Thursday, August 4th, 2011
A WORLD SANS ELMO
I barely put my foot down in San Diego today for the BlogHer Conference when my husband called me. He sounded so serious.
“I think we need a new babysitter.”
My heart tightened. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes, but you have something to blog about with sitters again.”
Oh dear lord, not the Sitter Chronicles again, I thought.
“What happened?” I said almost frantic.
“She lost Elmo.”
The world screeched to a stop. I felt dizzy. Saw bright lights. My brain turned fuzzy.
“OH NO!!!!!!!!” I screamed.
“Yep,” he says, “It’s true.”
This is a substitute sitter who we’ve only used once before. My regular sitter had to cancel at the last minute and with me going out of town; I had to scramble to find a replacement. I emailed her a list of stuff to be aware of last night, and one was Fia flinging her shoes off while she’s in the stroller. I’d hate to loose an expensive pair of stride rites. (I left this morning before she came and was completely freaked out about not being there in person to drill everything into her. Namely, no texting while strolling, stay on top of Fia at all times, don’t let her have pacifier during the day…you know the usual control freak issues of moms–or at least this one.)
But because she was so focused on Fia flinging her shoes, she didn’t notice the little red monster being hurled out on the street. She retraced her steps, but was too late. Elmo was gone. G-O-N-E.
I blame Phil. He should have told her not to take her monsters out of the house. This is what happens when mama leaves town. Things go south. Elmo becomes homeless.
As I type, Phil and Fia are on the way to the toy store to buy a replacement Elmo before bedtime (didn’t happen, see picture). Hopefully this is the biggest thing I will worry about while I’m out here for 3 days. I’d really like to enjoy this conference of entrepreneurial women, maybe learn a thing or two, and sleep in!! So please sitters/husband/and Wayne Sanchez–I’ll even include you–Take care of my baby. And her accoutrements. In the words of our annoying, talking Sesame Street book, “See You Sooooon.”
Categories: Fearless Feisty Mama, Mom Situations | Tags: blogher, blogher conference, cat, conference, Elmo, losing things, losing toys, lost elmo, lost toys, monsters, sesame place, Sesame Street, sitters, sitters losing things, sleep, sleep training, toy store, toys, Wayne Sanchez
Monday, July 4th, 2011
I’m not particularly proud of this revelation, but feel the need to share. It worked beautifully for us this weekend.
We were in Wisconsin for a wedding and staying at a hotel. Even though Fia is really adaptable, she doesn’t always sleep great on the road. Plus there’s a time change.
The first morning she woke up at 5 a.m. My husband was on baby duty, so he stumbled in her room, dog-tired and had either a brilliant epiphany or a catastrophic idea that will further enable her Sesame Street addiction.
Since she is already a Sesame Street fanatic, Phil put her in the crib with an hour long show on his computer and propped it on the bed like this:
We named it Sesame Street Jail. She likes being behind these bars.
Phil climbed in another bed in the room with a pillow over his head, trying to block out Elmo. It wasn’t a perfect hour of sleep, but it did the trick. And now we are obsessed with the little red guy. He’s a miracle.
For the next 4 mornings, we have gotten accustomed to this new way of life. We’re going back home tomorrow. Surely we will have withdrawal. I don’t know who it will be harder on. Us or her. Maybe both. Sesame Street Anonymous anyone?
Friday, June 17th, 2011
Okay, what the f–k is the deal with Elmo?
I’ve put on television before. Besides our mutual love of Lee Goldberg, she really has shown no interest in it. But then, a few weeks ago, I decided to put on Sesame Street. Within seconds I had a full-fledged addict on my hands. I used to have to drag her outside to get away from Wayne Sanchez. She became obsessed with his tail and he in turn, became obsessed with using his claws….on her. Now I have to leave because of that furry red thing. She’ll stand there pointing, begging for me to turn on the TV. She’ll whine, then wail, then flop on the floor kicking. I try to distract her with books, toys, even Wayne. Nothing works. Not only that, but now every word in her vocabulary is replaced with that annoying four letter one. She just learned “elbow.” I kept hoping she was just practicing that. But who points to a turned off TV, shrieks and flails because of a body part?
Now if this were a character created by Disney, I would absolutely insist there is some sort of creepy conspiracy. However, it’s PBS. Nevertheless, there are surely conspiracy theorists out there who think Elmo is programmed deep inside the US government to make our children, well, I don’t know. Something. Because this addiction is just downright weird.
Categories: Fearless Feisty Mama, Must Read | Tags: addiction, addiction to television. toddler addiction, baby, Big Bird, characters, conspiracy, Disney, eat, eating, Elmo, Intervention, Lee Goldberg, New York Times, Sesame Street, Sesame Street characters, television, time, toddler, tv, tv addiction