You Might Be Pregnant If…

1. Your ideal bedtime is 7:30.

2. You own the hemorrhoid waddle.

3. You use to cry for silly reasons; now you cry for no reason.

4. You realize cleavage may not be a myth or something only “seen on TV.”

5. Your sense of nutrition is thwarted and the most important food group, “the grease tooth,” only sounds appealing.

6. Your daily schedule now includes time for multiple outfit changes because pants wetting is all part of the routine (I am up to 4 changes in a single day, no shame).

7. You look forward to going to bed at night because that means when you wake up in the morning you get to eat more food.

8. You reminisce about politely leaving the room to pass gas, but now recognize that would mean a life of solitude (sorry husband).

9. Your heightened sense of smell allows you to differentiate what everyone on the block is having for dinner (three houses down, you always smell good; end of the street, too much fish).

10. You want time to move faster. I’m sure there will come a day when I can’t remember why I wished my belly would pop sooner or I plead with the bambino to stop moving so I can get some sleep, but right now, those are highest on the wish list.

Photo: Positive pregnancy test via Rob Hainer/

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  1. by ebony

    On October 12, 2012 at 10:45 am

    haha!! I just had a baby in May, and reading this kind of makes me miss being pregnant.. :(