10 Moms to Avoid (Or Just Ignore)


Yes, this blog is about cooking for babies and toddlers. But sometimes you’ve just gotta break the rules and today is my day to go rogue. Roll with me on this one: My next post will be on topic, I promise.

I’ve been a mom for 14 months now and I’m convinced I’ve met every type of mom out there. Most moms I meet are amazing. But a few encounters that I’ve had recently have convinced me that there are certain types of moms who must be avoided, or, at the very least, ignored. These moms are unsupportive, unhelpful, and even toxic to your health and happiness. Here they are, along with ideas on how to deal with them if you must. Watch out: If you haven’t met them already, chances are you will.

1. The critical mom. My neighbor admitted to another mom (in a new mom support group) that she pumped her breast milk instead of nursing so she could tell how much her son was eating. The mom she confided in spent the next 10 minutes berating her  for  “depriving her son of the nutritious fats that baby only gets from nursing.” Really? Really? Solution: Smile and excuse yourself to go to the restroom, grab a glass of water, whatever. And avoid confiding in this mom again.

2. The smug mom. A mom in my building whose 11-month-old daughter walks was shocked to discover my 14-month-old does not. After she grilled me on whether I was worried that my son was behind — as I was balancing a sick baby in one arm and loading vomit-covered clothes into a washing machine with the other — she assured me condescendingly that he was “probably” fine. For the record, he is. Solution: Don’t get defensive, instead try “How exciting that [Anna] is walking. Soon she and [Mason] will be chasing each other around!”

3. The antisocial mom.  I made the mistake of asking an aloof mom at daycare how she planned to celebrate her kid’s upcoming first birthday. She reacted as if I had just asked her for her Facebook password. In blood. Solution: Make a graceful exit from the conversation and do your best to avoid this mom at pick-up and drop-off. You can’t win.

4. The buzz-kill mom. A first-time mom I know joined a mommy-to-be group at 7 weeks pregnant. After my friend introduced herself to the group another mom looked pointedly at her and announced that she miscarried her first baby at nine weeks. It’s awful that the mom in her group lost a pregnancy but telling another pregnant mom a horror story is never OK.  Solution: Be sympathetic but keep in mind that every pregnancy is different; one tragedy does not make another.

5. The perfect mom. She’s at your local playground (twice a day, natch!), with a bag full of homemade organic snacks. Her kid is a better walker, talker, eater — you name it! — than yours and she’s more than happy to share how your kid can be just as perfect — if you give her the chance. Solution: Change the subject. If that doesn’t work, let your kid guide you to another part of the playground.

6. The backstabbing mom. She is the biggest offender of all. She’s your best friend/biggest supporter when you’re around but as soon as you’re out of sight (or earshot) she’s picking your parenting prowess apart. Solution: Run — don’t walk — away. If she’s criticizing another mom it’s only a matter of time until she’s criticizing you, too.

7. The insensitive mom. A friend with a chronic illness confided in another friend that she felt guilty for taking medication during her pregnancy. The other mom replied, “Oh I never could have done that. I couldn’t have lived with myself if something had been wrong with my baby.” Solution: Of course every mom wants to do what’s best for her baby, and part of that is taking care of herself, too. Turn to friends you can trust for support — and tune out the rest.

8. The negative mom. Occasional griping is perfectly normal and perfectly acceptable — but this mom is always complaining about her kid, her marriage, her job, blah, blah, blah. Being around her can actually make you feel more stressed out/depressed/negative, too. Solution: Don’t waste your time on a mom who brings you down. Surround yourself with moms who lift you up instead.

9. The judgmental mom. Her way is the only way. Period. Hot button topics that she loves to debate include breastfeeding, sleep habits, and developmental milestones. Solution: Unless you’re up for a debate, it’s easier to just smile and nod while you’re around her — and get away as quickly as possible.

10. The worst-case-scenario mom. What if her three-month-old doesn’t get into the right kindergarten? What if her kid tries finger foods and chokes? What if the stranger in the park is actually a kidnapper? Solution: If she’s a good friend, try to help her put it all into perspective — all moms worry, after all. Otherwise minimize the amount of time you spend around her. A constant worrier only adds to your stress.

Is it just us New York City moms, or have you met toxic moms, too? Share your story — and how you handled the situation!



