Fragile–and Now Frantic

Friday, February 17th, 2012

I am so ill-equipped at motherhood it’s astounding. I mean, I saw my mother through a crack addition and death. And yet, my tot gets sick and I freak the f–k out.

Last night out of nowhere, Fia spiked a fever. We were just finishing her bath when she went pale and started to shake. I grabbed the brand-new/expensive forehead thermometer I bought and swiped it on her. 105 it said. I began to shake.

I should note that Fia has never had a severe fever before. Which makes me one of the luckiest moms to have come this far, dodging bullets. However, it also means I’m no veteran when it comes to coping with a sick child.

Phil and I, both novices, did a couple stupid things. We a) panicked; b) put her in fleece pajamas, since she was shaking and wrapped her in two heavy blankets. (Apparently this makes the fever worse. Duh.); and c) took the forehead temp again…only to have it register 107. I almost went into convulsions right then and there. Note to all parents: those things suck. They are so inaccurate they must be designed to get you to the ER. Even if it’s unnecessary. I could get into some major anger issues over this.

We grabbed a rectal, stripped her down of the 11 layers, and were relieved to have it register at a mere 104.1. Never thought that would seem like a “reasonable” number. We gave her Tylenol. Then texted a friend, who suggested alternating Tylenol and Motrin/Advil. And giving her Pedialyte. We had none of that. Like I said, we’re ill-equipped and obviously incompetent. Or were. Not anymore. Now I have a small pharmacy in my house.

I called the pediatrician. It was after hours. They said on their machine not to page a doctor unless it’s over 105.5. Huh? I guess in some ways it made me feel better, as she was still in a decent “zone” if you will. They listed other reasons to call: a purple rash, seizure, etc. None of those she had.

We then put on a lighter pair of pajamas, took her 23 stuffed animals out of her bed, and covered her with a light swaddle blanket. I checked her throughout the night. The fever went up and then down…like a roller coaster. So did my emotions.

This morning she seemed much better, much cooler. Still has a fever of 102.1 but I began to calm down….until…. I got an email from her preschool. Apparently hand, foot, and mouth disease is going around. And this is the classic progression of it. First a fever, then sores. I just finished Googling it–bad idea. Especially the Wikipedia stats on how many kids died in Malaysia and China from it (note: none in the U.S., which should calm my nerves). And now I’m waiting for the doctor to call me back. Not only am I worried about Fia, even though this is a common toddler ailment, but I have a 3-week old at home. Dear God help me. I’m going to seriously lose my sh-t. What do I do? Never send her to preschool again? Quarantine our family from the world? That’s what I feel like doing. I know, I sound ridiculous. But being in my fragile state of mind already, this is going to send me over the edge.

That’s all for now.

Germs Germs Go Away

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

Shooting Germ Segment

I’m a germ phobe (read my blog on grout issues). I’ve gotten better but I do dig hand sanitizer. Right before I moved to LA, I was on a shoot with one of my best friends and her two daughters. They were superstars and I was so happy they agreed to be our guinea pigs. Here’s the video.

Staying Healthy At Home

As you can see, the shoot was about germs and keeping ourselves and our kids clean. A few highlights:

(note: the shoot was in conjunction with Better TV and sponsored in part by Sani-Hands, so what I learned was from the reps of the company).

Some of the top germ spots in your house are: your computer, your mouse and your cell phone (think about the iphone. Your fingers touch the same surface you talk into. It’s one of the reasons I stick with my blackberry. At least part of the front isn’t touched by my fingers).

And get this: your computer keyboard has 200 times more bacteria than a toilet sick. Gross. I could get sick right now thinking about it all.

Then there’s the usual: Doorknobs, light switches, countertops, refrigerator door handle, etc.

And even though you may not know it, you touch your face a lot during the day.

Here’s what else I learned on the shoot:

Hand sanitizer gel isn’t as effective as you may think (granted, this is the competing sani-wipes company speaking, but it kind of makes sense). You’d have to put a lot of gel in your hands to really kill all the germs. The pea or nickel size we typically use, while killing some germs, just more or less moves them around. I’m told the sani-hands wipes are more effective because they have the right dosage of germ killing power, plus the friction from wiping doesn’t spread the germs, but gets rid of them. Within 15 seconds.

I must admit, I carry little packets of alcohol wipes when I travel. Think about all the places germs linger: on airplane armrests, on remote controls, phones and light fixtures in hotels, steering wheels and stick shifts of cars. I know that many germs are important, and building up a good immune system is imperative to long term health and hygiene. But I do often wipe down some of the things I mentioned above.  The company we shot with gave me a bunch in travel size packets.

They came in handy during my barfing incident with Fia. However, I would have needed a gallon to do the job on that one.

