched the movie when I was 15 and asked my mom why she named me after Selena, and not Allison. “Allison was pretty, popular, and had a hot boyfriend!” (like I said, I was 15. LOL) My mom said that Selena overcame hardships with grace and dignity and she hoped her daughter would be just as beautiful.
    Forgiven. LOL

    (BTW, if I just ruined the story for anyone… the book’s been out since 1956. Wah. LOL)