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  1. by Pam T

    On November 2, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    I will be at the park and I seem to encounter the moms who smile and are all happy as their kid throws sand or pushes another child down, and you try and correct them but the parents ignoring it, but when their child gets pushed or sand thrown at them its the end of the world and you’re getting death glares as you usher your child to another part of the playground.

  2. by Lauren

    On November 2, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    I confess, I’ve been at least one of these moms at times! Luckily I have good friends who snap me out of it!

    I do have one friend who is an “all natural” (home birthing, midwifing, breastfeeding) mom and I lean more towards the other side (2 c-sections -1 planned, MD’s, and premeditated formula feeding). She and I find ourselves at odds on occasion and we’ve come to the conclusion that it’s best to hold tight to your own beliefs, but hold on to your friends even tighter.

    I do things my way and she does them hers. As long as we don’t try to push our beliefs onto each other, we do just fine! Just remember that people act in ways that make sense to them and it’s best to assume that nothing you can say or do is going to change their mind – so don’t try. It just hurts people.

    That’s enough rambling from me today!

  3. by Ginny

    On November 2, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    Seriously?! Equating a miscarriage to a “disapointment” with her first pregnancy???? I’m so sick/angry I couldn’t read the rest of the article!

  4. by Jessica

    On November 2, 2011 at 1:41 pm

    Looks like ^someone^ is being the oversensitive mom. It’s just an article, not Mein Kamph.

  5. by Jessica

    On November 2, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    To the writer of this article…I noticed that after that girl left a negative comment about misscarriage, that you revised that paragraph in your article, then you deleted her comment and mine. People are going to be offended everyday at ANYTHING you say. Your article was well written and i enjoyed it, but next time dont revise it just to cater to someone completely negative.

  6. by Becks

    On November 2, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    I must confess also – I have been one or more of these moms from time to time. What’s funny is that I read this list and agree whole-heartedly that all of these moms are annoying, and I am embarrassed to share some of the same qualities. I always try to remind myself that we all do things differently and there is no one right way and it’s not fair to judge because everyone’s situation is different. But, sometimes the evil mom side slips through!

  7. by Erica

    On November 2, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    Wow. “Moms to Avoid”… You think you’ve seen it all and you haven’t even been a mother for two years yet. LOL Thanks for the laugh.

  8. by Devon

    On November 2, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    THIS is why I am no longer a part of a mommy group. I’m probably most like the Worst-Case-Scenario mom, which I certainly know has its issues. But I couldn’t understand how a group of women meant to SUPPORT each other could actually be so horrible for each other.

  9. by Kris

    On November 2, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    I am one of those mom’s that has gotten more than her fair share of dirty looks from mother’s on playgrounds, in the grocery store, or just walking around my neighborhood. SNOBS! (while living in NorCal)
    Anyway, Have encountered the condescending mom recently (living in the South now)… She asked how old my child was and I told her 2. Then she sounded taken aback, “Oh, I thought he was 16 months, he’s so small.” After this comment, I realized she was insulting me and the size of my child. Funny thing, this women is not only Godly, but is very charitable and adopts many children… Interesting combo.

  10. by Loni

    On November 2, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    I think you’re a little harsh on the antisocial mommy – we aren’t antisocial because we choose to be, it’s just our natures. We want to be part of the in crowd and feel like we are included – we just don’t really know how. So if she reacts a little strange, maybe just take it in stride and see if you can’t find common ground to draw her out. You’ll likely make a friend for life if you can get her out of her shell :)

  11. by Johanna

    On November 2, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    The one about the miscarriage… im sorry but when I was pregnant and people told me stories like that it did nothing but upset me. I am a worst case scenario mom and I constantly worried that something would happen to my baby. I feel horrible women have miscarriages, but to someone who’s only 7thing weeks pregnant that’s a huge downer. And im not sorry if that offended anyone.

  12. by Heather Morgan Shott

    On November 2, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    Thank you all for your feedback! Jessica: My intention wasn’t to revise any copy. I was drafting the article and mistakenly hit “publish” instead of draft, which I didn’t realize, and then once I finished I hit publish thinking it was the first time the article was going “live.” (Guess I need to read the WordPress manual again, eh?)

    As for the comment, it was mistakenly removed after it had been pegged on the backend as “span”, which I realized once I saw the author’s remarks on FB. I have emailed her personally to apologize and I’ve restored it to the site.

