Wednesday, December 28th, 2011
Fia torturing Wayne
1. Wayne will have another baby to smother him.
2. I’ll have another baby to smother/obsess over besides Fia.
Smother Mother May 2010
3. Fia will have something besides Wayne to smother.
4. Fia won’t blame me someday for not giving her a sibling.
5. In four months I’ll appreciate sleep even more than I do now (because he’ll sleep through the night by then, right?).
6. We get more chaos in our life. Keeps things interesting.
7. I get my vag back intact from my “condition”—and my spider veins will go away. Promise me that. (um, no picture for that one!)
8. I get to nap with a newborn. Warm and snuggly. Nothing better. Maybe Fia will even lie down with us. Heaven.
Monday, December 5th, 2011
"My Finger Hurts," Fia says
Author’s Note: Join me every Monday as I share Fia’s ongoing milestone (mis)adventures–from potty training to talking to everything in between. Mayhem and mischief guaranteed on Milestone Monday!
How is it that my toddler turns two and develops severe hypochondria? Actually, it ‘s been going on for some time now. Every part of her body seems to be in constant pain.
“Mommy, finger hurts. Kiss. Make better.”
“Mommy, eye hurts. Kiss. Make better.”
I’m all for smothering her, but this is getting a little ridiculous.
The most common body part: her elbow. I’ve never met a person who has such constant elbow pain. And none of these body parts are on the same side. Sometimes it’s the left thumb. Other times it’s the right pinky.
The best is when I’m driving. These phantom pains pop up as she sits in her car seat listening to Elmo. Isn’t it bad enough that I can’t listen to NPR? But now I have to hear her listing off her knee, her cheek, her shoulder ailments…. I’m not stopping on the freeway to offer kisses, that’s for damn sure. Silly girl.
When I was in 2nd grade, I had a fake cast made and wore it to school. I pretended I broke my arm. Clearly I was a needy child, desperate for attention, even though at that time in my life, my parents gave me plenty. Did Fia inherit this trait? And is this hypochondria thing a normal milestone, or am I going to have the youngest person on the planet diagnosed with fibromyalgia?
Baby Finger picture via Shutterstock
Categories: Fearless Feisty Mama, Milestone Monday, Mom Situations, Must Read | Tags: body, body parts, health, hurts, hypochondria, hypochondriac, kiss, kisses, milestone monday, smother, turning 2, turning two