Top 5 Mommy Moments That Drive You Nuts

Editor’s Note: Ellen Seidman, from the blog To the Max, sent this to us from her friend Jill at Scary Mommy.

This guest post is by the awesome Jill Smokler of Scary Mommy, one of the most popular mom blogs out there. That’s because Jill is extremely funny, extremely wise, extremely real and all about extreme honesty. Jill’s mom to Lily, 8; Ben, 6; and Evan, 4. Somehow she’s managed to write a book, Confessions Of A Scary Mommy. It’s out this week, and it’s every bit as relatable and delicious as her blog. I asked how she squeezed that in—who has time to write a book?! “I wrote a lot of it at 3:00 a.m.,” she explained. Ah. And now, her top 5 mom moments that drive ya nuts.

There is absolutely nothing in the world that compares to the love that I have for my children. It is consuming and overwhelming and simply the most powerful emotion I have ever felt in my life. It’s perfect.

So, how is it that these children whom I love more than anything in the world have a way of getting to me like nobody else ever has? The intensity of the annoyance and frustration I can feel for creatures I love so much never ceases to amaze me. Maybe it’s the balance of loving people so much — that the other emotions have to be equally as intense. I’m not sure what it is, exactly, but it’s a good thing that I do love them so much, or I’d have a pretty tough time liking them. Especially at times like these…

1. When they fuss over bedtime. I just don’t get it — if someone were to give me a bath, put me in clean pajamas, read me a story and rub my back until I fell asleep, I would think I’d died and gone to heaven. Instead, my children insist on bargaining on the timing, refusing to brush their teeth and fighting over bedtime stories. It always ends up being the least pleasant way to end a long day.

2. When they act up during a work call. It’s hard being a work at home parent — hard for the mom to maintain a level of professionalism when she’s chewing leftover grilled cheese crusts for lunch and changing diapers in between assignments, and tough for the kids to understand that they need to respect a role other than mother. The toughest part by far is the work phone call. If I have an important call, I will set my children up with TV show or a computer game, a snack, and instructions not to interrupt me unless there is massive blood, broken bones or an intruder in the house. When the door bursts open because someone changed the channel or they ran out of popcorn, visions of throwing the TV on the floor and bolting off to an off-site office dance in my head.

3. When they whine. When my daughter was a newborn, she cried a lot. Like, constantly. I was convinced that the worst sound in the world to a mother was her darling offspring’s inconsolable cry. What on earth could compare to that? And, then she hit the whining phase and those tears suddenly became melodic.

4. When they wet the bed. I know, I know, it’s not their fault that their bodies aren’t yet wired to wake up in the middle of the night, but still, little pisses me off more than seeing a figure next to my bed at 3AM whimpering that he is soaking wet. The most infuriating part? It always, always, seems to happen on the very night when I have finally washed the sheets and freshly made the bed.

5. When they trash a clean playroom. It’s a rare occurrence when I actually get around to deep cleaning and organizing the playroom. Hours and hours of Lego sorting and Barbie organizing and putting every last toy in the proper box pays off, though, when I can step back and admire the beauty of everything being where it belongs. Sadly, it never lasts more than five minutes before one of my children will inevitably look for some minuscule item and dump out every last box in the process.

Like I said, it’s a good thing I love them so much. Remind me why I do, again?

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  1. by Lynn

    On April 5, 2012 at 11:44 am

    Whining is the worst for me….especially when she doesn’t use the words that at any other time come out 100 words a minute. She can talk but for some reason whines and cries lately so I can’t understand her at all.

    I am slowly getting her to understand that I can’t hear “whine speak” but can definitely hear her when she uses her words. Also, I hear even better is she asks nicely and not “INFORMS” me what I am to do! LOL She is only 2 so she does get some leniency but not much since she can say any word I ask her to (even please and thank you).

  2. by Tiffany

    On April 5, 2012 at 11:52 am

    My current number 1 thing that drives me nuts about my 2 year old is when he refuses to eat what he asked me to make. Just yesterday I asked him what he wanted for lunch. He said “mac cheese”. I made macaroni and cheese. I put it in front of him he said, “I don’t want it. I want chicken!”
    Grrrrr… LOL

  3. by Angel-lena

    On April 5, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    For my it’s the whining, my five yo has gotten to a stage where if she askes nicely and the answer is no (you are not eating icecream for dinner no matter how adorable you are asking for it), she procedes to beg and whine, Please, Please, Please. URGH! I’ve siad, “no means no” so many times lately that I wonder if she even hears it anymore, lol. The other thing lately is, ‘I’ll let grandma brush my hair at her house’, then I pick her up and it’s not been done, then she gets mad and acts as if I’m scalping her when I have to brush two days worth of knots out….I keep thinking, she’s so smart, why doesn’t she realize that she’s only making it worse!, Kids, it’s a good thing we love em!

  4. by Juanita

    On April 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    The worst is when my three year old son won’t go to the potty. It’s been hours since he’s last gone and I know it’s in there and he just refuses to go. Cries, whines, runs away … I’m literally dragging him to the bathroom kicking and screaming. There’s been times when I don’t press it and then, needless to say, he has an accident.

  5. by kim

    On April 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    bedtime. i fricken HATE that time of day. mealtime is a clise second, tied with whining. and how about trash whatever area i just cleaned… shoveling when it’s snowing!

  6. by Nancy

    On April 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    I agree with all these. For me, it is my negotiator son who is five. “time to go to bed, honey”. “awww…five more minutes mom”….then something else and something else …..

  7. by Sarah

    On April 5, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    I so agree with everything everyone’s said, just makes you wonder how they’re all wired the same. My 5year old son…what drives me nuts about him is the “five more minutes, ten more minutes” “I didn’t finish playing with my toys” “can I have macaroni & cheese for the 4th night in a row for dinner?” and no he doesn’t get the word no, it never registers and doesn’t work on him. And my worst biggest pet peeve with him is taking a completely clean living room, turning it into some prehistoric Dino den…and an hour later walking away from it like he had nothing to do with it. When it’s time to clean it up, I end up helping just so it doesn’t take him the next 5 years to clean it up. And he hates, hates bath time!! So what should’ve taken 10 minutes takes us 20 minutes of negotiating and 10 minutes of shower. Patenting is hard, but it takes a lot of compromise and strength.