    I hope that helps clarify a few things! Please keep the feedback coming (good and bad).

  13. by Heather Morgan Shott

    On November 2, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    Sorry, I meant “spam.”

    And, Loni, thank you for your thoughts. I will try with her again!!

  14. by Loni

    On November 2, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    I felt the same way Johanna. I am sympathetic to women who have to go through this but the first trimester I just couldn’t stand to hear about miscarriages I was so deathly afraid of having one myself, I was nearly hysterical with fear. I understand that women need to reach out but aren’t there people better suited to reach out to?

  15. by Crystal

    On November 2, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    I really enjoyed this article, I think another good one would have been “by the book mom” I know someone that if its not done exactly how the baby book says, then it doesn’t happen. Then when you do something differently than what is in the book (like start your baby on solids before 6 months, or switch to formula) they made snide comments to you about how thats not how its “supposed” to be done according to the book. AHH!

  16. by KItchenwench

    On November 2, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    I used to get all worked up about the different choices and decisions when my kids were small (my oldest is 11). I really think I have encountered all of these moms at one time or another. Now that I have school-age children I will list another mom to avoid. The “My-child-would-never-do-that!” Mom. She is to be avoided at all costs! Anytime your child and hers get into it over anything, YOUR child is always wrong! Her angel on the other hand needs consoling and is traumatized by the whole experience. Another Mom to avoid “Self-Righteous Home-schooling Mom”. No matter what your child is learning in school it couldn’t possibly compare to the perfect, idyllic learning experience that she has crafted for her child. Avoid this woman like the plague! Do not wonder what drugs she is taking or suggest she is delusional, just get away!!!!!!! I hope you newbies have learned something about what is waiting for you later on. enjoy.

  17. by Donna

    On November 2, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    Thanks for the chuckle :) I’m a VERY new Mum (12 week old son) and I have already come across some mums like this, and I’ve probably been one like this at times too! I still struggle with following my intuition when it comes to my baby and ignoring everyone else, but that seems to be the only good advice I have when it comes to ANYONE (just not the toxic mums) asserting an opinion on your parenting skills (especially the monster-in-law if you have one like mine).

    Crystal, the only comment I have for the by-the-book mums is “Which book?” hahaha! I struggle with that from people too, and then when I turn around and talk about some of the research done around whatever is being discussed, and it contradicts what they’re saying they think it’s a load of nonsense.

    And Kitchenwench, I know Self-righteous home-schooling mothers can be a pain in the behind. I don’t plan to home school but I do know some lovely women who do and who aren’t like that at all, so I guess I’m just asking not to throw every homeschooling mum in the same basket :)

  18. by Kathryn

    On November 2, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    I am not a mom, but I hope to be and can not wait to be. I dislike the moms (…”friends”…) who treat me like I am unimportant and do not understand anything about children or motherhood because I am not a mom. Yes, there are some things that I will not understand until I am a mom. I do, however, have opinions and thoughts about children and motherhood. It is OK to listen to what I have to say in a casual conversation.

  19. by Jessica

    On November 2, 2011 at 5:29 pm

    There is one that isn’t posted here. There is the type of “ironic” mom who gets up set at moms for being “to judgmental” but turns around and judges other people.

    EG: Publicly berating people for food choices (breastfeeding vs exclusive pumping vs formula) but then turns around and gets upset when someone comments on her child’s development or her choices in caring for her child.

    One thing mothers need to learn early on is everyone does it differently. As long as the baby is healthy and happy, its not your place to criticize what works for other people.

    The best advice I received in child classes: everyone will give you advice, most of it will be outdated (from mother/mother in laws eg using rum for teething), or come off as rude and contrary to what you want to do. The key is to smile and go on your way, there is no sense on fighting mothers on it because as much as you dislike it, that’s how much they believe in it. In most cases arguing about it isn’t going to change their mind.

  20. by Brooke

    On November 2, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    I know a few mother’s I would like to avoid, though difficult because most of them are family. These mothers are quick to correct, or discipline, my child when doing something wrong, but do not feel the need to say a word to theirs when they are doing the same thing. When I try to correct, or discipline, their children for doing something wrong I am told I am being to hard on them, or I get the look that says “how dare you talk to my child like that!” I do not have a problem with family correcting, or discplining, my child when he does something deserving, however, if their child is doing the same thing with my child, I wish they would worry about their own child and I will deal with mine.

