Tuesday, November 20th, 2012
Seeing as it’s Thanksgiving this week, I felt it appropriate to share my gratitude.
I recently wrote about my fears and the doctor’s concerns regarding fluid in our baby’s kidneys. Many have inquired about out latest ultrasound, (thank you for being so thoughtful) and today we saw our little girl. When we glimpsed her sweet little self, we were informed her fluid levels were perfectly normal and no longer cause for concern. I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for the gift of her health. Having a baby is such a leap of faith, an uncontrollable adventure, that I am humbled that this worry, this fear, no longer exists. While worry always accompanies parenthood, today, none of it has surfaced. I only feel thankful.
While it may be easy to say, “of course you’re grateful, the baby is fine,” what I mean to say is I felt grateful and at peace before that news came.
As the week wore on and the appointment got closer and closer, I thought I would grow increasingly anxious. Instead, I felt my heart brim with love for my little family and an acceptance for whatever the ultrasound brought. It didn’t matter if anything was wrong, we love this baby. I felt myself wanting to freeze frame so many moments in my head that kept me above the fear, and more thrilled at the thought of the little babe that will soon join our family.
As Harper galloped down the hall, a bundle of loud stripey leggings and crazy curls instructing me, “come on Peter Pan, let’s get away from Captain Hook,” I felt gratitude swell in my heart.
I felt it again as Harper, sporting only her princess chonies (Spanish for undies) and toddler belly, sat on the counter, enraptured in playing sous chef to the Rands making cookies.
And the feeling solidified in my heart as I walked behind my girl and her dad, my love, into the appointment today. I watched her little arm slung around his neck, her spiraled pigtails bouncing to his step. I felt at peace.
Later, as we watched our second baby girl being coy on the screen, I felt a sense of awe at her small little body and the beauty in the leap of faith it is to have a child. With my motherly bias, I knew I’d never seen a more beautiful baby. Again, I wanted to freeze frame the moment: Harper chattering about the toys she’d share with her sissy boo, the Rands asking sweet follow-up questions about the baby’s measurements and heartbeat, and me tearing up with gratitude for my little family.
This Thanksgiving, I know many people will place family at the top of their gratitude lists and I, more so than ever, will unequivocally be one of them.