Posts Tagged ‘ Wayne ’

Xanax on Mother’s Day? Maybe…

Sunday, May 12th, 2013

On Friday I was thinking that sitting in a corner taking Xanax might be the perfect Mother’s Day for me. This, after Emmett peed on my leg like I was a fire hydrant (he was naked as I was about to put him in the bath). Then giggled.

The day only got better.

I had to take Wayne to the vet. And Emmett. And Fia.  As I was being told Wayne once again is obese, and no longer my Biggest Loser, Emmett took a pack of crayons and threw them at the cat. Of course this spooked Wayne and fur went flying. Once again, Em laughs. Fia starts screaming “Emmett, don’t do that.” The vet looked at me and said, “Let me get the receptionist to start working on your bill so we can get you out of here quickly.”  Clearly I’m their favorite client. I bribed Fia with a lolipop and Em with his pacifier to just sit the f-ck still.

When we got home I gave Wayne a treat in his bowl. I turned my back for a second. Emmett came running out of the room with the ceramic bowl, threw it across the room where it shattered, then began laughing. He may actually be insane. But insanely happy too. This all happened before 11 a.m.

Do I deserve Xanax? Yes. Maybe 5.

Regardless of how I celebrate my day, I figured posting pictures would help calm me down. And it does. So here goes. I’m taking the rest of the weekend off.

Happy Mother’s Day, Everyone!

Okay, so maybe he looks a little like a barking seal in this picture. After all, we were at the zoo. But I just love how happy he looks. Man, did I get a good one (except that he is WILD)! Pure joy, this boy.

Emmett’s first carousel ride. Clearly he hates it.

Fia on her favorite giraffe!

Both of my babies.

At friend Lazlo’s birthday party

Bubble Time

Alone on the high beam–and giving me a heart attack!

Water play!

 I know I’ve posted this before, but I can’t help but do it again: my beautiful boy!

Add a Comment

Fia Friday: Lollipop Girl

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Parents.com and I want a different picture for my blog post. One that actually has me looking like, well, a parent. So on two different occasions, Phil has tried to snap something of me, Fi and Em. I wanted Wayne in it as well, but we can’t even get the three of us, much less the cat. Kudos to every child photographer, like my friend Cindy, who captures beautiful pictures of babes and makes it look so easy. Phil took about 50 photos–none that are really useable. Then we bribed Fia with a lollipop and got this one. But I hate my hair. Not sure what to do….

Here’s the bribe:

And for fun, here’s a close-up of my little man:

Add a Comment

Milestone Monday: Food Dilemma: I’m Doing it All Wrong–Except I’m Not

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

Author’s Note: Join me every Monday as I share Fia’s ongoing milestone (mis)adventures–from potty training to talking to everything in between.  Mayhem and mischief guaranteed on Milestone Monday!

Eating her Arm, While Distracted by Computer. Whatever Works!

I think we’ve turned a food corner. I’ve written a few posts about how frustrating it is to feed Fi.  And how I’ve just given in to Sesame Street. She watches while I shove food in her mouth. But lately–dare I say–it’s been getting better? In fact, the TV is rarely on when she eats.

Let me first back up: A few days before our move to LA in October, I took Fia to the pediatrician. I thought Wayne had accidentally scratched her eye, though nothing too severe (apparently a corneal scratch will take a 500-pound man to his knees, fyi. She was just a little whiny and occasionally would point to her eye and say “hurts”). Turns out, her eye was fine. But while I was there, the pediatrician asked about some other things, including Fia’s eating habits. I love Dr. Gold because she is a straight shooter. And her advice seems pragmatic.

I proudly told her our television was in transit and how I’ve turned to circus performing during meal times. I dance, I sing. I do anything to distract and shove food in. But I don’t turn on the television. This seemed a huge milestone to me.  She shook her head. Uh-oh, I thought.

(more…)

Add a Comment

To Spank Or Not To Spank

Thursday, December 15th, 2011

Strangling Wayne

Confession: I have swatted Fia a time or two. I hardly consider it “spanking” as it wouldn’t kill an ant. It’s not something I planned. It just came instinctually. Which perhaps I shouldn’t admit?? But it’s not when she tantrums.

When I swat Fia it’s because she is pulling Wayne’s tail. I yell at her to stop and she doesn’t. I try pulling her away and she grips his tail harder. This all happens in a matter of seconds and I know Wayne is about to lose his cool. Which would leave a scratch or a bite. So I do the lesser of evils. I swat her bottom, physically unpeel her fingers from his tail and yell “Fia, stop it.” At least this way she won’t have a scratch. The swatting is basically the distraction that causes her to let go. She doesn’t even react to it like a “spank.” No tears or whining. She just goes on to the next thing.

Like I said, it’s only happened twice. Maybe three times?? But does that put me in this “bad parents spanking” category? I don’t think so.

Parents has an article that talks about why the American Academy of Pediatrics says not to spank. Under any circumstances. But it’s more related to spanking when they tantrum. When she’s super upset, the last thing I would want to do is spank her. That to me doesn’t feel instinctual. It feels mean–and seems like it would only fuel the fire. I’m also lucky in that, so far, (knock on every piece of wood around), she doesn’t have huge tantrums. When they happen, they last for about 2 minutes. Max. I usually take the tactic of ignoring. Then she’s over it.

I’m curious: What do you guys think? And does the urge ever overcome you to swat your child, like I explained in my scenario?

Add a Comment

The Crib Tent Ain’t Gonna Work

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

Sleeping soundly--for five minutes

I had my sights set on the crib tent I ordered. It was $80.00. With Fia suddenly waking up multiple times in the night,  I figured this would us to let her cry it out a bit without the worry of her climbing out of the crib. I have friends who swear by it.

I put it together on Tuesday night and put her to sleep. Of course it’s the one time Phil was out of town for the night. She slept for 30 minutes then began waking up every 5-10 minutes. By 8:30 pm I was exhausted. She has never been this bad, and all I could link it to was the tent. Instead of feeling like she’s in a pretty white canopy, she must have felt like she was in a mesh jail. I admit, I think I’d feel a little freaked too.

In order to take it off, you have to take the mattress out. So here I was at nearly 9 pm, her wailing on the floor and my pregnant self trying to disassemble the whole thing. Finally got her back to sleep–then the usual waking began. Every 3 hours she needed me to come hold her. It’s like she’s a newborn again.

The next morning, this is what I found on our bed:

Really? The cat has to rub it in?

So do I keep an $80 item and call it a Wayne Tent? This is ridiculous. Wayne sleeps too much, Fia not enough. And now she has a runny nose, so I can’t retrain her tonight. Bleh.

Add a Comment