Posts Tagged ‘ baby shower etiquette ’

The Great Baby Shower Debate

Monday, October 22nd, 2012

Dear Internets,

Am I the world’s “greediest gus” if I have a baby shower for our second child, not to mention the same gender child as my first? While I know there are valid reasons to have a baby shower for a second child, I am working under the assumption that generally society allows for one baby shower before your days of gratuitous amounts of pink on pink on pink, fetus shaped cookies, overly on-theme parties are over.

But maybe not?

Let’s discuss.

First, let’s get a few plausible reasons for multiple showers out of the way so as not to offend…any more than I purposefully intend. They include but are not limited to; a second child but different gender, the mother has never had a shower, the mother is in need of baby items, or you are a highfaluting celebrity and your shower will be off-DA-chain bonkers and no one will begrudge your invite.

I do not fall into any of the above categories.

Hypothetically speaking, if you receive an invite for a second-baby shower, do you judge that freeloading son-of-a-gun as a presents grubber? Personally, I’d feel like a greedy mc-greederson having another shower. We don’t need anything. But I’d also like to go on record and say, I never say no to presents. If you buy it, I will accept it.

In general, I’m not a fan of baby showers. I like to give people gifts (my heart isn’t all black), but I hate feeling like a fool during the devil’s invention, aka baby shower games. No one can keep their dignity while shoving their face into a mock, poop-tastic, blowout diaper. Also, The Price is Right baby shower game? It always makes me feel like an idiot that I can’t price things I buy regularly. Sorry Bob Barker but it’s not fair when Target, Walmart, Costco etc., all vary so greatly! Oh the stress.

But is it so wrong to shower the mom even though she doesn’t need anything? It is always nice to be thoughtful and giving, and I wholeheartedly approve of celebrating moms and babies.

There are a few solutions to this quandary that I’ve heard amongst my pregnant posse.

I hear tales of women who receive full-on showers for their 3rd and 4th children. Ambitious? Annoying? Ridiculous? You be the judge.

I’ve also heard of “diaper” showers for subsequent babies and while I like the idea in theory (them things is always pricey and necessary), there is only so much baby-themed paraphernalia you can sculpt out of diapers before it just gets cheesy. I joke.

My sister is having her third child next month and her friends insisted they have a little gathering and bring her a bunch of freezer meals to prep for the new baby. Angels. All of them. Another blogger recently posted about a similar meal sharing idea from the company Meal Train.

I also like the idea of a ladies “night” where just you and a gaggle of your best girlfriends brunch, dine or whine, pre or post baby.

Another girlfriend informed me of what I think might be the best solution to the baby shower etiquette question. Enter the sip n’ see, y’all. Apparently it’s a southern tradition that is thrown after the baby is born. The food is light, the drinks are “tell me what you’re sippin’ on” refreshing, and the baby is the main event. No baby registries, just some good ol’ fashioned baby ogling.

I like this sip n’ see for a number of reasons. First there’s no pressure on the guest or hostess for gifts or Pinterest-worthy parties. Second, the star gets to be there. Moms love to show off their babes. And they should! Plus, a new mom, especially a new mom with kids, needs people to tell her how beautiful her baby is, what a wonderful job she’s doing, and a meal she didn’t prepare herself. This all can be accomplished with a sip n’ see.

And third, for the more cautious worrier like myself, a post-birth shower eliminates a possibly difficult situation if something does go wrong. In fact, traditional Jewish custom dictates that baby showers are not thrown and the nursery is not decorated until after the baby is born. It is seen as a way not to tempt fate and honor the sacred and precarious road of pregnancy and birth.

With these options in front of you (or more that I’m unaware of, please share?), fill me in on the social mores. How do you feel about the second-baby shower? If we were BFFs would you deem it socially acceptable to throw me a full-on shower or would you say, “I love you but that’s just too Scrooge McDuck swimming in his vault of gold” greedy? Is the diaper shower route a good option or is the sip n’ see the best way to be thoughtful while allowing the new mom the attention she deserves?

Talk amongst yourselves.

A pregnant lady who is totally not asking for a friend but for herself and her second fetus

Image: Ladies at a baby shower via bikeriderlondon/

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