  21. by Patricia

    On November 2, 2011 at 8:10 pm

    Ooooh, Mom 3. That was me–10 years ago. Sometimes–especially after an encounter with a competitive mom–questions like, “How are you going to celebrate your child’s first birthday?” sound like, “So how many acrobats, clowns, face painters, unicyclists, and baby leopards will be at your baby’s birthday party? Not as many as at my child’s party last month, right?”

  22. by Heather

    On November 2, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    Eeek, Patricia, I never thought of it that way. I was just truly excited the kid was turning 1. Huge milestone! Chalk it up to being overly enthusiastic when I see babes I know hit those developmental goals: talking, walking…turning 1. Maybe I need to dial back some of that enthusiasm-:)

  23. by Abby

    On November 3, 2011 at 9:54 am

    I have mixed feelings about your article.. I found it somewhat humorous, yet it stung a bit because I have been every one of those moms at some moment or another. And I don’t think I’m the only one. Now that I know which moms you think should be avoided, can you enlighten us about what I “should” act like as a mom so that other moms won’t avoid me?

    Personally, I think the mother without flaws should be the first to throw stones.

  24. by Abby

    On November 3, 2011 at 10:02 am

    Now after reading through the comments, I’m appalled by the reaction from some moms who have used this as an opportunity to bash other mothers. This article is the epitome of irony; it’s about judging judgmental moms, and only encourages even MORE judgement in the process.

    Can’t say I’m a fan of fellow mom-bashing of any kind.

  25. by Sarah

    On November 3, 2011 at 10:19 am

    I agree with those who said we’ve all been one or more of these types of moms at one time or another. Especially us first time moms. As educated and prepared as I thought I was, there is still so much I’m trying to figure out! One thing I found myself doing is seeking out company who would support my instincts on a particular situation. For example, whenever I want support about continuing to nurse my son past a year, I reach out to my LLL moms. If I brought up the issue with my in-laws and even some of my own family members, I would get some negative looks/comments. When I want support about choosing to vaccinate my son or sending him to daycare, I talk to other moms who are doing the same thing. You’re asking for trouble when you go up to a “crunchy” mom and start talking about how many shots your son got at his one month appointment and how he cried.

    I liked this article a lot! I think the title should be “ignore” and not “avoid” because it’s important for us women to support one another and stick together while politely respecting our differences in opinion.

  26. by Lynn

    On November 3, 2011 at 10:56 am

    I must be the antisocial mom. I have been (as well as my kids) stood up so much, that I just gave up on trusting any of these people in my area.

    I also can’t stand that moms think they’re better than me because they Exclusively Breast Feed and I hated it so stopped at 6 weeks with 2 kids, and couldn’t with the other 2 so they are sure to be less healthy than THEIR children. I fed my kid solids early, so they’re surely to be overweight. I let them play outside and go shopping right after, so I surely do not bathe the kids. And when their kid pushes my kid and I say something, I’m the evil “B” from He-double-hockey-sticks and are teaching my kids to be that way too. It’s interesting all the things I supposedly do “wrong”.

    There are countless things I do that no one thinks I should do…however, can I just be the braggy mom for just a minute? My kids know how to behave in public, not scream and yell, and while they may have their days, they leave those bad times at home. So all those judgemental know-it-alls can just…Well, I’ll let ya’ll fill in the blanks here…:)

  27. by Patricia

    On November 3, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    Heather, I, and many others, may sometimes misread warm, enthusiastic questions because of what’s going on in our lives. When my dental hygienist asked with great vivaciousness, “So, where did you GO this summer?” I probably gave her “the look” because I couldn’t think of a polite way to tell a near-stranger that my mother had recently died and that I was still grieving while trying to settle her estate. I think more-general questions/comments that allow folks the option of a brief answer (“Is it true that Phoebe’s turning 1 next week?” or “Did you enjoy your summer?”) give the other person a graceful way to participate in a bit of small talk without worrying about how to face an unintentionally hard question.

