Wednesday, July 6th, 2011
I have irrational anger. And I’m not a completely irrational person, nor am I particularly angry. But in my mommy life, I have found the mundane to be maddening.
For example: sirens. I live in New York City. They’re expected, right? But what about after 45 minutes of strolling when Fia FINALLY succumbs to sleep? It happens constantly: an obnoxious siren wails by. Probably to save someone’s life. But damn it, it interrupted her REM and now I’ve lost the nap. Great. Thanks a lot.
Then there’s the old ladies, the maternal grandma types. Revered and respected. And yet, I find myself wanting to pull out duct tape and handcuffs. Just as Fi is dozing off in her stroller, they come and huddle. They’re like hens and she’s the egg, being smothered.
“Look at the baby!!! Isn’t she cute?” they say, wriggling their hands into our personal stroller space. This of course makes Fi light up, knowing she has once again eluded naptime. Yeah yeah, I know, it’s a tough problem when one has a beautiful baby. But seriously, I can’t be mean and shush them, can I? Plus, they swoop in so fast, I hardly have time to jerk the stroller and run the other way. We need an invisibility cloak.
And don’t even get me started on the construction workers. A cement drill starts up right when I walk by…really? Are you so oblivious to the world around you, trying to be a hard worker, that you can’t notice a BABY IS SLEEPING????
And damn you city bus. Get your breaks fixed…PLEASE. You grind and shriek to a stop on every corner of my neighborhood. It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard times 1001. If I were a spitter, I’d wet you down with all the saliva I could muster.
But a mom doesn’t do those things. She doesn’t throw rocks at ambulances, punch old ladies, scream at construction workers and spit on buses. After all, we’re trying to set an example for our children.
And in case I get some mean-awful-nasty comments on this one, please know that as a requirement to read my blog, you must bring a sense of humor.
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