Posts Tagged ‘ sleep training methods ’

I’ve Been Had…by a 2-year old

Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

Happily Eating Her Churro at the Zoo

God help me. I just wrote a post about feeling like a big crumb in letting Fia Scream It Out last night. Explained in the post that on a playdate yesterday my mom friend told me that perhaps she was waking up so often because of an ear infection. I didn’t really pay heed. Then, lo and behold, after 90 minutes of screaming last night, I went into Fia’s room and she says “Ear hurts.” I nearly toppled over.

Okay, she is just over 2 years old.

She always says various body parts are hurting, so I’ll kiss them. Ear has never come up. (Somehow, even though she gets gobs of attention, she must still be wanting more with these constant “hurts.” Maybe because new baby is coming?) I knew she must be telling the truth. And my puzzle was rapidly coming together.

For background: as this mom and I were discussing the ear thing, Fia was loudly playing with another boy, jumping up and down on his bed. She wasn’t paying attention to us or what we were talking about. Or so I thought.

Our sleep conversation used the word “ear” once…maybe twice. The whole discussion was about 3 minutes long.

When the doc came in to examine her ear this afternoon, she points to the opposite one. I instantly had this sinking feeling, like, Oh no, she can’t be making this up, right? Right?

He looks in that ear. Declares it perfect. Looks in the other one. Perfect as well. I am almost in tears. I’m so G-d D-mn tired, I can’t believe I still have no solution to her sleep issues.

But get this: I now think my little busybody overheard our conversation and somehow used it in the night. I know, that’s giving a 25-month-old a lot of brain credit. But I think it’s true. I think she is my little master manipulator. I cringe to think about her teenage years. We will definitely have to move to New Zealand and become sheepherders. That way when she sneaks out her bedroom window, she’ll only have the sheep to party with.

I tell the doc everything. Bunny clock, going in at 5, 10, 15 minute increments, letting her cry for 90 mins. And, of course I have to disclose that we bring her into bed with us when we can’t take it anymore.

He told me that the bed thing is the kiss of death. And that she might scream for 4 hours. But that if I want to have her back on her schedule, I absolutely cannot bring her into bed with us. Especially now that we know nothing is wrong with her. He said it may take 3-5 nights. I have 6 nights before my c-section. So once again, we’re starting tonight and this time refusing to give in.

I took her to the zoo after the appointment. As she chased a peacock, she turned and said to me, “Mama, ear hurts. Kiss it.” I looked at her, started laughing and said, “Fia, your ear does not hurt.” She got this mischievous grin on her face, laughed, and ran after the bird. I waddled after her. This girl is going to keep me on my toes. Always. She is trouble. Pure and simple. But I love her so. Now GO THE F-CK TO SLEEP!

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Milestone Monday: Sleep Training Revisited?

Monday, November 7th, 2011

Author’s Note: Join me every Monday as I share Fia’s ongoing milestone (mis)adventures–from potty training to talking to everything in between.  Mayhem and mischief guaranteed on Milestone Monday!

Okay, so I’m a self-declared sleep Nazi. At least I have been since Fia was 4 1/2 months and we did Ferber. Worked like a charm. Got a few hate comments from my blog on it, but I stand resolute. I believe sleep is the best thing for her and myself and I have never backed down. I haven’t had to. She has consistently slept through the night. Until now.

I can attribute it to a few things: a huge move from Brooklyn to LA; having her routine completely uprooted; having my in-laws here the last 10 days showering her with constant attention (which I have no problem with). But in the midst of all the chaos surrounding us, we have lost the sleep. It could also be that this is a milestone regression. I hear that some tots hit a certain age and you have to re-Ferber. She is 23 months now, and I’d say the sleep started to go downhill a month ago.

I have held off on re-training because I wanted us to settle in. And here’s my dirty little secret: when she wakes up at 2 or 3 a.m., the only way to get her down now is to lie with her. In other words, co-sleeping. Gasp! And whereas before, in those early months, I was terrified of rolling onto her and never slept, now I actually cuddle into her warm little body and doze off nicely until 5:45 (which blows, but she goes down at 7 pm, so I can’t expect much better).

When my mother-in-law was here, I could hand her off and go back to bed until 7 or so, feeling rested. Now I don’t have that luxury. And with the new baby on the way, I know I can’t begin co-sleeping. It just isn’t our thing. Sleep is far too important to Phil and me.

I guess my question is: do I start tonight? Or wait another week until we have a little more routine? I fear that the longer I wait, the worse the habit will become–like it is with her pacifier now, which I swear I’m going to get rid of before her two-year old bday next month (that’s another one I’ll be looking for advice on).  Maybe I just dive in tonight??

So for today’s milestone, I feel like I’ve gone backwards a bit and am looking to you all for advice and insight. I have a crib tent that I will put on so that when we do re-Ferber, I won’t worry she’s going to climb out.

 

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Sleep Training–It’s a Gift

Wednesday, July 20th, 2011

sleep training, pacifiers

yeah, I know. I gotta tackle the pacifier thing soon....

If there is one thing I am evangelical about in motherhood it’s sleep training. I want to spread the gospel far and wide. I want to convert those who don’t believe. I simply don’t get why moms (or dads) would rather suffer and put themselves through Guantanamo Bay-sleep torture by choice.

In fact, I don’t think you should complain about being tired/up with your baby at 3 a.m. if you choose not to sleep train (this excludes the first few months when you hunker down and deal with it). And there are exceptions: illness, special needs babies, adjusting to travel, etc. But at a certain point if you choose not to sleep train it’s like complaining about you’re unhealthy diet and eating donuts all day. Makes no sense. Especially because you’re not doing your child any favors–I mean, babies need sleep. Humans need sleep. We need uninterrupted sleep.  It is essential to life, to our well being.

I didn’t always feel this way. When I first had Fia and my pediatrician suggested letting her cry it out all night, I gasped in horror. And changed pediatricians. By three months I was the walking dead. By four, my husband threatened a padded room and straightjacket. Our strong marriage foundation was getting weaker with each anguished night. Many of my friends had sleep trained. They were gentle with me and would simply say, “If you do it right, it works.” I thought they were monsters.

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