  28. by Rossy

    On November 4, 2011 at 2:46 am

    As many others, I’ve been one or another of the avoid/ignore type of Moms. I would say more often than not i am worst-case-scenario mom … as many first time moms, my mind tend to slip into overly protective mode now and then, my eyes are too quick to notice the dangers lurking around rather than focus on the joy and fun of new experiences. But in my defence – it is a whole new safety game when your curious toddler is wearing size 5T clothes before the age of 3 and has the physical ability and strenght of a 5 year old but is still just overgrown baby :)

    On that note @Lynn: please do share the public bahviour training … i’m finding it real hard to deal with a street tantrum when my son is 46 pounds and 42″ tall – i can barely lift him safely, let alone remove him from a situation.

    All my life (36 yrs) i have found women turn into a bunch of catty teenage girls when in group of 3 or more – so never thought a mom group would be fun or supportive.

    At the end of the day, MOM KNOWS BEST! :D

  29. by Elena

    On November 4, 2011 at 8:19 am

    I’ve been a mom with six kids for 22 years – so take this for what it’s worth.

    I think once in a while it’s worth it to listen to advice someone gives you. The neighbor talking about the fat in breast milk – had a good point. Would it hurt to give it the benefit of a doubt? And anyway by pumping and then bottle feeding that mom is doing TWICE THE WORK. It doesn’t need to be that hard.

  30. by Marie

    On November 4, 2011 at 10:27 am

    I live in NYC too and unfortunately ,I have run into 7 of these types of moms. With my first son, I learned to have a thick skin and not let the comments get to me. I would add the Overachieving Mom who gauges how well their child is developing based on what other kids that age are doing.

  31. by GM

    On November 4, 2011 at 10:31 am

    This list seems sort of shallow to me. Who hasn’t exhibited some of those behaviors at some point? It’s like the person who made this list said: Okay, here is a list of unforgivable crimes. The only sentence can be ostracizing!

    No thanks, I prefer to hang out with grown ups. They might do screwed up things from time to time, or be in a mood, but their complexity intrigues me.

  32. by Caleb Powell

    On November 6, 2011 at 7:43 am

    This list is pure blather: What a tame list, with general worries, and “cliched” advice that would put Dear Abby to shame. C’mon, you’re a woman, women are superior, rise to your level and prove female superiority with a more controversial list.

    And I have met all these “moms” in one way or the other, and I’m a little bit more blunt in calling out smarmy snarky moms (and dads).

  33. by Debra Engelken

    On November 6, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    Wow, this article just described “LIFE”.

    These are the people we can be around with or without children.

  34. by theresa

    On November 8, 2011 at 11:02 am

    I have mixed feelings about your article. People have so many emotioins we deal with on a daily basis…is not right to judge others without really knowing what is going on in their lives. It is crucial that we all accept others for who they are and most importantly, dont judge a book by its cover.

  35. by Erin

    On November 8, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    I would say the worst part of raising my son when he was an infant was other moms. I was very young when I had my son, so I think my experience was probably a little worse then what most people probably experience. But, I am happy to say that I have never been any of these moms, and never will be. To each his own. I don’t care about how other moms choose to parent, as long their kids are not being neglected or abused.

    Call my cynical if you will, but I honestly don’t think other moms really care either. Their outrage over your decision to formula feed, their concern for your 16 month old who still isn’t walking, or their curiosity about your child’s Pediatrician, day care, and sleeping schedule, have more to do with them seeking out ways to congratulate themselves for or validate their own parenting ability.

    You could avoid or ignore these types of moms, or you could just give them exactly what they are looking for and probably desperately need-a pat on the back for a job well done. Whenever I encounter an overly protective, judgmental, smug, or critical mom, I always make it a point to tell her she’s got some great kids, they are lucky to have her as a mom, and she is doing a good job. Those who are acting out of insecurity and are just seeking validation will change their attitude towards you, the rest are just being mean for the sake of being mean. Those are the ones you truly want to avoid.

  36. by Liz W

    On November 8, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    I am 41 and am 10 weeks pregnant for the first time. While I’m a bit worried about stuff like Down’s syndrome, reading lists like this one makes me damn glad of my age.

    I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to respond to nosy questions, but come on. Do you go up to people and ask how much they make or weigh or paid for their house? I understand wanting to compare your kid to others to reassure yourself your kid is normal, but to an extent that’s what your pediatrician is for and books are for.

    I think I’m just going to not answer a lot of those questions unless I know the other person well. If I can steer someone to another topic, fine, otherwise I’ll just have to risk being Antisocial Mom.

