Till Baby Names Do Us Part

I’m certain I know the reason behind the demise of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ marriage. Scientology? Wrong. Control Issues? Closer. My guess: The prospect of having, and more stressfully, naming another child. This monumental decision has the power to break up even the most perfectly paired (odd) couple.

The “Name Game,” as I refer to it, is anything but. In our house divided, it’s the Montagues vs. the Capulets. Neither party will budge. It was nothing short of a Christmas miracle (in June) that we named our first child. I hear of mythical husbands who don’t really have an opinion, but I’m pretty sure those husbands only exist in TV land. The Rands, my better half, is an involved husband and parent (read: he has an opinion and will share it).

Confession: Trying to pick names for a child is one of the top three most frequent fights in our home. I just don’t know how to say nicely, “The names you choose remind me of strippers.” Allowed a defense, my husband would say my names sound like they belong to Birkenstock wearing, doobie rolling, tree hugging hippies. Agree to disagree.

Being a teacher has ruined one too many names for me. “I’m sorry you love that name, boo, but she was a hot mess of a 10th grader and not exactly a role model for our future child.”

Since I’m adamant I don’t want to go the way of TomKat, we have decided no “Name Game” until the gender is determined. It’s a smidgen less stressful when 50 percent of the fight is automatically eliminated. Also, naming the child is my push present. Oh wait, I just made that up. But it sounds like a solid compromise, right?

With the gender reveal ultrasound right around the corner, the name discussion will no longer be taboo. I’m rolling up my sleeves, cooking a hot meal, baking the Mr.’s favorite treat, putting on some slow jams, all to get into the spirit of “compromise,” or at least, give my favorite names a fighting chance.

Image: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes via s_bukley /Shutterstock.com

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  1. by Allison Ottley

    On September 21, 2012 at 10:31 pm

    Consider yourself lucky that your other half has an opinion! My husband wouldn’t call himself apathetic but he just happens to love every name I suggest which is surprisingly frustrating. We’re probably a long way off from this debate but I’m already feeling overwhelmed!