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Where’s The Poop?

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

Okay, so I tackled the Diaper Rash update. Now onto Fia’s poop. Ever since her first one a few days ago, it’s gotten harder and harder for her to want to go. She hasn’t peed yet in the potty either. The last thing I want to do is pressure her, but I also don’t think we should give up at this point.

What’s happening is she wants to go, but is scared to go. She says, “I have to poop.” We tear off the diaper, put her on the potty, and after 10 seconds, she says, “All Done.”  Okay, we say. And let her put her diaper and pants back on–only to have the same scenario repeated over and over. It can go on for 30 minutes, at which point she gets upset with herself (I think), and starts to tantrum and cry about it. I tell her I don’t care if she poops in the potty. I tell her to put her diaper back on and forget about it. But I think she’s a little overachiever and doesn’t want to disappoint herself. So she cries even more. And then the whole thing gets stretched out for hours.

Eventually she does poop (after exhausting all of us) and we cheer, give her a cookie, etc.

Last night this routine began about 30 minutes before bedtime. Problem is, she never made the poop. We finally put her to bed 45 minutes late. Poopless in LA.

This morning, it started again. Now it’s late afternoon. She still says she has to poop, but hasn’t. She’s going to constipate herself. But more than that, I hate to see her put this pressure on herself. Especially because I don’t give a sh-t. No pun intended. I like diapers. I think they’re cute. I don’t care if she goes in them. But she was giving us the cues that she was ready to start potty training, so here we are. Poopless and frustrated.

Any advice?

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To Spank Or Not To Spank

Thursday, December 15th, 2011

Strangling Wayne

Confession: I have swatted Fia a time or two. I hardly consider it “spanking” as it wouldn’t kill an ant. It’s not something I planned. It just came instinctually. Which perhaps I shouldn’t admit?? But it’s not when she tantrums.

When I swat Fia it’s because she is pulling Wayne’s tail. I yell at her to stop and she doesn’t. I try pulling her away and she grips his tail harder. This all happens in a matter of seconds and I know Wayne is about to lose his cool. Which would leave a scratch or a bite. So I do the lesser of evils. I swat her bottom, physically unpeel her fingers from his tail and yell “Fia, stop it.” At least this way she won’t have a scratch. The swatting is basically the distraction that causes her to let go. She doesn’t even react to it like a “spank.” No tears or whining. She just goes on to the next thing.

Like I said, it’s only happened twice. Maybe three times?? But does that put me in this “bad parents spanking” category? I don’t think so.

Parents has an article that talks about why the American Academy of Pediatrics says not to spank. Under any circumstances. But it’s more related to spanking when they tantrum. When she’s super upset, the last thing I would want to do is spank her. That to me doesn’t feel instinctual. It feels mean–and seems like it would only fuel the fire. I’m also lucky in that, so far, (knock on every piece of wood around), she doesn’t have huge tantrums. When they happen, they last for about 2 minutes. Max. I usually take the tactic of ignoring. Then she’s over it.

I’m curious: What do you guys think? And does the urge ever overcome you to swat your child, like I explained in my scenario?

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