  37. by Liz W

    On November 8, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    Anyway, my point is, I’m old enough to stand up for myself. If someone want to give me genuine information, fine, but if they’re going to preach at me, they can buzz off. I shudder to think what it would have been like if I’d been younger. People are so disrespectful of younger women.

  38. by Heather Morgan Shott

    On November 8, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    I like your style, Erin!

  39. by Carmen

    On November 8, 2011 at 1:37 pm

    I don’t think you should avoid someone just because they say something you don’t agree with or think is insensitive. Sometimes people just say things, not because they are truly rude or snobby or whatever, they just say them without thinking or understanding that it may offend the other person. I feel that better advice would be to have compassion for the people that you disagree with. Maybe you won’t end up being best buds, but if you discount someone because they say ONE thing that makes you feel bad, you may end up losing the potential to meet a new friend. Even people we love say dumb things.

  40. by martha

    On November 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    You missed one! The “my life is so hard, no one else realizes how hard it is to be a mom” mom. I have a friend like that, who is such a nice person, but everything that happens to her is SO hard, no one else understands! When she was pregnant with her 2nd, it was like, it’s SO hard to be pregnant, etc. Now the baby is here, and it’s all SO hard with the baby. (And this is someone who had a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby!) those of us with 2 and 3 kids already just kinda roll our eyes at her!

  41. by Kristin

    On November 10, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    Definitely been all of these types! Here is the thing though, what the heck are we supposed to talk about? Finding friends now that I am a mom, is so hard. I miss my easy friendships in high school and college. You never mean to offend someone, but we are all figuring this out as we go. We have kids, they dominate our lives, it’s what we talk about. I am learning to not be so sensitive but also be a better listener and talk a bit less. :)

  42. by Trish

    On November 11, 2011 at 10:36 am

    As a mother of 7, I really wish I would encounter more people like you Erin. Ditto to Heather’s comment, “I like your style” :)

  43. by Monica

    On November 13, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    I think this article was “enlightening” for the fact that EVERYONE has an opinion. I think the main idea here should really be that every child is different and everyone is different in their choices for parenting. There is no one book or one way to do anything. We all do our best and even with the “best” advice in the world we still “mess up”. We are human not perfect. Acceptance is key! Follow the old adage “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. With that being said, I’m not being preachy (or meaning to be at least because I know how imperfect I am, but hey we all might as well be wandering in the dark. Do what you can and love your kids with everything you have and just smile and nod at all the rest! :D

  44. by Nikki

    On November 16, 2011 at 12:23 am

    Your article was spot on. My favorite part was when you wrote “She reacted as if I had just asked her for her Facebook password. In blood.” I honestly laughed, out loud, for five minutes. lol The mom that I hated while pregnant & at/before every milestone: the “just wait” moms. ANYTIME I say that I am excited for my daughter to start doing something, I have someone telling me how terrible my life is going to become. They start on how horrible my daughter starting to crawl, talk, walk, etc is going to be and how I wish that I could take that back. Yes, we all wish they could be the babies that just want to lay on our chest, but I am too excited to see her grow. I personally feel with every milestone my daughter keeps getting better, but to each their own I guess. Thanks again for this article, it’s great!

  45. by Meme

    On November 20, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    As a mother with two grown kids, I have to admit I stopped thinking this was serious at “I’ve been a mom for 14 months now and I’m convinced I’ve met every type of mom out there.” Why? Because you forgot to mention the “I am the mother of my first toddler, and after 14 months I have classified all you others and created a bad-mom-typology”-mom.

    Apart from that, a funny read :) And haven’t you been one of those moms at least once? I know I have!

  46. by EveV

    On November 28, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    Well said Erin. I never really thought about it that way. I tend to keep to myself, but understand the importance of getting out there to socialize my child. I must admit that it is daunting because of the “personalities” one can encounter, or endure, but Erin’s words are the epitome of grace and understanding. Demonstrating that through our actions, we teach others and our children, how to behave. Thank you for the inspiration Erin.

  47. by WarmLimeGreen

    On December 21, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    I know some people who ARE one of these kinds of moms, but more commonly, to me, these types describe what we are all capable of depending on mood or social situation. I have been guilty of a some of these, but it will be very relational. e.g. compared to some moms, i can sound like super mom causing anxiety in others- in comparison to others, I am a mess- like that.