Just figured I’d share. Flu season is nearly here. Fingers crossed none of us get it!

Baby Barf Isn’t a Fashion Statement

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

Fia at camp-- post barf

It’s not everyday I get to walk down the streets of Soho smelling like baby barf. In fact, I’m not even in Soho very often. But as luck would have it, the one day I decided to take Fia into the fashionable hip area of New York City, she let loose.

My friend Courtney and I were taking the babes to a mom-tot camp. I recently got a car, so we decided to drive. Being pregnant and hot in the subways isn’t real appealing.

As I pulled into the parking garage, I heard the gurgling sound. And then smelled it. Phil had given her both milk and yogurt that morning. Fetid. It was everywhere.

The parking attendant dudes were amazing. They gave me paper towels, cleaning supplies, the works. In a scenario like this you find out quickly how good—or useless—your mom friends are.  Courtney got right in there and helped me with the mess as her son Teddy slept blissfully in the car seat next to Fia’s. How he didn’t wake up from the stench is beyond me.

Poor Fi was crying at first but then got her happy face on. Especially when I took her in the grubby parking lot bathroom and tried to give her a sink shower. She thought it was bath time.

“No, don’t touch the faucet,” I yelled as I dangled her over the dirty sink. “No, not the paper towels either.”  I was trying to hold her away from me as I cleaned her. It was a good core and arm workout. The floor was covered with water and dirt and her vomit. It was just a royal mess. (I did mop up the mess after.)

Of course it was one of those times when I didn’t bring a full back up outfit. I had a kimono-top, but that was it. Poor baby had her first experience in Soho looking more homeless than high fashion.

But now I get the badge of barf honor and know even more how imperative friends and family are. It takes a village—especially with vomit.

Daycare Dilemma

Thursday, July 7th, 2011

I decided to put Fia into daycare. It lasted exactly one hour.  (For those who follow my blog, I did this a few weeks before I wrote the Sitter Chronicles).

I had this idea that she’d get more interaction, have structure, and maybe even learn to nap in a group setting (she currently naps in the stroller in our downstairs bathroom). I pictured her sitting at a table with other tots, drawing, or sitting in circle time, listening. She already plays with other kids her age, but it’s without any sort of routine.  And I keep hearing how good it is for kids to have a routine.

I found a daycare in our neighborhood that allows part time. The ratio is 4:1. Seems reasonable. I enrolled her for two afternoons a week.

The “transition” started a few days before. First day: 1 hour with me there. 2nd day: 1 hour, but with me for only 15 minutes. 3rd day: I disappear for the hour.

I went the first day and that was it. Here’s why:

(more…)

Return From My Baby-less Vacation

Thursday, February 17th, 2011

Okay, so it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be–leaving Fi for the first time. Truth be told, it is rejuvenating to know my individuality is still intact.  I wasn’t sure, considering how much I squeeze and smother her. It wouldn’t surprise me if one day I woke up and was missing a limb because my body partially morphed into hers.

But alas, I had all my body parts with me to jump off rocks into pools of water created by waterfalls; hike the lush rainforest where palm trees soar higher than three-story buildings; canoe through caves with ancient artifacts; do yoga overlooking the jungle; and bask in the sunshine and warmth that Belize kindly gave us.

he's cute, but he's no Fia

Meanwhile, back at home, things weren’t so carefree. Phil got sick. Then a sitter got sick and he had to scramble for a backup. Then that sitter told him he needed to take Fi to the doctor for a couple bumps under her eye (I had already asked the doctor, and she gave the universal cure: Aquaphor.  Sidenote: aren’t teething and Aquaphor the cause and cure for everything with babies?). Our regular doctor couldn’t get him in, so he spent a morning carting her to another one, losing half a day of work. And me, well, I was probably stretched out on a beautiful mahogany deck with hummingbirds, reading a book, with zero cell signal.

cut off from the world

Here’s where he gets mountains of credit: once a day I would log onto someone’s computer and check email. There was always a quick update, telling me a little bit about how Fi was doing; how everything was great; and how he hoped I was having a fantastic time. Only when I returned did he tell me about his struggles.

For that, I humbly bow and sing his praises. I do, indeed, have a fantastic husband. Having said that, do I feel guilty? Not a bit. Do moms deal with this sort of thing everyday? Of course.  It’s life in the motherlane. It’s always fast, with twists and turns, and no matter how thoroughly you map it, there are times you’ll get lost.

So with that said….two days after I came home, I got hit with a wicked stomach flu. The following day Phil flew to LA for work.  Perhaps it’s penance. Or the universe laughing at me. But realistically, I think it’s just another U-turn on the map of motherhood.