Wednesday, December 19th, 2012
Speaking of Gift Guides…
I thought I’d seen a lot of unique baby items out there, but I was not prepared for the fetus paper weight/key chain. (I know people have balked at my use of the word fetus in the past, but it is the medical term for a baby and in this instance, no matter how they try to sell their “angel” paraphernalia, I can only call it a fetus.)
One Japanese firm is selling a 3D-printed model of your unborn child, for about $1,200. They market it as “the shape of an angel,” but I think I prefer my angels with wings and halos.
I love babies, especially pictures of them, but honestly, those 3D ultrasounds always give me a slight case of the heebie jeebies. It’s easier to envision my sweet little cherub in those old school, black and white, 2D versions where I get to fill in the blanks about hair color, eye shape, and chubby cheeks. The 3D ones leave less to the imagination and it’s hard to get a real idea of the darling baby when the nurse keeps saying, “I can’t get a good picture because she’s right up in the placenta.” Not so angelic.
To create the creepy replica a MRI is completed and then the entire pelvic region of the mother and baby are 3D-printed. While maybe, maybe, on an extremely hormonal and nostalgic day I could understand wanting a statue of the babe, I can’t imagine a day where I want to enshrine my uterus for all to see.
I know it’s currently trendy to have earthy mantel adornments such as antlers and owls, but I think the uterus takes the nature trend one step too far. I don’t see antler loving fading anytime fast, but I also don’t see an upswing in uterus mantel dressings as well. Maybe that’s too much nature, no?
Oh you wouldn’t put it on the mantel? Then the key chain is for you. It is stocking stuffer season after all. The larger model comes with a mobile phone trinket to accessorize your phone. Who doesn’t want to dangle their uterus from their cell phone? I’ve contemplated it many times. Okay, you’re right, it’s more of a white elephant gift. A very expensive white elephant gift.
According to the company they received requests from women who do not want to “forget the feelings and experience of that time.” Yes, it is a once in a lifetime experience but it feels a bit like exploiting a pregnant lady’s emotions wtih a $1,200 asking price. There are a lot of ways to remember pregnancy that don’t cost a respectable start to your fetus’ college education.
What does one do with such an expensive memorabilia? Pass it on to future generations? I doubt my 18-year-old daughter will want my documented uterus. How embarrassing mom. Here’s my wedding dress. Yes, my twenty-year-old bod was bangin’ and so was my uterus in its baby making prime.
I’m going to pass on this Christmas gift. How’s about you?
Image: Body painting of pregnant woman and fetus via rtem /Shutterstock.com