The Bikini and the Belly

The other night while perusing some literature, People Magazine, really academic stuff, I came across a spread of celebs baring their pregnant bellies in bikinis.

Let’s talk about the bikini and the belly. I know, I know, it seems like torture when the holiday that honors both the noun and the verb “stuffing” is right around the corner, but with plenty of people experiencing snow this week, and my home state of Arizona reaching a bone chilling 63 degrees, I thought we could dream about Kokomo. Don’t worry, we’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow.

Why is it that at times, women, myself included, feel the need to hide their pregnant body? It’s as if they think a mere glimpse of their shocking condition would scandalize others. Listen, teaching high school while pregnant, which I’ve done, will scandalize anyone enough to realize no matter how many muumuus and mom maternity jeans a lady wears, she’s not fooling those hot and bothered teenagers from knowing she’s done the deed.

They know where babies come from and they have a lot of questions or a lot of things to say when they think you’re not listening about you’re being knocked up. Being a pregnant teacher solidified for me that we’re over the days of hiding the bump from the masses. But are the masses ready for the bikini and the belly?

Please divulge, do you feel bold enough to bear all of your pregnant belly glory poolside? Did I miss the memo that all the ladies be doing it and nobody cares if your stretch marks be showing or your lady business be a little less than manicured? Is every pregnant lady confidently strutting her stuff on the beach while SISQO’s assault on the English language, the thong song blares from the boom box slung over her shoulder?

I’ve always been more on the bashful side when it comes to showcasing the nudie bump, not a picture exists (got to keep my future political career (ha) squeaky clean) but their bikini bumps made me question my previous choice. Sometimes the stars get it dastardly wrong, like this album of their painted bellies confirms, but in bikini v. belly, I think they got it right.

When I saw their bellies, tall, small, huge, it just seemed right. Logistically, it just makes sense. The last thing a lady wants when carrying around a sweet little space heater in her stomach is to wear more clothing. In fact, bikinis should be allowed as maternity street wear. Especially for those mamas doing el numero tres trimester in the summer. There’s a special place in heaven for them.

The pregnant bod is beautiful. It’s amazing. Daring to bare it in a itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot bikini is a pregnancy must this go round. “You ain’t fat, you’re beautiful,” as the cinematic masterpiece Corrina Corrina teaches. Never are these wise words more applicable than during pregnancy. Celebs should not be the only ones showcasing their pregnant bods at the beach.

Girl, turn around! Stick it out! Even white boys got to shout, baby got belly!

Just kidding. But seriously.

Photo: Beautiful pregnant woman underwater blue pool relaxed, via Shutterstock

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  1. by Nollie

    On November 14, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    I admire the women who have the guts to do a bikini while pregnant. I also think these are the women who don’t have stretch marks on their stretch marks, swollen legs, etc. #butimnotbitter.

  2. by Kim

    On November 14, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    The one Lady I saw wearing a bikini was in her eighth freaking month. She told me her rule was If she was ok seeing a 16 year old in it, it might send a message to the sixteen year old boys. She did have stretch marks but she was clearly thin enough to pull it off regularly too.

  3. by Leah

    On November 18, 2012 at 8:05 am

    I’ll admit it, I’ve done it. I’ve done it A LOT. With two pregnancies ending at the end of September, my third trimester was smack dab in the middle of beach season. With my first I was too cheap to purchase a maternity suit and squeezed myself into my usual bikini, and with my second I figured, what the heck, I’ve done it once… Even though my butt may have been big and my boobs didn’t quite fit in my top, the belly took center stage (as it should during pregnancy). People love a pregnant lady and a pregnant lady in a bikini is no exception. As far as I’m concerned pregnant women are doing an amazing, beautiful thing and have the right to do and wear whatever makes them happy. It’s our job to simply smile and applaud their every move.

  4. by Ashley F

    On November 19, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    I preferred tankinis (do they even make maternity one pieces?) but most, probably all, of my swimming was done in a private pool in the comfortable company of my own family so wearing a bikini wasn’t that big of a deal. Who wants to spend the extra money on a suit that will only last you one season when your regular bikinis probably still fit? Granted, if I had been in public, I probably would have covered up a little more (and you can read below for that reason).

    That being said, now that I’m NOT pregnant the more of these stretch marks (from my boobs to my knees, yep!) I can cover up, the better!