Posts Tagged ‘ show me what you’re working with ’

Super No No’s or Don’ts for Maternity Photos

Thursday, December 6th, 2012

Let’s get something straight. I believe in documenting pregnancy. ALL of it. Like the fact that I’ve cried every day this week. About nothing. Hello third trimester hormones, you’re obviously bunking with me.

In that same spirit of documentation, I believe in photographing the pregnant bod. I’ve done a total crap shoot of a job of it this pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t tout the importance of remembering the incredible act of growing a baby. Whether a professional, your shorty, or the bathroom mirror helps you photograph, take at least a few of this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I know many a woman who doesn’t want a camera near her for 9 months, but I think it’s a treasure to share with your child. Also, how can you deliver a convincing dose of guilt regarding the sacrifice it was to birth the little hooligan when they’re being an entitled teenager unless you give them documented proof of your belly so large it defines the laws of gravity and rips through every shirt that dares to cover it?

Maternity photos are a relatively newish trend. It wasn’t common during my mother’s child bearing years to have a professional photographer snap the bump. Now, it’s common place. We took them with our first and I’m hoping to find time to do it with this pregnancy as well.

The number one DO for maternity photos is do what makes you happy. If you’re happy, you’ll look beautiful and love them, and that’s what matters. If it makes you happy to take naked nudie pictures on the beach with an “artistically” finger-painted bump courtesy of your toddler while your husband stands awkwardly clear of center stage giving an overly enthusiastic thumbs up, then do it. It doesn’t matter what haters like myself think.

Honestly, I’ve seen a lot of beautiful ideas for maternity photos on the Internets, and while most of them are sweet, a few out there need a little…editing. Or a lot. Or a serious “Just Say No” campaign.

Let me offer (and probably offend) some unsolicited tips to keep your pregnancy pictures off (a gem of a website). Remember, the point is to celebrate the belly, not scar future generations with your uh, creative ideas.

This Lady’s Take on Super No No’s or Don’ts for Maternity Photos

1. Go Nudie with Your Partner. I’m going on record and saying couple’s nudity is not for pregnancy photos. No one wants any reminders of how your baby was conceived.

2. Wear Costumes. Dressing the belly up for Halloween is one thing. To remember yourself as a maternally glowing Bozo the Clown? Hard to pull off.

3. Be the Overly Supportive Partner. See reference to number one, but I’m not sure why a man needs to be shirtless in a pregnancy pic. It screams belly envy and over compensating by baring their pectoralis major. Nobody’s breasts should be the star of the shoot.

4. Draw on the Belly. Everyone knows there’s a baby in there. Drawing a fetus on your belly is overkill. And creepy.

5. Look like a Creepin’ Impregnater. If you want your significant other in the picture, put them in the picture. His leering in the background doesn’t send quite the right “supportive” vibe.

6. Compare Bellies. There’s a beautiful reason you’re the size of a house, what’s his beautiful excuse?

7. Use Guns as a Prop. Maybe it’s just my own hangup, but something about babies and guns just doesn’t mix for me.

8. Look Uncomfortable. I’m fully aware it’s difficult to look like like the most comfortable lass when you’re nine months deep, but set yourself up for success I say. Pick poses that work with pregnancy. I’ve never seen them supermodels pull off the pregnant lady reclines in tree pose. If the professionals can’t do it, maybe the rest of us shouldn’t either.

Shoot girl, you know I know that sometimes it’s hard to feel beautiful while pregnant, but I think if you steer clear of the above list, you’ll be taking a step in the right direction. Okay really, you’ll be taking one giant leap for pregnancy-kind.

Image: Yours truly working the awkward “peeping bump” pose

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