Monday, December 3rd, 2012
Darling baby girl,
The Christmas lights on the window were barely visible in the early morning sun and your big sister gabbed in her highchair while I fetched the bacon that had begun to pop from the pan. As we sat down for a lazy breakfast, your sister asked to tickle you. With her greasified, syrupy-covered chubby toddler hands I let her tickle “you.” We both laughed at this daily ritual and she declared, “she’s laughing.” As she paused to take another bite of french toast, she asked longingly, “when is sissy boo coming?” Her innocence, her excitement made me press my hands to my belly and reply, “soon sweetie, soon.”
I recount this moment so you know despite the fact that you’ll come into the hustle and bustle of our crazy little family, we are thrilled to be having you sweet girl. We pray for you, we dream about you, we thank God for you.
I wanted to tell you today how much I love you. I wanted to take a moment to think about you. I don’t have a chance to dream about you as often as I’d like, but I wanted to sit, feel your little life and tell you thank you for making me a mom again.
Even though you are not here yet, you’re very much a part of our everyday life. We take you to the park, we show you the Christmas lights, and read you stories. Your sister thinks I Love You Stinky Face is your favorite. I look forward to the day when I snuggle you on my chest as we cheer your sister down the slide. And one day, sooner than I realize, I anticipate the day your sister and I cheer for you on your first trip down the slide.
As Christmas approaches, I can’t help but fast forward to one year from now. I see a busy little baby rounding out our family of four as we sing carols in the twinkle of the tree lights and in probably the chaos but also the sweetness of the moment, I’ll look at you and your sister in matching pajamas, and your handsome dad, and feel my heart expand with a new kind of love for family and the little things.
We need you, baby girl. We need your little personality, your little life to teach us more about love. Soon sweetie, soon.
Dreaming of you today,