Posts Tagged ‘ discipline style ’

Would You Discipline Another Parent’s Child?

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011

boy-throwing-tantrumThis past weekend, I found myself heading out of town on one of those long bus rides made infinitely longer by a child who lacked discipline.  The child, a 10-year-old boy, sat behind me and proceeded to kick the back of my chair (incessant thump thump thumps) every 5 minutes for each hour (and there were long, long hours) we sat on the bus.  The child also whined, made fun of, and talked back to his mom throughout the entire ride.

What bothered me most besides the child’s spoiled behavior was the mom’s inability to discipline her son.   With every complaint, the mom would bend to her son’s will and try to appease him; when he threw a tantrum after not getting an ice cream cone, she gave up after 5 minutes and bought him a treat.  She couldn’t bear disappointing him or having him stay mad at her.  The child’s dad looked the other way, never saying a word either.

While I thought of a million ways I could discipline the child, I never said a word to the mom or to the child. Unfortunately, she was also a casual family acquaintance…and not having a child myself, I decided to avoid an awkward situation by choosing to grin and bear it.  This got me thinking how Parents readers would handle disciplining other people’s children.  I’m sure you’ve all been in a situation (whether it’s on a bus or a plane) when another parent’s child is driving you crazy.  Would you talk to the child directly or to the parent?  How would you handle any unbearable situation?

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Is Hot Sauce Mother Blameless?

Friday, February 4th, 2011

hot-sauceThe latest update on hot sauce mama Jessica Beagley is her claim that Dr. Phil’s producers asked her to produce the video of hot sauce and cold showers.

In an AP article, Beagley’s attorney revealed that the mom originally filmed a video of her threatening  the children with cold showers, but no action was taken.  The producers wanted to see the actual discipline demonstrated on film, hence the more controversial video.   In defense, a spokesperson from Dr. Phil’s show said the producers asked that Beagley stop her discipline tactics after seeing the disturbing video. asks: “What’s worse — that they asked her, or that she agreed?  …Ultimately, the victim is Beagley’s son, who never had a choice about whether he’d be on TV in the first place.”

As a parent, would you have made the video knowing you might get a chance to appear on Dr. Phil’s show?

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Would You Discipline Your Child with Hot Sauce?

Tuesday, February 1st, 2011

Jessica Beagley, who recently became known as the mother who forced her son to swallow hot sauce and take cold showers, was charged with misdemeanor child abuse today by a court in Anchorage, Alaska. 

Beagley first appeared on the “Mommy Confessions” episode of Dr. Phil in November 2010.  During the segment, she shared a video that her 10-year-old daughter taped of Beagley disciplining one of her 7-year-old twin sons with the above-mentioned tactics.  Even though she was not present in court, her team of lawyers pleaded “not guilty” on her behalf. 

While some support the hot sauce method, such as former “Facts of Life” start Lisa Whelchel who advocates it in her parenting book Creative Correction, the majority of parents who saw Beagley’s video were shocked and horrified at her discipline tactics.  A media firestorm has increased since November, causing parents to wonder how to discipline their children effectively. 

I’m reminded of a time when I was 4-years-old and I was still sucking my right thumb.  To get me to stop, my grandmother rubbed a chili pepper against my thumb.  While my grandmother wasn’t being cruel or trying to discipline me, she chose a specific method to help me break a “bad” habit.  Just one taste and needless to say, I never sucked my thumb again.   Thankfully, I escaped childhood without being traumatized from chili peppers, but Beagley’s son may grow up fearing hot sauce.

No parent wants to resort to cruel and unusual punishments to stop misbehaviors.  But even though some parents have the best intentions to discipline without yelling and spanking, no amount of time outs or distractions seem to work.  We’re certainly not advocating for hot sauce or chili peppers as a means of tough love, but as parents, we want to hear your thoughts on discipline. How do you discipline your child in a positive way? What are some no-fail discipline tactics you use?  What are the ones you would never use? Share in the comments section below.

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