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Sunday, January 22nd, 2012
Okay, I’ve written about 13 blogs in 7 days about Fia’s sleep regression. I hesitate to even write this one for fear of jinxing myself, but I do think we’re slowly making progress.
We basically made a rule with ourselves that we go in the first time she wakes up, but not subsequent times. This doesn’t count the “encore” that happens every night when we initially put her down. She starts to cry/whine whatever right when we leave the room. I wait 1-2 minutes, then go in for the encore. Rub her tummy, re-tuck her in, and say goodnight. Occasionally it happens a 3rd time. It’s no biggie and it’s just the routine.
So here how the night wakings are going:
2 nights ago she woke up at midnight. I went in and was sharp mama. “Fia, lie down. Lie down. Go to sleep.” She obeyed, and I left. This is similar to other nights. Going in and just not saying anything and physically lying her down wasn’t making a dent. A lot of experts say not to speak, but with her, I think it works.
She woke up again around 1:30, 2:30, then 3:30. We just ignored her until the 3:30 one when I heard her say, “diaper change.” Granted, a heavy diaper has never affected her before, but I certainly couldn’t just sit there. I went in, felt it (it was 400 pounds), changed her quickly, then when back to bed. I think she woke up again at 5 or 5:30, put herself back to sleep and was down until 6:30!
In general I’m noticing progress in the duration of the screaming. The 45-90 minute torture windows are shrinking. I honestly don’t know how long she carries on for, as Phil knocks himself out with ambien and I put in earplugs. But I know they’re shorter durations. And by refusing to go in before 6 a.m., I am at least guaranteed a certain amount of sleep for myself, which I desperately need.
Last night she only woke up at 4 a.m. (in which Phil went in as “sharp dad.” FIA, GO TO SLEEP. NOW! he said.) Then she slept until 6:50!!! So that’s major progress. But I also know last night she was exhausted from prior nights of waking and today she is super well rested. So we’ll see what tonight brings.
But basically in following the pediatrician’s advice/Weissbluth/Ferber with a few minor modifications of our own, I think we’re getting there. I think going cold turkey and not putting her in bed with us really is the key. And probably how the problems began again. You can really tell when you toddler gets a good night sleep. They are so much happier. As are you. Yet another argument for sleep training. It’s for their own good. And yours.
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CIO, Ferber, night routine, pregnancy, pregnant, sleep, sleep training, sleeping through the night, toddler waking, toddler waking in night, weissbluth | Categories:
Fearless Feisty Mama, Milestone Monday
Thursday, January 12th, 2012
Sleeping Sans Bunny Clock. Thank God!
Okay, so I just posted today a long blog about my latest issues and troubleshooting/advice in regards to Fia’s sleep regression. I said that she seemed to be grasping the idea that when, “Bunny wakes up” (the clock we got for her), “Fia wakes up.” I was hopeful.
However, today, I killed bunny. Yup. He’s dead. And I’m overjoyed.
Here’s what happened the night after I thought she was “getting” it with the bunny clock. She was up at 11, 12:30, 1, 2:30, 3:30, 4, 4:50….in which point I finally put her in bed with me. It was worse than her newborn days.
Side note: if you have a child who has been sleeping fine and suddenly there is regression, every expert tells you to examine what is different; what has changed. I couldn’t think of anything…until…
Bingo. It came to me bright as bunny (did I really just write that sentence? That is f–ked up).
She finally “got” that she had a job to do, ie. wake up when bunny wakes up. She didn’t want to shirk her duties or disappoint. She takes her jobs/tasks very seriously. She was up constantly checking on bunny. I even heard her through the monitor and every time I went in and laid her back down. She’d recite: “Bunny awake, Fia awake. Bunny sleeping, Fia sleeping.”
Poor thing, she was putting pressure on herself not to let us–or herself–down. What can I say? She’s a girl. She’s an overachiever. She’s obsessive. She’s like her parents. It breaks my heart. She is so sweet.
So last night I told her, “Bunny went bye bye.” (I may have actually used the word dead, because I was so tired I just didn’t care). I didn’t make a big deal about it though. I just said, “Fia wakes up when Fia wakes up.”
Here is where it gets extraordinary. She didn’t wake up ONCE last night. I mean, that hasn’t happened in weeks. She slept from 7:30-5:10. At that point I put her in the guest bed with me (can’t take her into our bed because Wayne is there snoring and spooning Phil. Yes, it’s ridiculous. Actually, Phil is spooning Wayne. Even more ridiculous).
I felt like a new woman today. Fia felt like a new tot. We were both so well rested. I pray my theory holds tonight and subsequent nights. But bottom line for anyone struggling with this is to ponder if anything has changed in your routine, etc. when the sleep regresses. Bunny was right in front of me and I didn’t realize it until it became an obsession for Fi (ie: waking up constantly).
I hope I never have to type a sentence with “Bunny” in it again. Seriously.
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alarm clock, CIO, cry it out, Ferber, sleep regression, sleep through the night, sleep training, toddler waking, toddler waking up in the night, weissbluth | Categories:
Fearless Feisty Mama, Mom Situations, Mom Tricks and Tips, Must Read
Thursday, January 12th, 2012
Unhappy in Crib
Ugh. Fia is waking up in the night….again. With baby Leroy just 2 weeks away, we gotta figure this out. I can’t have both of them up all night. I’ll lose my mind. Or at least more so than I already will with a newborn.
We sleep-trained her at 4.5 months. From then until this fall (so like 18 months) she was a consistent sleeper: Down at 7, up at 6:30-7. Never woke up in the night.
Then, right when we were packing/moving to LA, she began to wake up in the night. And getting up earlier, like 6:15-6:30. I figured it was all part of the chaos of the move.
But now we’ve been settled here for nearly 4 months, and instead of getting better, she’s regressing. Not only is she now waking up in the night, but she also gets up between 5 and 5:45. For good. Unless. Unless. Unless…we (ack) put her in bed with us. Then she sleeps until 6:30-7. I don’t sleep, but she does.
I have tried cracking the code. We got her this “bunny” alarm clock. When the light on the bottom is on, it shows the bunny sleeping and the moon. When the light on top shines, bunny is awake and the sun is shining. We’ve set it for 6:30 a.m., and explained to her when bunny wakes up, she can wake us up. I really do think she understands. I also think she chooses to ignore.
And now I’m finding that this middle of the night thing is getting out of control. She doesn’t go back down on her own. We have to go in and hold her. Sometimes it’s up to 4 times a night. Add to that, over the weekend she was up at 4:45. For good. I tried to “referber”. Went in at 5 ,10, 15 minute intervals. Can you believe she screamed straight until 6 a.m.?? No tears, just whining/screaming/squawking. Maddening. Phil and I were zombies all day Saturday and Sunday.
I enlisted the help of some of my friends who have all the books on sleep training. I even wrote my old Pediatrician in Brooklyn, Dr. Gold, this weekend asking for her insight/advice. Here is the consensus:
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alarm clock, crib tent, cry it out, family bed, Ferber, moving to LA, pregnancy, pregnant, sleep regression, sleep training, toddler waking up in the night, weissbluth | Categories:
Fearless Feisty Mama, Mom Situations, Moving Mid Pregnancy, Moving to Los Angeles, Must Read