There is something about the pregnant belly that causes people to lose their filter. As a pretty filter-less person myself, I still manage to pick my cartoon jaw up off the floor every now and again at people’s
Most queries are harmless: When are you due? What are you having? What are you naming her?
Other comments, they hurt a pregnant lady right down to her heartburn induced core. As my burgeoning belly is a little slower to show, (all’s fair in love and pregnancy and it will be nice and massive by the end), I, along with a little help from my pregnant friends, recorded a few inappropriate, yet true “observations” many women endure during pregnancy.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I submit as evidence an airtight case of things never to say to a pregnant lady:
- “You have HOW many weeks left??”
- “You just look miserable.”
- “Wow, you could fit two basketballs in there!”
- “Was that an accident?” (mother of 5)
- “I hope you’re done now.” (mother of 5)
- “Are you allowed to drive? Can you even fit behind the steering wheel?”
- “I don’t know much about having babies, but you are BIG.”
- “Are you sure there’s only one in there? You look like you must be having twins.”
- “I thought you couldn’t possibly get any bigger, but you sure did.”
- With 8 weeks left to go, “WOW, someone’s ready to POP!” or “Any day now.”
- “You must be having a boy because your nose is so wide…. how much wider would you say it’s gotten?”
- “Oh you’re pregnant? I just thought you were getting fat.”
People, there are a finite number of appropriate things to say to a pregnant lady. Ever. Commenting on belly size is rarely a good idea. Especially if you’re going to be using the descriptors: uncomfortable, big, huge, massive, enormous, whale, or “large and in charge.”
Whether the pregnant lady you’re “wishing well” is leo-the-late-bloomer and looks like she’s rocking a serious beer belly for the first six months, or she looks six months pregnant the day after conception, it’s not really polite or helpful to point out the obvious regarding a sensitive topic.
Instead of making a lady feel pregnant-er than she already does, please remember any sort of comments made to her should inspire confidence and honor at what the human body can do. Okay, and flattery. Ain’t nothing wrong with stroking a pregnant lady’s ego. I highly recommend the following forms of pregnant flattery, especially if you see me in the next 17 weeks.
- You look beautiful/stunning/gorgeous (heck, I’d even take your unbelievable use of the word “hot”)
- You are so tiny (or any synonym for tiny)
- You’re all belly
- I can’t believe you’re that far along. I would have never guessed.
- Bless you my good woman
Or a cat call would suffice.