Posts Tagged ‘ sleeping through the night ’

Milestone Monday: Is No Schedule a Schedule?

Monday, September 10th, 2012

Emmett is sleeping through the night. Mostly. I know they say in 12-step programs, “Progress Not Perfection” so I’m using that mantra on the nights that he decides to cry at 3:35. Which is about every other. Some nights he is asleep for 12 hours. Others he still wakes up a few times. It could get frustrating, but I’m not letting it. Ironically with my night help gone, I am enjoying my nights more. As much as I loved my gals, it was “work” to be social at 10 pm when they came and at 6 a.m. when they left. (Yes, poor me, right?)

I think I’m finally pulling together some sort of a schedule with him too, but it’s taken 7+ months to get there. He now takes a morning nap and an afternoon nap. Occasionally an evening nap. Considering I only ever got 30 minute naps with Fia until she turned 18 months, I feel pretty good about what is happening.

But what I’m learning more than anything is that every baby truly is different. I know that sounds like the “duh” factor, but I honestly thought you sleep train every baby the same way, you feed them the same way, you nap them the same way. And some get it and some don’t. But now I’m realizing that as moms, it’s our job to follow the cues and make decisions accordingly.

What what worked for Fia (3 days of Ferber) didn’t work the same way with Emmett, so we modified. Sometimes that includes putting in earplugs and letting him cry. Seems like the more we go in to soothe, the more upset he gets. The nights that we don’t go in, he typically calms himself down and falls back asleep in under 7 minutes.

This could also be because I waited until 7 months to Mom-Up with the sleep. I know the older they get the longer it takes to train them.

For a Type-A like myself, this is a growth spurt. I like things bundled up neat and tidy. Including schedules. But what Emmett is teaching me is to go with the flow a little more.

My husband seems much more puzzled. “Why is there no pattern to when he cries in the night?” he asks in frustration. “Why isn’t sleep training working?” I just shrug and say, “Don’t worry, he’ll get there.” Then I remind him that nothing is foolproof in parenting.

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Sleep Update: Progress Not Perfection

Sunday, January 22nd, 2012

Okay, I’ve written about 13 blogs in 7 days about Fia’s sleep regression. I hesitate to even write this one for fear of jinxing myself, but I do think we’re slowly making progress.

We basically made a rule with ourselves that we go in the first time she wakes up, but not subsequent times. This doesn’t count the “encore” that happens every night when we initially put her down. She starts to cry/whine whatever right when we leave the room. I wait 1-2 minutes, then go in for the encore. Rub her tummy, re-tuck her in, and say goodnight. Occasionally it happens a 3rd time. It’s no biggie and it’s just the routine.

So here how the night wakings are going:

2 nights ago she woke up at midnight. I went in and was sharp mama. “Fia, lie down. Lie down. Go to sleep.” She obeyed, and I left. This is similar to other nights. Going in and just not saying anything and physically lying her down wasn’t making a dent. A lot of experts say not to speak, but with her, I think it works.

She woke up again around 1:30, 2:30, then 3:30.  We just ignored her until the 3:30 one when I heard her say, “diaper change.” Granted, a heavy diaper has never affected her before, but I certainly couldn’t just sit there. I went in, felt it (it was 400 pounds), changed her quickly, then when back to bed. I think she woke up again at 5 or 5:30, put herself back to sleep and was down until 6:30!

In general I’m noticing progress in the duration of the screaming.  The 45-90 minute torture windows are shrinking. I honestly don’t know how long she carries on for, as Phil knocks himself out with ambien and I put in earplugs. But I know they’re shorter durations. And by refusing to go in before 6 a.m., I am at least guaranteed a certain amount of sleep for myself, which I desperately need.

Last night she only woke up at 4 a.m. (in which Phil went in as “sharp dad.” FIA, GO TO SLEEP. NOW! he said.) Then she slept until 6:50!!! So that’s major progress. But I also know last night she was exhausted from prior nights of waking and today she is super well rested. So we’ll see what tonight brings.

But basically in following the pediatrician’s advice/Weissbluth/Ferber with a few minor modifications of our own, I think we’re getting there. I think going cold turkey and not putting her in bed with us really is the key. And probably how the problems began again. You can really tell when you toddler gets a good night sleep. They are so much happier. As are you. Yet another argument for sleep training. It’s for their own good. And yours.

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