    But what I really don’t like is an additional category – the NON-mom that wants to know why everyone says it is so hard.
    . (and sound like it)in talking to someone else. we’ve all met someone like this- she minimizes how hard it is without first hand experience. she’s seen someone else do more with less from afar…so why can’t you? I was telling one non mom friend of mine about how because i was getting so little sleep I was a little clumsy and not able to get as much out of the day. She goes on about how her mom back in the village of a developing country raised 4 kids ALL by herself without modern conveniences: laundry machine, dishwasher, etc. and had no household help. i think she thought she was being conversational, but her tone was errrrr- condescending. it was condescending, but out of naivete so at least she was not trying to be obnoxious. – but these sorts of conversations happen often enough with some women that it’s annoying to tell certain women things about your life.

  48. by Erin

    On February 10, 2012 at 8:02 am

    I was in a mom group after my second son was born. My two sons have a 13-year age gap. The moms were awful. One mom was spreading lies about me, they were all back stabbing each other, the message board was used as a place to attack other members. I was ostracized by nearly every mom in that group. Moms that did not even know me hated me. Finally, I had enough and defended myself against an online message board attack. I was kicked out of the group. My husband could not believe that women could be so evil. Hahaha. Oh, they can..and they are. I stick to myself now since my self esteem was severely damaged by that mom group.

  49. by AR

    On February 10, 2012 at 8:47 am

    …Those are quite a lot of women to avoid….

    It’s a good article and everything and I began reading it with interest, but by the end I was overwhelmed by the amount of people you tell me to stay away from. Maybe in the future, you can combine some of the traits. Like the judgmental and the critical moms are kind of similar.

    I also hope these women do it often and weren’t categorized as someone to avoid when they just made a mistake like that once…. For example, maybe the anti-social mom was just criticized by the critical mom and so she acted like she did because she thought you were criticizing her as well?

    However, if the women are consistently doing these things, I can understand that we should just keep away from them.

  50. by Alice

    On February 23, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    I’m a mother of two and I have no “mom” friends and don’t want any either. Why? I don’t want their unwanted advice or opinion. Besides, these women only have one-topic conversations about their great kids and nothing else.

    Really, these women need to learn to keep their mouths shut.

  51. by LB

    On February 26, 2012 at 8:49 am

    I think too often a lot of moms worry about doing everything “perfect”. I will be a mom in a few months and I noticed myself questioning a lot of things I was reading….for example: The whole thing about drinking too much coffee. I thought, “oh no, i drink coffee, something might happen to my baby.” but then i stopped myself and thought…”Ok, MY MOM drank lots of coffee.She worked 10 hour days up until I was born & went straight back to work after that.” Sure, not every case is the same, but I feel that Moms way- back-when didn’t have books on hand or internet resources to look at on demand…yet I think I (& millions of other people) turned out quite alright.

    I think it’s only natural as a mom to be worried at some point about SOMETHING you do during your pregnancy & beyond. Face it-everyone thinks their kid is the cutest, smartest, etc. I say just stop worrying, use common sense, try your best to raise your child to be a decent human being & above all, give that baby the love only a mom can give.

    Stop the worrying & just be thankful for the title of “mom”. It’s a special blessing & we all could use the reminder now & then! :)

  52. by TS

    On March 7, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    11. The mom blogger. Similar to the backstabbing mom, she acts like she is a friendly everyday gal then blogs about you behind your back. But not really, because it is on THE INTERNET for you to read. For examples, see every mom on this site, author included. (She basically just judged and blogged about the different types of “toxic” moms she has encountered. Keep in mind these are real people she has met, interacts with and has now written about on the internet.) This woman is a shameless self promoter to be avoided.

  53. by Jennifer Wiker

    On March 10, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    You all overthink the whole thing..parenting is parenting, life is life. I have an 18 year old, a 14 year old,and a 19 month old, and have never “made a playdate”, or joined a “mom club”. REALLY? My friends are my friends, and I love each and every one of them for the wonderful women they are, regardless of how may children they do, or do not have, or how they choose to raise them. I prefer to surround my sons with people I hold near and dear to my heart, and peope who share the values I believe in.My children have been “socialized” thru time spent with my friend’s children, and cousins, neighbors, etc., etc…relax ladies. You will all do fine, and your children will too, as long as you do your best to love them.

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